Secret Kisses

"Kiss her, for me."

There's only one 'M' difference between the meaning with a comma and a coma.

Coma white. Coma black. Cosi fan tutte.

The sly curvature of your lips is a breeding ground of little baby deceptions. I never knew you had so much maternal instinct, or that you had bastard children behind my back. Then I adjusted the focus on the lens and saw the devastation you are carefully planning.

If you could only talk to me like you weren't still 7 years old trying to pull one over on the babysitter, I might actually be able to believe the sentiments you attempt to project.

Say I stop smoking for a year and during that year you are just as apathetic as the last, yet I am engulfed in the stress of your cryogenesis and no matter how many cigarettes I don't smoke, your actions don't display even a fraction of the dedication that mine do on a daily basis. What will I have gained? Some better physical health while I drown in the loss of faith in male humanoids? I'd rather be productive consistently than throw a wrench in my life to have my leap of faith turn into a pitfall. I can't afford to give a fuck about us if you can't give a fuck to give a fuck about giving a fuck at all. I have made improvements in my productivity and decreased my smoking cigarettes but you are stuck up the rectum of a guy who also smokes yet you don't blame his smoking for your own problems do you? So why would you blame MY smoking cigs for your problems instead unless you're really just trying to project your mommy issues onto the nearest female who is compassionate/masochistic enough to listen?

Guess what? Cigarettes have never told me to fuk myself. They have never made me doubt my abilities or worth as an individual, nevermind as a woman. Cigs don't spend my money on bullshit and then get this psychotic jewyness about anything I want to buy for REAL LIFE NEEDS. Cigarettes don't make me feel insecure, and they don't abandon me. The only thing negative that cigarettes do is POTENTIALLY cause cancer, emphasema, and eventually possibly death but I'm a quality over quantity kind of person-- I'll take 60 years of productivity and calm over 90+ years of subjecting myself to emotional vulnerability ANY DAY OF THE FUCKING WEEK. And though I'm trying to quit smoking cigs so I can find the balance between losing faith in humanity and total nirvana, I can not accept a double standard of treating me like I'm trailer trash while I am at least TRYING to quit while you wipe your "Other" friend's asshole with your bare hand and an offer to lick his anus clean if he needs with a warm smile, ejaculating compassion onto his face-- and he doesn't even care to quit smoking and used the oldest most classic poser-in-denial excuse ALL weak people use who can't muster the testicular fortitude to face their problems, "If I wanted to quit, I could quit anytime, I just don't want to." ........Yeah I said that too, once... then I decided it's probably best not to lie to myself cuz I DON'T want to be a fucking douchey poser. Posers die alone, and I am not planning to make that a reality for my life, because:

I respect myself, and I highly recommend for your own sake that you start doing the same.
 
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