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Review this poem plz.

187coopa

Bluelighter
Joined
May 26, 2009
Messages
423
Ok so im feeling a lil mushy today and wrote a poem for the girl im seeing. havent wrote a poem for someone in a long time lol. granted its not really a poem of certain form imo.

Whats ur guys opinion of it? too cheesy to lame to retarded?
anywho here it goes.

From one life to the next.
Two strangers will meet.
Some say its chance, destiny, or even Aphrodite guiding these two lovers to a limitless fate.
For one gaze into each others eyes reveal they are bound to entwine, collide, radiate an indescribable love so deep.
For when these two lovers meet any and all boundaries are shattered.
What they experience is not of the physical sense.
It is a revelation of the mind and body.
So pure is the experience of two souls becoming as one.
It exceeds all love stories ever told.
Not even Cleopatra and Mark Antony hold a flame to passion I carry, For my Nia, My queen, My beautiful stranger.
 
I don't see anything wrong with it at all.
Ms. P (Papaverium) knows more about poetry than me though, hopefully she'll chime in.

I don't see how it can be lame or cheesy if that's how you feel.
Express yourself.

-HOOD
 
Something from the heart is always pleasing. Your girl should be pleased. I always had the desire to express my feelings this way and I believe it was always well taken.
 
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