Really feeling down

[totach]

Hi bluelight quick summary of my self i have been doing heroin for 9 years straight since im 17 im 26 now also was addicted to xanax got mandated to drug court in january and have been clean since.

Evreything was going really well the last 8 months i was in a program that really sucked but i had no choice. I was very lucky to have a beautiful amazing g/f stick by myside for the last 4 years up untill a week ago.

2 months ago she went on vacation with some friends and when she came back she told me she wants to be single and have fun cuz shes still young shes 22

I dont understand where that came from cuz we were deeply inlove right before she left on that trip.

I canot say i was good to her those 4 years alot of the times i even doubted to myself that i even loved her but as soon as i got clean i realised how she is evreything to me and no woman in the world would ever be more beautiful or special to me.

So now its been a week since the breakup n im really hurt and sad and i duno what to do i cant handle all these feelings right now.

I complete the program in a week and go home and i feel i have nothing to look foreward to i feel so loney.

Atleast 8 months ago when i used to get high this breakup would be a walk in the park but now i duno wut to do i really cant stand how i feel i think bout her from the second i open my eyes to the second i go to sleep ive lost 10 pounds in the last week and thats not good i worked hard for 8 months to get my body back and now im loosing it.

I dont even want to get high cuz i know how bad i will feel once the high is gone but at the same time i just want these feelings to go away im not ready to face them right now.

Anyways thanx for letting me vent alittle n if anyone has some advice for me id really appreciate it ty

 

[mrflowers00]

she wasn't right for you (or she'll come back one or the other)

 

[Pagey]

I'm sure your main instinct right now must be to go back to drugs so it's really great you know to stop yourself regarding that - do continue, remember the drugs will only solve things temporarily and then make everything and all your feelings a thousand times worse. It will be very tough at the beginning of course, but there will be other women in your life - take this opportunity to really focus on yourself, whether it be your physical appearance, or your interests, just do things for yourself that will make you feel better and more confident, it'll help you get over her faster and seeing as you are now clean it seems like the perfect moment to do it. Just hang in there, it'll get better eventually. Remember you're probably at your lowest point regarding the break-up right now so it can only get better, you'll be feeling better with every second that passes.

 

[herbavore]

It is totally natural to think about someone that has broken up with you to the point of obsession for quite a while. You are dealing with one of the absolute worst blows life can dish out right when you are finishing rehab? That is really tough. It sounds like intellectually you know exactly why using would be a very sorry solution to taking away the feelings but I would be prepared for some pretty strong cravings. Get support lined up as much as you can. The two things that I would suggest that would help the most are heavy exercise and Mindfulness. The other thing that I would suggest is going to sound counter-intuitive but it works wonders: smiling and laughing. Both of those actually release dopamine when you do them. So don't rule out watching a lot of comedy as a diversion, it's more healing than you think!

Learning to feel the difficult emotions and just let them be until they dissipate is a skill that takes lots of practice but it also keeps getting easier and easier the more you practice it. I recommend Pema Chodron's book, When Things Fall Apart. It has helped me through some pretty hard stuff.

Good luck and Congratulations on quitting!

 

[purrpilll]

Getting high gnna make worse.You just got clean you should focus on you. I know what its like bein dissed right as i'm gettin clean.