Today is Sunday, May 30th, 2010 and it is now 829 AM here in the South China Sea, en route to Luzon (Manila), from Cebu (Cebu City).
To recall my last pitfall...I was still trying to wrest the truth Jackie, my lover. She had kept many secrets from me, not least of which was a 3rd child who is only 11 months old. We were still on a ferry, travelling from Nasapit/Butuan (Mindanao) to Cebu (Cebu City).
Rachamim: "Jackie, your sister told me that you ran away because you owed money to everybody you know. She says that you borrowed 38,000 Pesos (roughly 650 US) from MBAI (Philippine Army Bank), pawned Mohammed's (pseudonym of her "husband") ATM*, borrowed 3000 Pesos (67 US) from a neighbour against Mohammed's Army Bonus, and a bunch of other things. How much of this is true, and please don't think of lying to me again because I will have it looked into."
Jackie: "Its a lie!!! I swear, that is a lie!"
R: "You have no reason to lie to me now, tell me the truth because I am telling you now, when we land? I am calling my attorney and have your entire background investigated. I am telling you to your face, and as I told you, as long as you are honest to me I will not abandon you in the street but the moment I find you have lied again, you will never see my face for the rest of your life."
NOTE:* In the Philippines, banking is slightly different than in the US. For one thing, no FDIC insurance (for non-Americans: This is Federal insurance for your holdings, up to 100,000 US per account). There are no wire transfers except for 4 banks in Manila, and ATM accounts are used for payment in maany, even most jobs (in a lot of areas). Thus, pawning an "ATM" means giving over all your payroll ATM account info to a creditor to secure a loan.
Jackie's sister accused her of doing this to Mohammed's army pay account, ergo leaving him totally broke. This is compounded in severity because of 3 very young children.
Rachamim: "Tell me the truth, I know you were in despserate need of money. That is a fact. Though you did not allow me to help you, you must have found it somewhere, where did you get the money Jackie?"
Jackie: "If you talk to my sister again tell her she will have to worry about HER debts now. Jackie is not around to go crazy trying to help her!"
R: "Ahhhhhhhhh....Now I see...
J: "WHAT???"
R: "You DID borrow from everyone but it was only to help your sister, right?"
J: "In truth no, MBAI cannot give out loans to anyone but the actual soldier, not his dependants. As for pawning an ATM, I would not even know how to do it."
R: "What about the 3000 Pesos from your neighbour?"
J: "NO!!! I used to borrow from my dad on the 15th, when he gets his army pension, or else from my 2 elder brothers, especially the older of the 2." Mostly though, I borrowed to help my sister who could never make ends meet."
R: "And of course it was hard because you, Mohammed and the kids were sharing her house."
J: "I only moved in with her after my younger brother broke my window.*"
NOTE: This "younger brother" is the methamphetamine addict who broke a jalousie window, stole Jackie's PC, DVD player and some cash.
Jackie: "My sister knows this!!! She knows I have my own house!"
Rachamim: "You do? So why then did you admit that you shared her house earlier when I first confronted you?"
J: "Look! For one thing, I WAS SHARING HER HOME, only it was AFTER my brother robbed me and left my house in shambles! Secondly, it is true that when you thought you visited my house it was my friend's house but only because I was scared of what would happen if anyone saw us on that level!"
NOTE: Now what was scary for me? I was beginning to think this girl is making sense. I know that the mind is suceptible when we are emotionally vulnerable, to make rationalisations, excuses for the errant behavior of people we have inveted time, effort and emotion into. Therefore I was trying to stay objective as possible and fully play the devil's advocate.
Of course this wasn't too difficult to do since she did after all, have a "mystery baby."
Rachamim: "Yet Mohammed lived with you in your sister's home..."
Jackie: "NO! She knows this also! He lived at camp!"
NOTE: "Camp" is used for anything from a division base to an FOB (Forward Operations Base, Fire Camp)
Jackie: "Sometimes he would come but could never sleep over because I didn't allow it. My whole family knew this, for many months and it is why I ended up running away. They condemened me because I ended the marriage. I wouldn't let him touch me!
Even on Valentine's Day! He came to my house, he tried to get physical and we got into a big argument that caused even neighbours to come over. Everyone criticised me saying, 'Jackie, why are you wearing black. Your husband is here to see you and you're arguing? You should be having romantic time for the 2 of you'. I was so angry.
I kicked everyone out angrily, Mohammed left and went back to camp. It was the night you and I did cam to cam (on IM). You IMd with me all night Raki, all night, you know I was alone. I was alone and if I am not alone it is with you, just like Noche Buena (Xmas Eve) and New Years Eve! I have been yours and only yours!"
R: "Uh, yes, mine and Ibrahim's (her infant son's pseudonym)."
NOTE: This caused Jackie to break down in tears once again. By this time the sun was rising, meaning we were about 2 hours off of Cebu. I had to figure out a game plan, and fast. I was not going to be able to do so as long as I stayed in that emotional pressure cooker so I told her once again, I am going for a short walk, and had her promise me once again that she would not hurt herself.
Finally she promised and I walked to the litle cafe that they have, selling Ramen noodles and the nasty candy that is sold in the Philippines. Not as bad as Japan, Taiwan or China, the sweets still suck, trust me.
I walked around the deck for a good hour, but these ferries aren't that big. They are ocean going ships, but small just the same. The sun was up completely as I made my way back to the room, not knowing really what to expect.
With the shore of Mactan Island (a small island off of Cebu City, part of the metro area and historically, the island where Megallan got his white ass killed), coming into view as I opened the cabin...
