ShelleBear
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2000
- Messages
- 495
Second Chance
Nothingness. Blackness. No hurt. No anger. No pain. No love.
Remembering. Why me? Why am I so deserving? So special.
The petals on the rose begain to wither, and were one by one falling off.
You cant escape by distorting your reality.
Now with tender loving care....someone to give them a second chance......
the roses are being nursed back to health.
Will I ever forget? Do I ever want to forget?
The thoughts swirl through my mind. The what if's.
How do I grab them and make sense of it all when Im alone with no one who can possibly understand.
The nothingess scared me.
How do I deal with this all?
No one can relate. Everyone wants to forget about it. If its not mentioned or talked about then it will become a distant memory....they can pretend that it never happened.
But it did. And I cant forget. That night changed me....made me who I am presently. If they are scared to talk about it, why dont they imagine what I feel. Or are they scared to know what I felt. They want it to be forgotten, and not spoken about.
But my mind wants to talk about it. My mind longs for answers........
My heart is overwhelmed in thankness.
So many miracles and I was the lucky recepient to receive them all in one night.
That night will be forever engraved into my mind. It is now a part of who I am.
I needed that night....no matter how scary it was.
Endless hours to think. The tick toc of the machine that no one can ever imagine. Aloneness.....with no one there. Just the tic toc of that machine as my only company.
I feel like I have been given new eyes........
Im soaking in everything.......
the leaf blowing in the wind is so beautiful.
No regrets. A life long lived. I want to make my second chance be very true.
[This message has been edited by ShelleBear (edited 18 February 2001).]
Nothingness. Blackness. No hurt. No anger. No pain. No love.
Remembering. Why me? Why am I so deserving? So special.
The petals on the rose begain to wither, and were one by one falling off.
You cant escape by distorting your reality.
Now with tender loving care....someone to give them a second chance......
the roses are being nursed back to health.
Will I ever forget? Do I ever want to forget?
The thoughts swirl through my mind. The what if's.
How do I grab them and make sense of it all when Im alone with no one who can possibly understand.
The nothingess scared me.
How do I deal with this all?
No one can relate. Everyone wants to forget about it. If its not mentioned or talked about then it will become a distant memory....they can pretend that it never happened.
But it did. And I cant forget. That night changed me....made me who I am presently. If they are scared to talk about it, why dont they imagine what I feel. Or are they scared to know what I felt. They want it to be forgotten, and not spoken about.
But my mind wants to talk about it. My mind longs for answers........
My heart is overwhelmed in thankness.
So many miracles and I was the lucky recepient to receive them all in one night.
That night will be forever engraved into my mind. It is now a part of who I am.
I needed that night....no matter how scary it was.
Endless hours to think. The tick toc of the machine that no one can ever imagine. Aloneness.....with no one there. Just the tic toc of that machine as my only company.
I feel like I have been given new eyes........
Im soaking in everything.......
the leaf blowing in the wind is so beautiful.
No regrets. A life long lived. I want to make my second chance be very true.
[This message has been edited by ShelleBear (edited 18 February 2001).]
