screwed up

slipped last night, er well around 8pm. my buddy had a suboxone, and asked if i wanted any. I've been having a shitty day, and was about to lay down anyway. so we halved it and broke it up n snorted it.
I was feeling the guilt the second i did it, and thought that if i just layed on mt bed then after watching the book of eli they did room checks at 11pm, so my friend that i did the suboxone with had to go take a piss test because his eyes were red or something. so i walked with my buddy up the hill and my dumb ass asked if i could take a drug test. (very fucking bad move).
My pride about passing the drug test was the only thing that i could think of. long story shot i couldn't pee, i keep drinking water, and the suboxone made me sick so i kept throwing it all back up. over and over and over again. my buddy pissd automatically and he did the same amount of suboxone i did. so almost 3 hours later i still couldn't pee and the night watch just told me to go to bed. I told him that he has nothing to worry about, im still going to pee for him in the morning,

i feel like shit now, both physically and mentally. :(
 
You know, it is okay to medd up sometimes.
Just don't let it help you to fall back into a negative pattern.
Whatever comes of the piss test, there is nothing you can do to take back the past-
You CAN change how you will be in the future- focus on that and learn from your mistakes......
Keep your head up D's-
 
Don't beat yourself up, brother.
You may want to reconsider the value of your 'buddy'. If he knew you are trying to get your shit together but offered anyway, he may very well be a prick
 
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