Questions and opinions only from past or current alcoholics/heavy drinkers

[forbiddenlife5]

Hi, so lately i've been studying a lot about the effects of alcohol in comparison to other drugs i have tried, and i have realized that alcohol is truly indeed worse than a lot of other drugs if misused, even if you drink a few times a month. Needless to say, i have never drank more than every other weekend but sometimes when i do it's or 3-4 days in a row, and i have now started to notice some new side effets recently. I notice in the following weeks after drinking i sometimes get very realistic dreams that make me feel scared and anxious. I also feel more diaherrea and pain when i take a **** even though i don't even drink daily or anywhere close, and i get heartburn every now and than following weeks after i don't drink which makes it hard to believe some of these side effects are even from alcohol, but i can tell. Also i sometimes see things that are not their, and it can be intense such as in the dark i see traces of colors and shadows, sometimes it can be interesting. Anyways sorry for getting off topic, my two questions for alcoholics are

1) I heard almost every alcoholic has some sort of rectal bleeding multiple times throughout a day, does it hurt just as bad as i am imagining?

2) Have you or do you hallucinate when you are under the influence of alcohol, or when you are sober and what kind of hallucinations do you have?

3) MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION: Ok, so i think we know most celebrities have an alcohol problem along with a lot of business people, model, and high class people. Till this day i don't understand how can some rich people be drinking daily moderate to heavy everyday for years and still not complain about the major side effects from alcohol like the dt's, shakiness, anxiety, the physical pain, and the hallucinations, in other words how do they seem completely normal alot of the times and you can't even tell. Please anyone who can answer this with some details and honesty it would be greatly appreciated and help me to prevent an addiction in the future thanks.

 

[effie]

Hi there, welcome to BDD

I am not a current/former alcoholic I am afraid. I do have a couple of comments though, as I've studied the effects of alcohol as well, hope you don't mind

Hallucinations are commonest when withdrawing, during DTs especially. Unlike most psychiatric disorders, visual hallucinations often predominate. Colours/tracers sounds more like a HPPD-type syndrome - have you taken any psychedelic drugs lately?

Heartburn can most definitely be due to alcohol - it can irritate the stomach and the oesophagus. Diarrhoea is pretty common too. Oesophageal and rectal bleeds to happen - they are caused by liver cirrhosis causing a high pressure in the portal system (the blood vessels that transport nutrients and drugs from the digestive tract to the liver). This causes dilation of the veins at the oesophagus and liver (varices) which can bleed. Alcohol can also thin the blood, and cause internal gastri-intestinal bleeding from irritation. The bleed wouldn't actually be hugely painful (in theory at least?) but it can be life threatening.

DTs and withdrawals only happen if you stop drinking - so I would imagine a celebrity alcoholic would be okay as long as they didn't stop abruptly, and if they did then they did it in private. I would disagree that "most celebrities" have an alcohol problem though - a lot of people drink above the recommended safe limits, but to get DTs etc you need to be physically addicted to alcohol. Some are, no doubt, but not "most".. and for those who are, it is possible to be a functional addict for a while, although this tends to inevitably fall down at some point. I don't think it is a particular problem that tends to affect "rich" or "high class" people though..

I am actually going to move this to The Dark Side forum as I think you will get better responses there - it is the forum which handles addiction queries, including alcoholism. There is a "no triggering" rule there, unlike the rest of BL, which means no posts glorifying drug/alcohol use, or anything which could be triggering for someone who has quit - just to give you a heads up

BDD > TDS

 

[phactor]

I was a chemical dependent drinker, it did end up causing me some semi-serious problems. My use was compounded with depression.


1. I never once had anything like that. I think that would have to be some major long term abuse. I would imagine that comes from organ damage and cirrhosis. I have a relative that puked up blood while drinking, but this is with decades long of heavy drinking and pain pill abuse. Drinking can make some have loose stool as can anxiety.

2. I might have had very slight hallucinations when detoxing, but I was also very tired. I did feel a strong sense of dread which was unique. I have WD from opiates and never felt a sense of dread.

As for functioning alcoholics, there are tons of them. There are also lots of people who are working shit jobs because they are drinking. Being enabled plays a role, money (if you have enough money you do not run out of booze). I will say that eventually most of those big shots will fall, and when they do they fall hard.

I wonder how athletes can drink so much and then play. Alcohol is firmly embedded in sports like hockey and baseball where the season is a day in and out "grind". Of course plenty of them also develop problems because of the booze and drugs.

But yes, it all comes down to cash flow. This society is totally fucked up. Those same big shots are taking way to large of a piece of the pie. Leaving the crumbs for the rest of us. Where I live, anytime you go downtown you will see homeless... included among these guys are lots of transient gutter drunks. I am sure there are rich people that drink just as much, but they just happened to win the lottery of life.


Alcohol use can very much cause anxiety and anxiety can cause bad dreams. Binging for 3-4 days is at the very least as bad as having a smaller amount daily. You actually are putting yourself into withdrawal far more often. Is this anxiety new? If not, you need to take an honest look at yourself and see if you are self-medicating for the anxiety. I know I was. If you are using other drugs this can contribute. I got myself stuck in a cycle of poly-drug use that lasted 8 years. It sucked, but I also know it could have been way way way worse. That is the scary part.

