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Bluelighter
It was a typical Friday night...
I went on a long bike ride in the afternoon, just at peace riding solo, curving through the winding wooded path. The sun stats to sink in the western sky and I take my cue to return home. The ordinary evening goes as follows...
Money
drink, drink, drink
random girls hit
just let it bounce off me
3 to choose from
River party
powder... insufflated
drink, drunk
5 am, cant sleep
discuss widespread panic tour
decide I will see The Dead tomorrow, today
7am forced sleep
Can hear fucking
wake to a beautiful day (2 hours later)
Its been years since I have seen any pieced together version of the Grateful Dead, and I am completely hyped. I grab cashish, fruit, change of clothes and hop in the back sit. Where I am met with a blue bullet that shoots powder in my nose (why am I dong this). Stock up on beer (cheap domestic) this is Bud country and the followers are heavy.
Get to the lot, perfect. I need a ticket, score. The circus is in town. pounding beers I am getting my 3rd wind, I decide to help my friend sell beer so he has enough money to make it back to Telluride. I proceed to have a blast for the next 3 hours slanging budweiser. I am geeked off the cocaine lady, as I make up ramblings on why you should purchase beer from me. I false advertise using a Bud bottle, but we are selling cans. Many take the bait. Hook, line, and sinker. I try to cater to the girls age 20 and up, as to make my day a little more interesting. Soon I have a girl selling my friends beer for me and continuously reloading the bowl and I the bullet.
When I am on lady cocaine, I am not myself. I let down my little guarded wall that I always have up. Speaking of which, last night this girl that I could have my way with if I snapped my fingers (sounds bad) told me that I am so confident, I laugh in her face. Look how I am sitting legs crossed arms folded, I tell her I am hardly confident. Shit I have to take drugs to even function, I rarely ever go after a chick I want. I wait for them to come to me, ok enough rambling about my self-consciousness.
I am completely content in the moment, laughing, smoking, snorting, drinking. I sell 2 for 1's only to underagers (get um drunk). I stroll down the carnival like atmosphere, thinking to myself how much I miss touring with bands. Some young 20 yr old kid whispers in my ear as I pass him "Pharmies, Opiates" I stop him and inquire as to what wares he is slanging. Oxycontin, I laugh and go on my marry way. Not 2 mins. later another young kid, quietly says "opiates", again I stop. Heroin marked up twice its price. I sit down and genuinely think about picking up a bag or 2 or 3. Quickly I disregard that fleeting glimpse of bliss, as my eyes glance up to meet the gaze of a beautiful hippy girl. She asks if there is something she can do for me, I just smile and shake me head. Nobody has to think to much out here, most people just have a wide grin and sparkling eyes.
Some of the eyes say, I want, give me, others just make me wonder. Sweat is dripping off me it is a warm day. Gradually the throngs of people start there walk towards the gates. I jokingly decide Ill try to trade my last water for weed, some people laugh as do I. Not ten minutes later I have a nice green nuggets sparkling in my palm. Did you say your name was Ramble on Rose?
One of my buddies, asks me whats my poison tonite, I shrug. He slides me a mushroom chocolate and smiles. I thank him and we pass the bullet back and forth and pound beers like maniacs. I feel the gritty mushrooms glide across my teeth and down my throat. I tell him Ill meet him in there and look at the sky, should be a wonderful evening I think to myself.
Wander in, hop the turnstile, and pop down on the floor. I listen to Bob dylan skreetch out lyrics about the South Side of Chi-town. I strike up a conversation with some hippy guy sitting next to me (partially because of the think stinky smell of his marijuana, partially because I am bored waiting for the dead to start). The conversation gradually lulls and next thing I know I am taking a small piece of blotter in my mouth. I already feel the mushrooms rushing through my body and I pull my hood up. Shield myself from the glances of strangers.
