Ready to give up... Anxiety mood swings

ShAYZoN

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 8, 2009
Messages
676
Location
G.T.L. My Life Is Bro!!
I want to start off by letting you know about my drug abuse. I abused ecstasy alot And smoked alot of pot I've done Mushrooms,Salvia,DMT ect . . . I ha a wretches panic attack one night after taking 60mg XR adderall and 3 bombs I thought I wA going to die that night anwAys now I have what I think is general anxiety.

I get random panic attacks which seems to get much worse like I couldn't fall asleep tell 3-4 in the morning, During the night time also things get way trippy. I random get nausiated almost like I'm coming up on mushrooms.. the anxiety at night seemed to start happening alot more often after one night of drinking about a little less then half a 5th of Canadian LTD.

I've notice theniane/suntheniane it does a world of difference! Thing is I don't wanna keep pivot like this PleASe someone give me advice on what to so life isn't worth it right now I'm scared to do anything oh and b the way I don't so drugs anymore been atleast 40+ days sober if I use I automatically get bad bad ba panic attacks.

I just don't know what to do anymore I also have this sorta pareinoad thing where if I leave my bottle of water or bump a cig from someone I think they might drug it or something idk it's lame advice?

-ShayZoN
 
See a doctor. Get something prescribed for your anxiety and do therapy.
I take a low dose of xanax every few days or so (as needed) and it's done me WONDERS.
Learn to meditate. Slow deep breathing. Distracting myself always helps when I have bad anxiety. Playing a fast card game with my boyfriend or running around kicking beach balls or whatever. Get whatever it is off your mind even if you can't figure out what the hell you're freaking out about. Cut down or stop the alcohol, if you notice anxiety getting worse after that.

I can get totally paranoid about things, but I'm bipolar and I guess that shit just happens? maybe not to everyone I don't know.. I just kinda got used to it so every time I think I'm being followed I tell myself "just because they've been driving behind me for 30 feet does NOT mean they're following me" or something like that. I try to think of what's rational even if I'm freaking out and the irrational is going through my mind.

But yeah hey, see a doctor if you can! They can definitely help you.
 
I had panic disorder for a good 5 years, it was speed induced but when I got on Lexapro the attacks stopped completely.
You can't keep going the way you're going if you're not seeing some sort of doctor. L-theanine will help a tad with anxiety but doesn't do shit for panic attacks and general paranoia.
If you want something that works a hundred times better than l-theanine get some kanna leaf, and read about it because it only takes 1gm for its natural ssris to have a strong effect on your mind.
Phenibut in doses of 500mg also rocks anxiety to the floor, but phenibut is extremely physically addictive so exercise with caution.

If you plan on getting either one of those herbs pm me otherwise you'll most likely get shit product from some supplier who is growing kanna in his backyard. Same with phenibut there is a new school version and an old school version, very few people still carry the old school version its 100% legal but message me if you need help finding it.

I still think you need to get on a med. Even though those herbs work overtime you'll just get addicted to phenibut and will have to start taking too much kanna. The slow acting ssris like Lexapro are much more stable, much more subtle, and last longer tolerancewise.

One last thing but passion flower is often compared to valium, I find it much more affective for sleep and anxiety than theanine could ever be. You'll quickly grow tolerant to l-theanine and around 5000-8000mg you will get gas so bad you'll feel like your stomachs gonna explode. I still think ultimately you should see a dr like PFR said.
 
Yeh I don't wanna prescribe myself narcotics because I'm so afraid of addiction benzos is something I've never done because I had a drug problem :( idk I have a trazadone if a really bad panic attack happens trazadone can be used for a anxiety issue right??
 
Shayzon I really think you need to see a doctor about this. There are a lot of treatment options for anxiety so you don't need to suffer with this anymore.
Have you got a doctor you see regularly? Have you ever spoken to anyone about your anxiety before?

The other thing you must do is obviously make sure you don't take any recreational substances because as you've found out it will just trigger a panic attack.

The good news is that you can treat your anxiety and you won't be like this forever.

Let us know how you go with your doctor <3
 
^^ Definitely not the only option.
But yes they are indeed 1 option.

Therapy usually provides more long-term relief/solution to the problem than just medication.
 
I'm afraid to even take Anti-anxiety medications that's how bad it is. I've never really have seen a doctor regularly to be honest.. To afraid of bad news I've already become so depresses and stressed out de-personalized dissociated from My own body it's freaking me ot
 
Once you take the first step to go and speak to a doctor it will become easier. Trust me, I've had to approach doctors about really soul-destroying things, and as you can imagine, calling to make the appointment and waiting in the waiting room are awful and nerve-wracking. BUT as soon as you're in that surgery and tell the doctor what's going on, an immediate weight will lift off your shoulders because you know you're on the path to overcoming this problem.

You can do this Shayzon <3
 
I'm having anxiety right now for some reason i can't help but feel like my step dad posioned me or something it's ridicules! I know it's not true but it's impossible to stop my self from just easily dismissing it! Little bit of shortness of breath rofl probably just super tiers to!
 
Try some breathing exercises, just try to relax, focus on breathing slowly and deeply. Maybe lie down and try to relax your body. I know it's hard but it can be done. Or maybe can you perhaps go for a walk outside to take your mind off things?
 
I'm afraid to even take Anti-anxiety medications that's how bad it is. I've never really have seen a doctor regularly to be honest.. To afraid of bad news I've already become so depresses and stressed out de-personalized dissociated from My own body it's freaking me ot

You should really be afraid to not take anti-anxiety meds. Living with anxiety alone is about a thousand times worse than taking some med to alleviate it.

