i am 23 years old and i have smoked weed since i was 16 years old. i started as a weekend smoker and told myself it would always stay this way but my parents were really the only thing that stopped me from smoking every day. i moved out a year ago and live together with a friend who is also quite fond of the green. together we have been smoking about 1-5 joints a day whenever we have weed. there will sometimes be breaks of about a week but when weed is availiable we will smoke it daily.
i smoke weed after i get my work done, most of the time anyways. after smoking up we usually play computer, sometimes we go longboarding. lately i have noticed that we sometimes just smoke and then go to our own rooms and chill by ourselves. weed has become the main focus, we dont just do it to make playing computer and longboarding more fun, we do it because we want to be high for the sole reason of being high. and this is where i draw the line. this is where addiction starts for me. i am no longer choosing to smoke weed to make stuff more fun, instead i "need" to smoke it. this is not what it should be like. this is an addiction and thats not what i want.
when i quit smoking cigarettes a year ago, i didnt really find it that difficult. but weed is different, weed is something i really love. when i say to myself that i will quit smoking weed i feel myself asking in the back of my mind "really? forever? but its so fun!". when i quit smoking i was thinking "oh its going to be so awesome to be a non-smoker". it was something to look forward to.
i want to quit smoking weed on the one hand, but on the other hand i dont. i can manage my life with weed, im doing ok. i still have friends, hobbies and i do ok at university. weed helps me relax and unwind and it gives me something to look forward to on a busy day.
i know it is critical to be fully convinced of quitting, otherwise it will not work. i tried to quit smoking cigarettes countless times without really wanting to and failed. the one time i was convinced by the idea of never smoking a cigarette again it worked and quitting was easy. i want to quit weed but i am not convinced by the idea of taking weed out of my life. even as im typing this right now, i am having doubts. and with that attitude it will only be too long before i will be at my dealers house picking up some weed to reward myself for studying.
oh and by the way, for me its not the first few days/weeks that are tough, im just through a 3 week break from smoking due to a vacation. its the long run thats difficult for me. not smoking for a month is hard but doable, as long i as i know that i can reward myself with weed afterwards.