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Returning to the social scene

Black Rabbit of Inle

Black Rabbit of Inle

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Sep 13, 2008
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With the holidays upon me I have an influx of invites to various private parties and social lunches. The problem is I haven't seen these some of these people in 5+ years and I don't leave the house anymore unless absolutely necessary.

I would like to attend and get myself out of my hermit rut, but I don't know how to relate to people anymore. Most of my friends who I do see (albeit very rarely) are drug users like me and they know all my dirty laundry. These others are people who I was friends with when my life was together. I'm not the same person I was and feel that I may end up becoming so socially withdrawn and anxious while I'm out that I have to leave.

How do you guys deal with getting back into social settings?
 
I deal with this a lot, honestly just fake your personality. Ask questions that you don't want to ask or really care for, act engaged in their convos. Just make it seem like you care instead of over analyzing and stuff because you don't really fit in with what their saying. It's better to fake it than fail in the convos imo, i do it a lot. Its sad
 
similar people get along, i think if you're into relatively heavy drug use you won't "fit in" with people who don't use, and maybe just drink, you will be very self concious, and the people who you are with will likely stereotype/label you as a drug user.

When your social and/or professional life are negatively impacted on by drugs it's best to evaluate your situation, maybe do a pros and cons list of how drugs affect you or something, that could be a start.
 
if you take other people's perceptions of you out of the equation, are these people you care about/genuinely like? If no, i would probably just not go. But if they are, my best advice is to just go purely out of the likingness of these people. If this is where you're coming from, it always comes through through the authenticity of your interactions, no matter how socially inept you feel. If you spend the whole time focused on yourself and how you feel all fuckered up, it's a waste of being with people, IMHO. Same goes for if you're focused on how wonderful you are and how everyone must be noticing your greatness. Narcissism and self-loathing share this common thread - both miss the point of what being with people is all about.

(This coming from a word-class social-phobe, haha. But I'm working on it ;) )

Good luck to you, though. Really hope it works out...
 
I have cut right back on my drug use and can relate to these people online, the only task is seeing them in person again.

I'm forcing myself to go, just waiting on a train out there now. Wish me luck.
 
Good luck!

For future scenarios: if I'm trying to avoid getting fucked up I mostly do all I can to forgo events where people are partaking. In the case of heroin use, I don't go for any reason. Luckily, people are usually covert about that one, and I'm not likely to walk smack into the smack. If I've not been out in a while and I have a social itch, or it's a special occasion, or my presence is absolutely required for whatever reason I do two things: 1) bring someone I can count on w/ me. Meaning someone who isn't going to get fucked up; someone who I can rely on to keep me entertained through the evening and to whom I can jolt over to to escape crummy/awkward conversations. 2) And this is essential: have an escape plan. This is simple for me b/c I have a car, and if I'm not getting fucked up I sure as shit don't need to worry about a DD or when I can leave. If I get uncomfortable and think I'm gonna do something stupid (get disgracefully drunk, or make a call for some hard drugs) I just dash outta there w/o saying byes to anyone. This kinda stuff leads to me fucking up hard. I've come to realize since I've stopped my hard drinking/drugging that I don't suffer fools and vapid conversation well. Parties often have at least a few fools, and fools or no fools, there is always the prospect of spirit-crushing small talk. Don't get caught in a monotonous storm of BLAH. Have your keys ready and your car parked close by, or a friend who will for all purposes air lift you the fuck outta there, if and when things go south.

If I have these two safeguards in proper order I'm usually relaxed, that way if the party is good and the people are great I can enjoy them, even if I end up staying to the dim hours and barely talk to the person whom I brought along.
 
I hope you end up having a good time. Sometimes the anticipation is worse than the actual experience. <3
 
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