The band comes out ripping loud, the music forces me to dance. I feel perfect. Great day, great fun... I watch this lady in her early 40's dance like a ballerina obviously way way out of her gourd. I stumble deeper into the crowd, past the hippy girls spinning in circles there strange dresses leaving trails spinning in my mind, past the natty dread heads puffing and shaking there head with disgust that the bands not up to par. I settle in and start puffing a joint of sweetness. Oh yea that did the trick, visuals are kicking, I am ready for the show. I get lost in the music, laughing to myself, the clouds look like something I cant even begin to describe. A set of 3 great looking girls bum a cigarette from me smiling wide. Not a problem as they pass a neat glass chillum my way. They start to twirl and gyrate to the music my vision is drifting off into frames as the girls break out spinning glow stick thingies, they probably are as ripped as I am. Such beautiful girls here, I wish I could take them all home. I even see a young girl dressed up as a nurse drifting through the crowd. I try to concentrate on the music but the spacey jams drift me away. The nurse is making her way up to me and I get nervous for no reason. I saw her look at me a few rows up and I bet my bottom dollar she will stop. Sure enough, introduces herself as Emily short hipped out nurses uniform wearing pigtails. She asks if she can check my heartbeat, I nod, not knowing what else to do. She puts her ear on my chest and probably can hear my heart beat that is altered from the lsd and mushrooms thumping loudly. She looks me in the eyes and smiles slyly and says "you'll be fine" and spins off. What the fuck was that I laugh out loud.
"Just like Jack and Jill"
"Momma told the jailor"
"One heat up and One cool down"
"Do yourself a favor"
The set break is upon us, and I am truly wasted. People walk by leaving negative images 3 deep, colors are everywhere, shit even the ground is breathing with life. I put my sunglasses on and think of that one song "I wear my sunglasses at night" and begin my journey to the washrooms, which I wont bore you with.
My jaw is literally stuck open, I am drooling at the visuals that are presenting themselves before my eyes. I can barely talk as I run into my friend who is near the same position as I. We both just grin and light up a smoke. I notice many people strewn about the floor obviously someone had one to many mushrooms, I thank God that isn't me. The music is great, I truly miss The Dead, cryptical...
Lightning flashes over head, and a loud Thunder clap follows and the crowd erupts into a roar.
"If the Lightning don't getcha, than the Thunder will"
"The Wheel is spinning and I cant slow down"
The band sums it up acurately...
I feel more than perfect my body is just getting rush after rush of loving pounding energy and I can hardly believe the grandeur my eyes are feasting on. I scramble up to the grandstand to watch the encore and park myself next to a cute hippy girl that somehow doesn't get dizzy from spinning in circles... Thick bellows of smoke cloud my view of the stage as beams of purple light shine through and enter my vision they seam to burn through the haze as my smile seems to be frozen in time.
As the band says there farewells, I slip away into the shadows. Out the door my feet hit the lot, I hear somebody saying "hey you" a few times, I don't look back, never look back, I laugh. I am drawn out of my thoughts by a tapping on my shoulder, its the girl I watched the encore with. She introduces herself as "Jewels" rightly named, this girl is smoking.
"Some people trust in reason"
"Others trust in Light (changed)"
"I don't trust in nothing"
"But I know it will come out all right"
"A man is just a man" (shorten)
"Some people look for answers, others look for fights"
"Others stuck in treetops looking for there kites (hook-ups pipes)"
"I can tell your future"
"But I am just playing in the Band"
We make crude conversation as I am googled from my drugs as is she, Jewels asks if I want to puff some goodies, uh why of course. We make a B-line to her parking area. Smoke our selves silly and shoot the shit, I can barely make eye contact sober let alone when I shouldn't even be in public. This girl keeps on looking in my eyes, what does she want from me? Slowly she gets closer and closer next thing I know her plump lips are planted and tounges (sp?) wiggle freely and hands grope. I break away, this is just to much I laugh to myself. I ask where her friends are and she mumbles "out there" and follows that up with is something wrong? Not a thing Jewels not a fucking thing. She rummages in her car and comes back out with 2 gel caps, MDA she says as she places it on her tongue and swallow another one on her tounge (sp?) and jams it into my throat. We move from her blanket into the backseat of her Jeep Cherokee, I don't know how but next thing I know I am getting a blow job. Man o man what did I do to deserve this. I get lost in the visuals I am getting from her blonde hair as I watch it bounce up and down. Truly heaven...
