As my readers will know I went to rehab in may to quit suboxone and heroin. I got out in June and promptly relapsed on heroin two hours after getting out of treatment. I then put together 3 weeks off heroin by moving to a rural area with no car. But I moved back here after 3 weeks and went on a 2 week long heroin all day everyday run. It was fucking awesome! Anyway once the money ran out I came clean to my mom and convinced her to pay for me to get back on suboxone. So as of last week I'm back on maintenance.
I have mixed feelings on one hand I'm bummed that I put myself through the torture of a near cold turkey rehab withdrawal for nothing. That really was the closest to hell that I ever want to get. I was miserable and I made everyone around me there miserable. My first time in rehab was kind of fun I to my dick wet met some cool people ect. But not this time I was kicking way too hard for way too long to even give a shit what people thought. Everyone there hated me as I was super negative the whole time. Not that I didn't have good reason to be cause I was in hell and they refused to help me.
After I got out I knew I was going to relapse as I still felt like death. There is no way I can deal with the crazy withdrawal I felt even after a full month. It was very intense back pain,insomnia,coldness,agitation,depression. It was like the mental part of the acute withdrawal never went away and the physical part only lessened in intensity. I guess 5 years on sub is close to a life sentence for maintenance. Now that I'm back on sub I feel better physically. And I'm not craving heroin as badly as I was before. Now I'm mainly just bored.
Anyway rehab sucks I will never be talked into going back ever....again.....
I have mixed feelings on one hand I'm bummed that I put myself through the torture of a near cold turkey rehab withdrawal for nothing. That really was the closest to hell that I ever want to get. I was miserable and I made everyone around me there miserable. My first time in rehab was kind of fun I to my dick wet met some cool people ect. But not this time I was kicking way too hard for way too long to even give a shit what people thought. Everyone there hated me as I was super negative the whole time. Not that I didn't have good reason to be cause I was in hell and they refused to help me.
After I got out I knew I was going to relapse as I still felt like death. There is no way I can deal with the crazy withdrawal I felt even after a full month. It was very intense back pain,insomnia,coldness,agitation,depression. It was like the mental part of the acute withdrawal never went away and the physical part only lessened in intensity. I guess 5 years on sub is close to a life sentence for maintenance. Now that I'm back on sub I feel better physically. And I'm not craving heroin as badly as I was before. Now I'm mainly just bored.
Anyway rehab sucks I will never be talked into going back ever....again.....
