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  • Trip Reports Moderator: Cheshire_Kat

PTSD: LSD, DXM, MDMA, feds? & sexual assault

So I am having really bad symptoms now that I got a random message from her out of nowhere even though I haven't mentioned her name in over a year or talked to her:

"
Im starting to wonder if you're a good person at all. Harassing me and trying to sully my rep, after you accused me of being a CIA narc during an lsd so many times that my mind broke and I slipped into a state of survival..ok?? I was fucking SCARED! why else would I have implied i was a dea agent other than to get leverage in a action i might be in danger?

You have no right to tell people that I'm a white supremacist.
Cease and desist otherwise it may not be the best outcome for us all.
I'm pregnant and this baby is important.
Don't make a pregnant woman stressed. You also don't want to make em mad either.
I have so much love and forgiveness. But Joey. stop."


I have never accused her of being a white supremacist and I dont think she is one. I think she's a good person to be honest

My response to it is:
When @chaosbydesign r told.me she was a dea agent, the hours leading up to it were full of loving trusting sex and playful giggling. Then she said she was concerned about possibly being recorded and asked if we could take a shower and began crying and said she worked for the dea and wanted to quit. I hear she is pregnant and blessings to her but her story is utter bullsnit. I'm not saying she is dea but she was at the very least just fucking with my head. Even after she told me she was dea she tied me up and gave me a blowjob.
People keep saying I'm paranoid about the cia, even its been mentioned on police reports like the time I got anally peneteates by two men in police uniform.xxxxxxxx also claims i was worried about the cia. The only thi g I was a little paranoid about was the 2 grams of ketamine on the way. I dont think the cia or any government or anyone is out to get me. Should I?
Maybe she can tell her side.
 
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Like seriously fire her, give me a gag order and let's move on. Don't fucking torture me. Or she could have an open honest conversation with me and end this all over a signal call. Or a talk in the woods naked. Howeber she feels safe. I still love you as long as you didn't know I was going to get raped.
 
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@chaosbydesign Considering i just spoke with who I THINK you are (and no to have been the person who claimed to be dea) tonight via signal (and it didn't seem like the text I got meant anything to helping me resolve this) id just like a confirmation that your name does begin with a D and last name a A B or C and that someone isn't giving out a random bler account claiming yo be them
 
hey man. fellow ptsd sufferer. I am sorry about this. I believe you, FWIW, I have seen people in similarly effed situations. You are correct,
without evidence and a hostile PD, the likelihood of winning a case about this is slim. Howver, you still need to heal. I was burned in an apartment fire 3 years ago
and dealing with PTSD has been the most humbling experience of my life. Lot's of back and forth, lot's of unbearable times where even sound was painful/too shaky
to open a door or a pill bottle. It's been rough. Good counseling - CBT/EMDR has been an absolutely lifesaver. as has TMS therapy. that's what has helped me out,
I hope it is helpful for you as well (and that you can get it done).

It does get better with time. 1 year is really fresh. expect that to dial back as time passes. Please reach out for therapy.
 
Whats ducked up is I got raped again last week. This time completely unrelated and by a gangster drug dealer in the hood. Maybe he heard my story about getting raped around the fire and figured I'd be easy to take advantage of.

I start a 45 day in patient mental health program tomorrow.
 
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