"Sleep in the Stars"
We break the embrace as she looks up at me smiling wiping her lip. Oh boy is all I can say. She laughs and I do to we erupt into giggles and decide to go walk around and see if we can find my friends. Instead we find pizza bread, I start to feel the first waves of the MDA starting. Why did I take that? Oh yea a hot ass young girl made me do it...
"Naw maw I ain't been drinkin"
I run into my friends finally and introduce them, they give me smiling grins and mouth the words "what the fuck", if I only knew. We smoke again, Jewels invites me to hit the rest of the tour with her and her friends. I am so close to saying yes, the only thing holding me back is my damn opiate addiction. Pathetic this time my wrath of addiction makes me wither in defeat, I only brought enough medicine for 2 days, am I stupid or what??? I curse my luck and back out of her offer kindly. She gives me her information and seals the deal with another kiss.
I stumble away from my friends pissed about my addiction holding me back, I quickly tell myself not to dwell on the fact, I have MDA cursing through my body pounding to try and let itself free...
We hang around and party, the air is so thick with humidity and the moon is shining bright. I notice the street lamps shining there beams through the thick air which seems to break them apart and shoot them in different directions. For a split moment I am transported back to a similar night in London, I have to shake my head and sigh.
The car ride home is a good one as we all tell our stories to each other as we glide down the highway to the homefront. As I settle into my bed and pull my comforter up to my eyes, I think to myself where would I be if I left with that girl, shoulda, woulda, coulda's, hop scotch through my head as I drift numbly off to dreamland.
"Spanish lady comes to me, she lays on me this rose"
"Rainbows spiral 'round and 'round, trembles than explodes"
"She left a smoking crater in my mind, I like to' blown away"
"The heat come 'round and busted me for smiling on a cloudy day"
"Coming around..."
I went on a long bike ride in the afternoon, just at peace riding solo, curving through the winding wooded path. The sun stats to sink in the western sky and I take my cue to return home. The ordinary evening goes as follows...
Money
drink, drink, drink
random girls hit
just let it bounce off me
3 to choose from
River party
powder... insufflated
drink, drunk
5 am, cant sleep
discuss widespread panic tour
decide I will see The Dead tomorrow, today
7am forced sleep
Can hear fucking
wake to a beautiful day (2 hours later)
Its been years since I have seen any pieced together version of the Grateful Dead, and I am completely hyped. I grab cashish, fruit, change of clothes and hop in the back sit. Where I am met with a blue bullet that shoots powder in my nose (why am I dong this). Stock up on beer (cheap domestic) this is Bud country and the followers are heavy.
Get to the lot, perfect. I need a ticket, score. The circus is in town. pounding beers I am getting my 3rd wind, I decide to help my friend sell beer so he has enough money to make it back to Telluride. I proceed to have a blast for the next 3 hours slanging budweiser. I am geeked off the cocaine lady, as I make up ramblings on why you should purchase beer from me. I false advertise using a Bud bottle, but we are selling cans. Many take the bait. Hook, line, and sinker. I try to cater to the girls age 20 and up, as to make my day a little more interesting. Soon I have a girl selling my friends beer for me and continuously reloading the bowl and I the bullet.
When I am on lady cocaine, I am not myself. I let down my little guarded wall that I always have up. Speaking of which, last night this girl that I could have my way with if I snapped my fingers (sounds bad) told me that I am so confident, I laugh in her face. Look how I am sitting legs crossed arms folded, I tell her I am hardly confident. Shit I have to take drugs to even function, I rarely ever go after a chick I want. I wait for them to come to me, ok enough rambling about my self-consciousness.
