recovery is kicking my ass

[theartofwar]

So this is longest I've been without opiates in awhile - and now I am really crashing. No energy, my workouts have dropped, and I am much more introverted. I noticed this starting a couple days ago and told my sponsor this. I cannot believe how badly my PTSD has been surpressed by heroin over the years and now I am terrified of it. Seeing a specialist but it's only been a little over a week and I'm such a instant grat junkie that I am losing it. Honestly I am already feeling so depressed and I just want to stay clean , I think I just want to voice this stuff and I can't even explain i all. Looping auditory halucinations and this ringing noise during anxiety attacks (so my BP is def spiking) my chest gets so fuckin tight and I am just fucking depressed. Thanks for letting me vent :/

 

[gomorrah]

Hey bud, I know exactly where you are. I am living in a halfway house in Lubbock, Texas, I was in treatment from January through March. It was terrible bro, I wanted to leave so bad, and if I wasn't in treatment I would have gone back out. Get a GOOD sponsor, I'd advise treatment. Things are going very well for me and I am the real deal drug addict.

 

[theartofwar]

thx bro, i got a good sponsor - she has nothing to lose she's terminal ill and still has an amazing approach to life / doesn't use. I am so fucking used to running around 24/7 to keep my rager of a habit up now i need around the clock support / things to keep occupied. I can't tell you how much i lucked out there - im spending the next 3 nights at my best friends , his wifei s awesome and has let me crash there just to get me out of my house but also in a safe environment.. right now it just feels overwhelming. I hope specialists can help me address some of this because the PTSD symptoms are brutally raw after being comfy numb for oohh so many years .

 

[Captain.Heroin]

The fact you still want to stay off of heroin means a lot. You have the will power, and you are courageous enough to keep going - it'll just take time to make it through this.

I wouldn't worry about slacking on exercise because you know what? You are already exercising enough. Just get back to lifting when you feel ready for it.

Cardiovascular and muscular exercise can help improve your mood a lot, I know it does for me, but if you don't feel up for it, there's no sense in pushing yourself through it. I know you must be exercising some though as I know you and I am sure you've already done some lifting for the day.

In order to try to lower your blood pressure, try to eat plenty of potassium (bananas, sweet potatoes, orange juice, raisins, peas, and regular potatoes are a great place to start), take deep and steady breaths (but don't hyperventilate), limit your sodium intake, and enjoy some dark chocolate.

Finally, aldosterone can increase your blood pressure by increasing blood volume. Eating enough potassium and avoiding sodium helps counteract this.

Other than this, keep listening to relaxing music. If you need really relaxing, enjoyable music, I have a lot of ambient music.