Best of luck to you. If I were you I would cut back on the drinking and reduce the amounts if you are that concerned. Lots and lots of people drink to unhealthy levels. It is almost expected in Western Society.

 

[RedLeader]

(1) I got perpetual diarrhea when drinking heavily, but nothing as far as bleeding (can't say that about opiate-constipation...). Once I quit drinking, this problem went away.

(2) I have never hallucinated from alcohol alone. Sometimes, if I had been going heavy for days at a time, I would get blue/purple "specks" or "flickers" in my vision. That's about it. These went away after I quit drinking.

With regard to the celebrities, my guess is that a lot of them have access to a variety of drugs and cycle them about so as to avoid physical dependency. If I had access to unlimited money while I was drinking, I would have probably been using a lot of benzos and opiates to transition out of my drinking binges easier. And partying with club drugs instead of alcohol some nights. But the answer is that they do feel the same pains - they are people too - they just might be able to "act" live everything's okay.

 

[stardust.hero]

When I was drinking what I considered my heaviest I did have a lot of extended altered perception. Not what you would consider typical hallucinations. IE: hearing things that weren't there, strange colors, etc.)

Alcohol altered my entire being not just when I was on it but also the entire rest of the time in between my evening bottle. My vision had become blurred and appeared as if I had a grey veil over my entire field of vision. I had difficulty breathing throughout the day and felt as if my lungs were full of water and/or unable to fully inflate. My chest would become numb and tingly sporadically somewhat like a panic attack. At times I would feel as if I was blacking out and falling forward as if my brain was about to shut off. That was the most troubling problem because it wasn't a typical black out feeling where you feel light headed. Instead it felt like a mix between alcohol induced spins and falling forward. A very strange sensation to have. I also have extreme anxiety throughout the entire day and became a nasty person to my partner. I would abuse him physically and mentally and blame him for the anxiety and feeling of unsettledness.

I became mentally unstable and believed my problems which I were experiencing (breathing problems, chest numbness, feeling of falling out, greyed vision) were caused by outside factors. I started believing that my symptoms were caused by a black mold infestation inside my house and even went as far as to tell my family and also my boyfriend and his mother who we were living with that there was black mold in our house and that we had to immediately move out. I was very adamant about it and would insist daily that we had to leave because we were all dying. I bought mold spore test kits, called mold specialists to our house. I was convinced my mind had been taken over by black mold.

I would tell people the story about the salem witch trials and how they were fueled by a mold spore epidemic with ergot which caused people to hallucinate as the mold took over their brains. I was convinced. I told people at work the story and about how my house was infested with mold and about all of my symptoms and how I was dying. I'm sure they knew I was a quack before that but I'm sure the ergot and black mold story were the icing on the cake.

I did not believe that drinking an entire bottle of wine per night could be the reason I was having all of these problems. You become so trusting while in alcohols grasp that you believe your body understands alcohol and can handle it and that you and it are one.

 

[phactor]

(2) I have never hallucinated from alcohol alone. Sometimes, if I had been going heavy for days at a time, I would get blue/purple "specks" or "flickers" in my vision. That's about it. These went away after I quit drinking.

That sounds about right. The only thing I can think of in addition is that sometimes the edges of things would look "sharper"... The closest I can relate it too is when you smoke lots of weed when you first start smoking.

 

[captaincaveman]

Right I am a recovering alcoholic, I haven't drunk since 2010. I would have classed myself in the chronic category, I would drink vodka before, during and after work, foolishly thinking that it doesn't smell (sort of true but it comes out through your pores so people can smell it). The questions.
1. I have never had any rectal bleeding and as I say I was a chronic drinker, although I have heard people talk about it during AA meetings.
2. The hallucinations I have had come during the DTs. I had both audio and visual ones. I would see small black things scurrying around the floor and even on my skin, absolutely horrible. The audio ones tended to be a static like sound.
3. Interesting question. I held down an important job for a long time while I was heavily daily drinking (I work now and it's so much better!). Anyway, the thing you have to remember is that alcohol is a physically addictive drug. When you're an alcoholic, your body begins to need the alcohol to function. Therefore, as long as you keep topping up the level in your body, you won't get the DTs and will appear relatively normal. I suppose in that way it's like heroin addiction, after years of use, addicts aren't really getting high, just getting normal 'a fix'. I've been in rehab with celebrities (sadly one of which passed away last year due to her drinking) and also high profile business people. The thing is you think you're getting away with it but people do know. I once interviewed an American lawyer from a huge global firm who was drinking straight Jack throughout! He got the job done and I think his colleagues saw his drinking like a quirk of character.
Anyway, hope this helps. Just to say I've taken just about every type of substance imaginable but alcohol is the most destructive and dangerous one to be addicted to (IMO). You can get away with it for a while but it catches up with you eventually. As i'm sure you're aware alcohol is one drug where sudden cessation can be fatal. I suffered an alcohol withdrawal fit and its was completely horrendous