I am completely content in the moment, laughing, smoking, snorting, drinking. I sell 2 for 1's only to underagers (get um drunk). I stroll down the carnival like atmosphere, thinking to myself how much I miss touring with bands. Some young 20 yr old kid whispers in my ear as I pass him "Pharmies, Opiates" I stop him and inquire as to what wares he is slanging. Oxycontin, I laugh and go on my marry way. Not 2 mins. later another young kid, quietly says "opiates", again I stop. Heroin marked up twice its price. I sit down and genuinely think about picking up a bag or 2 or 3. Quickly I disregard that fleeting glimpse of bliss, as my eyes glance up to meet the gaze of a beautiful hippy girl. She asks if there is something she can do for me, I just smile and shake me head. Nobody has to think to much out here, most people just have a wide grin and sparkling eyes.
Some of the eyes say, I want, give me, others just make me wonder. Sweat is dripping off me it is a warm day. Gradually the throngs of people start there walk towards the gates. I jokingly decide Ill try to trade my last water for weed, some people laugh as do I. Not ten minutes later I have a nice green nuggets sparkling in my palm. Did you say your name was Ramble on Rose?
One of my buddies, asks me whats my poison tonite, I shrug. He slides me a mushroom chocolate and smiles. I thank him and we pass the bullet back and forth and pound beers like maniacs. I feel the gritty mushrooms glide across my teeth and down my throat. I tell him Ill meet him in there and look at the sky, should be a wonderful evening I think to myself.
Wander in, hop the turnstile, and pop down on the floor. I listen to Bob dylan skreetch out lyrics about the South Side of Chi-town. I strike up a conversation with some hippy guy sitting next to me (partially because of the think stinky smell of his marijuana, partially because I am bored waiting for the dead to start). The conversation gradually lulls and next thing I know I am taking a small piece of blotter in my mouth. I already feel the mushrooms rushing through my body and I pull my hood up. Shield myself from the glances of strangers.
The band comes out ripping loud, the music forces me to dance. I feel perfect. Great day, great fun... I watch this lady in her early 40's dance like a ballerina obviously way way out of her gourd. I stumble deeper into the crowd, past the hippy girls spinning in circles there strange dresses leaving trails spinning in my mind, past the natty dread heads puffing and shaking there head with disgust that the bands not up to par. I settle in and start puffing a joint of sweetness. Oh yea that did the trick, visuals are kicking, I am ready for the show. I get lost in the music, laughing to myself, the clouds look like something I cant even begin to describe. A set of 3 great looking girls bum a cigarette from me smiling wide. Not a problem as they pass a neat glass chillum my way. They start to twirl and gyrate to the music my vision is drifting off into frames as the girls break out spinning glow stick thingies, they probably are as ripped as I am. Such beautiful girls here, I wish I could take them all home. I even see a young girl dressed up as a nurse drifting through the crowd. I try to concentrate on the music but the spacey jams drift me away. The nurse is making her way up to me and I get nervous for no reason. I saw her look at me a few rows up and I bet my bottom dollar she will stop. Sure enough, introduces herself as Emily short hipped out nurses uniform wearing pigtails. She asks if she can check my heartbeat, I nod, not knowing what else to do. She puts her ear on my chest and probably can hear my heart beat that is altered from the lsd and mushrooms thumping loudly. She looks me in the eyes and smiles slyly and says "you'll be fine" and spins off. What the fuck was that I laugh out loud.
"Just like Jack and Jill"
"Momma told the jailor"
"One heat up and One cool down"
"Do yourself a favor"
The set break is upon us, and I am truly wasted. People walk by leaving negative images 3 deep, colors are everywhere, shit even the ground is breathing with life. I put my sunglasses on and think of that one song "I wear my sunglasses at night" and begin my journey to the washrooms, which I wont bore you with.
My jaw is literally stuck open, I am drooling at the visuals that are presenting themselves before my eyes. I can barely talk as I run into my friend who is near the same position as I. We both just grin and light up a smoke. I notice many people strewn about the floor obviously someone had one to many mushrooms, I thank God that isn't me. The music is great, I truly miss The Dead, cryptical...