(To be continued)
To recall my last pitfall...I was still trying to wrest the truth Jackie, my lover. She had kept many secrets from me, not least of which was a 3rd child who is only 11 months old. We were still on a ferry, travelling from Nasapit/Butuan (Mindanao) to Cebu (Cebu City).
Rachamim: "Jackie, your sister told me that you ran away because you owed money to everybody you know. She says that you borrowed 38,000 Pesos (roughly 650 US) from MBAI (Philippine Army Bank), pawned Mohammed's (pseudonym of her "husband") ATM*, borrowed 3000 Pesos (67 US) from a neighbour against Mohammed's Army Bonus, and a bunch of other things. How much of this is true, and please don't think of lying to me again because I will have it looked into."
Jackie: "Its a lie!!! I swear, that is a lie!"
R: "You have no reason to lie to me now, tell me the truth because I am telling you now, when we land? I am calling my attorney and have your entire background investigated. I am telling you to your face, and as I told you, as long as you are honest to me I will not abandon you in the street but the moment I find you have lied again, you will never see my face for the rest of your life."
NOTE:* In the Philippines, banking is slightly different than in the US. For one thing, no FDIC insurance (for non-Americans: This is Federal insurance for your holdings, up to 100,000 US per account). There are no wire transfers except for 4 banks in Manila, and ATM accounts are used for payment in maany, even most jobs (in a lot of areas). Thus, pawning an "ATM" means giving over all your payroll ATM account info to a creditor to secure a loan.
Jackie's sister accused her of doing this to Mohammed's army pay account, ergo leaving him totally broke. This is compounded in severity because of 3 very young children.
Rachamim: "Tell me the truth, I know you were in despserate need of money. That is a fact. Though you did not allow me to help you, you must have found it somewhere, where did you get the money Jackie?"
Jackie: "If you talk to my sister again tell her she will have to worry about HER debts now. Jackie is not around to go crazy trying to help her!"
R: "Ahhhhhhhhh....Now I see...
J: "WHAT???"
R: "You DID borrow from everyone but it was only to help your sister, right?"
J: "In truth no, MBAI cannot give out loans to anyone but the actual soldier, not his dependants. As for pawning an ATM, I would not even know how to do it."
R: "What about the 3000 Pesos from your neighbour?"
J: "NO!!! I used to borrow from my dad on the 15th, when he gets his army pension, or else from my 2 elder brothers, especially the older of the 2." Mostly though, I borrowed to help my sister who could never make ends meet."
R: "And of course it was hard because you, Mohammed and the kids were sharing her house."
J: "I only moved in with her after my younger brother broke my window.*"
NOTE: This "younger brother" is the methamphetamine addict who broke a jalousie window, stole Jackie's PC, DVD player and some cash.
Jackie: "My sister knows this!!! She knows I have my own house!"
Rachamim: "You do? So why then did you admit that you shared her house earlier when I first confronted you?"
J: "Look! For one thing, I WAS SHARING HER HOME, only it was AFTER my brother robbed me and left my house in shambles! Secondly, it is true that when you thought you visited my house it was my friend's house but only because I was scared of what would happen if anyone saw us on that level!"
NOTE: Now what was scary for me? I was beginning to think this girl is making sense. I know that the mind is suceptible when we are emotionally vulnerable, to make rationalisations, excuses for the errant behavior of people we have inveted time, effort and emotion into. Therefore I was trying to stay objective as possible and fully play the devil's advocate.
Of course this wasn't too difficult to do since she did after all, have a "mystery baby."
Rachamim: "Yet Mohammed lived with you in your sister's home..."
Jackie: "NO! She knows this also! He lived at camp!"
NOTE: "Camp" is used for anything from a division base to an FOB (Forward Operations Base, Fire Camp)
Jackie: "Sometimes he would come but could never sleep over because I didn't allow it. My whole family knew this, for many months and it is why I ended up running away. They condemened me because I ended the marriage. I wouldn't let him touch me!
Even on Valentine's Day! He came to my house, he tried to get physical and we got into a big argument that caused even neighbours to come over. Everyone criticised me saying, 'Jackie, why are you wearing black. Your husband is here to see you and you're arguing? You should be having romantic time for the 2 of you'. I was so angry.
I kicked everyone out angrily, Mohammed left and went back to camp. It was the night you and I did cam to cam (on IM). You IMd with me all night Raki, all night, you know I was alone. I was alone and if I am not alone it is with you, just like Noche Buena (Xmas Eve) and New Years Eve! I have been yours and only yours!"
R: "Uh, yes, mine and Ibrahim's (her infant son's pseudonym)."
NOTE: This caused Jackie to break down in tears once again. By this time the sun was rising, meaning we were about 2 hours off of Cebu. I had to figure out a game plan, and fast. I was not going to be able to do so as long as I stayed in that emotional pressure cooker so I told her once again, I am going for a short walk, and had her promise me once again that she would not hurt herself.
Finally she promised and I walked to the litle cafe that they have, selling Ramen noodles and the nasty candy that is sold in the Philippines. Not as bad as Japan, Taiwan or China, the sweets still suck, trust me.
I walked around the deck for a good hour, but these ferries aren't that big. They are ocean going ships, but small just the same. The sun was up completely as I made my way back to the room, not knowing really what to expect.
With the shore of Mactan Island (a small island off of Cebu City, part of the metro area and historically, the island where Megallan got his white ass killed), coming into view as I opened the cabin...
(To be continued)
