DudeWheresMyErb
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2015
- Messages
- 5
Hello fellow bluelighters.
I'm an 18yo male who has done lsd, weed, codeine and a lot of potent herbal smokes (not the synthetic kind) which I make myself. I have depression and anxiety, it eats away at me most of the time and instead of medication, I like to get high to counteract my feelings and take away the pain. I feel anti depressants just make me more agitated and suicidal (sometimes), but that's a whole new other topic. So recently I've been experimenting with codeine and from what I've experienced, the high is great but however the comedown really sucks. I stopped codeine and now I just smoke my herbals and weed. I've been getting high throughout my teenage years and I had to stop as I smoked some really potent bud which I believe was laced with some kind of narcotic drug and being the inexperienced idiot I was, I smoked it like it was a cigarette and damn, it was one hell of a fatty. The high was great for the first 30 minutes and then everything slowed down i.e. my reaction time was slow as fuck, walking speed etc. I had to get back to school because lunch was over. Its a 10 minute walk from where I was but it took fucking 30. It was the first time I had a bad experience from weed. I had to go to hospital bc I was drifting in and out of consciousness. When I was sober, the doctor said I nearly went into a coma. From then on, I had drug induced psychosis. I was hearing voices and hallucinating scary visuals. My thoughts were extremely paranoid too. So turns out it got out of hand and I had to be sectioned in a youth mental institute. I was sectioned because one day I went to therapy and the voices were telling me they were out to get me..so I took a small kitchen knife stuffed in my sock with me. The knife somehow fell out and I had left it in the reception area. They were alerted and then sectioned me. I remained in the institute for 6 months. It was the worst 6 months of my life. You know that feeling of being trapped mentally? I felt like I was trapped physically and mentally. Outdoor access is limited. I once escaped tho while on access. They found and restrained me, shoving a needle up my ass crack to sedate me when I got back to the hospital. Ha that was real fun. Yeah so ever since I got out I was so depressed and my confidence was extremely low. This is when I was diagnosed with anxiety. I couldn't go to school because of it and it really really sucked because I didn't even sit my exams it was that bad. I left school with no qualifications. When I gradually got better, I started going to college and my aim was to get my gcse's but turns out you have to START OVER. That's wack and it still is, now I have to work my way up on levels etc. So I did a year in college and they didn't think I was going to pass English. I passed with distinctions (highest marks). Showed them, ignorant pricks. Now I'm doing my second year at college doing an IT Course and I am still not happy with it. Mainly bc the course is too easy and the people kinda suck. I made a friend tho.. that's good right? I have two exams (Maths and English) tomorrow and I'm skeptical I might not pass. But I've been hitting the books of course don't get me wrong.. But after a bong hit of some sweet ass weed. Lol, only way to calm my nerves to be honest.
Thanks for reading guys.
I'm an 18yo male who has done lsd, weed, codeine and a lot of potent herbal smokes (not the synthetic kind) which I make myself. I have depression and anxiety, it eats away at me most of the time and instead of medication, I like to get high to counteract my feelings and take away the pain. I feel anti depressants just make me more agitated and suicidal (sometimes), but that's a whole new other topic. So recently I've been experimenting with codeine and from what I've experienced, the high is great but however the comedown really sucks. I stopped codeine and now I just smoke my herbals and weed. I've been getting high throughout my teenage years and I had to stop as I smoked some really potent bud which I believe was laced with some kind of narcotic drug and being the inexperienced idiot I was, I smoked it like it was a cigarette and damn, it was one hell of a fatty. The high was great for the first 30 minutes and then everything slowed down i.e. my reaction time was slow as fuck, walking speed etc. I had to get back to school because lunch was over. Its a 10 minute walk from where I was but it took fucking 30. It was the first time I had a bad experience from weed. I had to go to hospital bc I was drifting in and out of consciousness. When I was sober, the doctor said I nearly went into a coma. From then on, I had drug induced psychosis. I was hearing voices and hallucinating scary visuals. My thoughts were extremely paranoid too. So turns out it got out of hand and I had to be sectioned in a youth mental institute. I was sectioned because one day I went to therapy and the voices were telling me they were out to get me..so I took a small kitchen knife stuffed in my sock with me. The knife somehow fell out and I had left it in the reception area. They were alerted and then sectioned me. I remained in the institute for 6 months. It was the worst 6 months of my life. You know that feeling of being trapped mentally? I felt like I was trapped physically and mentally. Outdoor access is limited. I once escaped tho while on access. They found and restrained me, shoving a needle up my ass crack to sedate me when I got back to the hospital. Ha that was real fun. Yeah so ever since I got out I was so depressed and my confidence was extremely low. This is when I was diagnosed with anxiety. I couldn't go to school because of it and it really really sucked because I didn't even sit my exams it was that bad. I left school with no qualifications. When I gradually got better, I started going to college and my aim was to get my gcse's but turns out you have to START OVER. That's wack and it still is, now I have to work my way up on levels etc. So I did a year in college and they didn't think I was going to pass English. I passed with distinctions (highest marks). Showed them, ignorant pricks. Now I'm doing my second year at college doing an IT Course and I am still not happy with it. Mainly bc the course is too easy and the people kinda suck. I made a friend tho.. that's good right? I have two exams (Maths and English) tomorrow and I'm skeptical I might not pass. But I've been hitting the books of course don't get me wrong.. But after a bong hit of some sweet ass weed. Lol, only way to calm my nerves to be honest.
Thanks for reading guys.
