Remembered why I need methadone ..

[john24]

The first night getting it back, I truly couldn't comprehend why I was so crazy for this drug in the first place...since there's truly no high with it. (or at-least not noticeable initially)

But then I slowly remember and notice the effects from before....how I always get a good night's sleep...how my pain is completely gone....how I seem to have a low grade feeling of feel-good most of the day... (without any high / low effects) I think that's the biggest one for me, to be honest. I totally dytched Dilaudid for Methadone...i'll NEVER go back on D, because the highs / lows of being on it for years...I can no longer mentally tolerate. Methadone just straightens me out beautifully...and i'm so thankful for this.

thoughts / feelings on the subject ?

if you guys look at my post history, I had a horrible M withdrawal over a month ago....that almost sent me to the ER. (worse than dilaudid withdrawal) I've got a new doc now, and hopefully will never have to withdrawal off of this again.

 

[hangyourhead]

I miss methadone/MMT a lot of the time, but I'd rather have the freedoms of buprenorphine maintenance. I just prefer full-agonists being a full-agonist dependent addict. MMT does wonders for my IV heroin cravings, considering the warmth and sedation m'done is known for. I couldn't bear to go thru MMT WD's ever again, it was far too long and intense at that. I was so suicidal and drinking liquor and eating benzo's like there was no tomorrow.

 

[mostly-human]

Yeah - long acting 'maintenance' opioids like Methadone/Bupe are great.. Especially after a few days/weeks on a stable dose, taken at the same time each day. You really do eliminate that up/down cycle of the shorting acting drugs. I do find they really lull me into a false sense of security though; like after a long enough time I start to associate how I feel on maintenance as being 'sober'. And it's really not. You finally kick that shit and then it's all anxiety and depression, lethargy and achy muscles and you realise you weren't even fucking close to sobriety; you were just consistently inebriated - allowing you to completely adapt.

Don't get me wrong, maintenance drugs are a fucking god-send. But, you have to be careful because they really aren't the same thing as learning to live sober.