Scared Returning to work tomorrow and so scared.

[Kara7490]

I'm not sure if this belongs here, but I've been out of work since 12/4 with a bizarre is it covid/it's not covid/oh it's def covid now/actually no it isn't - ahhhh driving me crazy. Every symptom. Now the new suspect is some weird histamine intolerance or mast cell something. Anyways, the thing is, the last 2ish weeks I've felt okay, other than an occasional low grade fever and BAD hypertension (think 165/115) that comes and goes. I feel so guilty saying this, aside from that blood pressure scariness, it was nice to just sit around in bed, waste time on my computer, enjoy my christmas decorated apartment, etc. Oh and pajamas. Flannel sheets. Fuzzy throw pillows. It felt like a vacation - minus the whole, what the fuck is wrong with my heart deal. Now, I'm supposed to start work tomorrow. High blood pressure and all. I'm terrified because work stresses me out, I borderline hate it, if I get a hypertensive episode, and it goes even higher, that's scary as fuck. I had a few good days of good blood pressures, therefore I was cleared to work. Tonight, another high bp reading. I'm just so scared. But this month off was also alllll unpaid leave. Which, thank goodness, was far more manageable than anticipated. Anyways, I'm sitting here, I'll start getting ready for work in 2 and half hours, so why bother sleeping? Ughhhh I am SO dreading this. ='(

 

[Ds]

Well you guys had a good run, now it's time to go back to adulting. Maybe think positive, like countdown until the next weekend, or plan to request a paid-off day to make the weekend longer. Just tell yourself only 8(or 12) hours left until I can go home.
I try to plan some activities around the house, so when I get home I will be able to already have a idea on how I plan on using my 6ish or so hours before I have to sleep and get ready for work.

 

[deficiT]

I too dread going in to work most of the time. I'm trying to work on that and still find some bit of peace in my workday.

Meditating has been a good tool to center myself and bring some contentment into my head. It's said alot but it is quite helpful and the benefits are instant.