I know how people can get with putting foreign substances into their body, and they don't trust what the meds are doing to them, but I've honestly never had anything but some sort of relief from meds. And I have an EXTREMELY addictive personality, I'm a drug addict, and I never got hooked on benzos.

I'm not saying that you won't, but they're nothing to be scared of. If you DO notice you're abusing them, its too easy to find something else to use like ssris.
But the point is you should see a dr and try SOME med. I've had meds make my anxiety worse before, but it was only once and was only Zoloft. As soon as I stopped taking it things got better. So if you're worried about that type of reaction don't. You're not always going to find something thats a miracle worker the first time you go to the dr, but theres just SO MANY different meds for anxiety that do all sorts of different things.
Even a measily beta blocker, they are nonaddictive, very safe, and block adrenaline in your body. It would biologically be impossible for you to have a panic attack on a high enough dose of a beta blocker. No racing heart, no sweating/shaking hands, no flush face, no trembling lips, beta blockers were a GODSEND for my anxiety and I still take them occasionally today. They are very simplistic meds that work on the core of what creates anxiety, adrenaline. In terms of having panic attacks, I personally can't see how you've been getting by w/out them. Beta blockers are very effective, don't effect your thoughts directly, but work directly on your body. The essentially make it impossible for your body to overreact to stimuli, which in turns keeps your mind from overreacting.

Do you have insurance? Do you not have insurance? Are you parents against meds? Is there anything else going on that we should know about? We can't really help you if you're holding back any details. Would it ACTUALLY be possible for you to see a doctor? Are the ideas we're suggesting things you could even see yourself doing? Its real simple to say "I can't go see a doctor" for w/e personal reasons, but its so important to understand the amount of relief you will get by going to one.
Thats what doctors are for. We can't be like "look here try this med", maybe your buddies on the street can get it. And look what you're already getting. Adderall and trazadone.
Adderall is TERRIBLE TERRIBLE TERRIBLE for anxiety. If you are actually having panic attacks, STOP TAKING ADDERRALL. Never take it again. You have no idea what you're doing to your adrenal receptors by taking that shit, its going to make you so damn sensitive to stimuli your heart is gonna race every time a door opens or closes.
Trazadone is mainly good for sleep, I definitely wouldn't recommend it for anxiety, and in all honesty its even overkill for sleep. Its very likely you'll feel even shittier the next day.
You need a list of things to consider talking to dr about.

You get panic attacks.
You have general anxiety a good deal of the time.
You have paranoid thoughts.
You've been dealing with them for x amount of time.
You are ALREADY self medicating.

Talk to him about what benzos do, ssris, and beta blockers. I'd try to get a beta blocker first for the panic attacks, and an ssri to work over them. I'd stay off with the benzos till later cause if you start taking too much at once than you have no idea which med is actually even working.

Let us know if its possible for you to actually see a dr. And if not we'd like to know the real excuses why? =] Please be as specific as you can. If you don't have insurance thats one thing, if you just don't wanna go thats completely different. But it helps to know what other forces you are battling besides just the anxiety.
 
I guess I am afraid to figure out exactly what's going on, like to face my anxiety issues and other stuff idk it's sort of confusing. I'm just so confused right now I have insurance (group health) I need to go to a doc. I guess just not sure how I wanna go about this.
 
I can totally understand the uncertainty you're feeling. Like I said I've been there myself. It can be very daunting to get help for something that has been debilitating us for so long but it's not impossible, you can do this man <3

Do you have a regular doctor you go to? You could start by making an appointment and talking about it with them, see what they suggest and take it from there.
 
No I don't have a normal doctor that I go to I've moved alot in my life... Mainly I guess I just don't wanna go and find out that I'm crazy and I don't have a disorde then I'll feel like a fool or get my hopes up and find out that I do have a slight problem but the medication cant be prescribe to me or getting withdrawals tapering and my anxiety getting even worse... :(
 
1) You're not crazy
2) Medication is not the only answer to your problem, so if the doctor doesn't immediately suggest medication that shouldn't dishearten you at all
3) You can't have withdrawals if you don't actually take the meds in the first place so don't worry about that just yet.

Like I said, the first step is to see a doctor and tell them what you're experiencing, see what they suggest and go from there. There are a lot of people right here in TDS who have been through this exact same situation and come out the other side perfectly fine,and much better than they were before. You've got a lot of support in here man, but you have to make the steps to get help for yourself <3
 
^^^As he said, medication is not the only answer. I was sent to a psychiatrist certain that I was going to be prescribing me medication for depression, and he told me I didn't need it that I should just continue with my psychotherapy.

Don't be too concerned about being given a "label". IMO the DSM which is used for diagnosis is questionnable, but it can be useful to have a label for a constellation of symptoms in order to know how to approach treatment. It doesn't necessarily there is something inherently wrong with you, you just might benefit from medication or therapy, that's it. Not a lifetime sentence, no need to take it on as an identity :)

Good luck, anxiety is brutal, you shouldn't have to suffer that much.
 
Anxiety is fucking brutal I have good weeks and bad weeks very fluctuated I also feel like I've got a lot it problems going on. . . I abused drugs recently haven't used anything for the past 35+ I did drank as I said recently above. Like I see lots of trailes random light streaks lots of tracers I fe dissociated from my body line you know what I mean restricted. I also finally have noticed my HPPD receding like visual static but there is still a lot of suit going on. I guess my pareinoa abbot people trying to poison me.
 
Do you have plans to get some help next week? It sounds like you're in so much distress, the sooner you see someone about this, the better <3
 
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