Lightning flashes over head, and a loud Thunder clap follows and the crowd erupts into a roar.
"If the Lightning don't getcha, than the Thunder will"
"The Wheel is spinning and I cant slow down"
The band sums it up acurately...
I feel more than perfect my body is just getting rush after rush of loving pounding energy and I can hardly believe the grandeur my eyes are feasting on. I scramble up to the grandstand to watch the encore and park myself next to a cute hippy girl that somehow doesn't get dizzy from spinning in circles... Thick bellows of smoke cloud my view of the stage as beams of purple light shine through and enter my vision they seam to burn through the haze as my smile seems to be frozen in time.
As the band says there farewells, I slip away into the shadows. Out the door my feet hit the lot, I hear somebody saying "hey you" a few times, I don't look back, never look back, I laugh. I am drawn out of my thoughts by a tapping on my shoulder, its the girl I watched the encore with. She introduces herself as "Jewels" rightly named, this girl is smoking.
"Some people trust in reason"
"Others trust in Light (changed)"
"I don't trust in nothing"
"But I know it will come out all right"
"A man is just a man" (shorten)
"Some people look for answers, others look for fights"
"Others stuck in treetops looking for there kites (hook-ups pipes)"
"I can tell your future"
"But I am just playing in the Band"
We make crude conversation as I am googled from my drugs as is she, Jewels asks if I want to puff some goodies, uh why of course. We make a B-line to her parking area. Smoke our selves silly and shoot the shit, I can barely make eye contact sober let alone when I shouldn't even be in public. This girl keeps on looking in my eyes, what does she want from me? Slowly she gets closer and closer next thing I know her plump lips are planted and tounges (sp?) wiggle freely and hands grope. I break away, this is just to much I laugh to myself. I ask where her friends are and she mumbles "out there" and follows that up with is something wrong? Not a thing Jewels not a fucking thing. She rummages in her car and comes back out with 2 gel caps, MDA she says as she places it on her tongue and swallow another one on her tounge (sp?) and jams it into my throat. We move from her blanket into the backseat of her Jeep Cherokee, I don't know how but next thing I know I am getting a blow job. Man o man what did I do to deserve this. I get lost in the visuals I am getting from her blonde hair as I watch it bounce up and down. Truly heaven...
"Sleep in the Stars"
We break the embrace as she looks up at me smiling wiping her lip. Oh boy is all I can say. She laughs and I do to we erupt into giggles and decide to go walk around and see if we can find my friends. Instead we find pizza bread, I start to feel the first waves of the MDA starting. Why did I take that? Oh yea a hot ass young girl made me do it...
"Naw maw I ain't been drinkin"
I run into my friends finally and introduce them, they give me smiling grins and mouth the words "what the fuck", if I only knew. We smoke again, Jewels invites me to hit the rest of the tour with her and her friends. I am so close to saying yes, the only thing holding me back is my damn opiate addiction. Pathetic this time my wrath of addiction makes me wither in defeat, I only brought enough medicine for 2 days, am I stupid or what??? I curse my luck and back out of her offer kindly. She gives me her information and seals the deal with another kiss.
I stumble away from my friends pissed about my addiction holding me back, I quickly tell myself not to dwell on the fact, I have MDA cursing through my body pounding to try and let itself free...
We hang around and party, the air is so thick with humidity and the moon is shining bright. I notice the street lamps shining there beams through the thick air which seems to break them apart and shoot them in different directions. For a split moment I am transported back to a similar night in London, I have to shake my head and sigh.
The car ride home is a good one as we all tell our stories to each other as we glide down the highway to the homefront. As I settle into my bed and pull my comforter up to my eyes, I think to myself where would I be if I left with that girl, shoulda, woulda, coulda's, hop scotch through my head as I drift numbly off to dreamland.
"Spanish lady comes to me, she lays on me this rose"
"Rainbows spiral 'round and 'round, trembles than explodes"
"She left a smoking crater in my mind, I like to' blown away"
"The heat come 'round and busted me for smiling on a cloudy day"
"Coming around..."
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