Mental Health PTSD and benzo use

[awrt]

Living with PTSD sucks - a lot. I finally had the courage to tell my wife that I was sexually assaulted twice when I was 13. Nobody else in my family know what happened - I still feel sick and the thought of telling them.

I eventually realised last year after finally seeing a psychiatrist that I suffer from PTSD when all along I thought I just had straightforward depression and anxiety.

It also explains my absolute love affair with benzos. I can use all other drugs without too much issue. Drank too much when I was younger but now hangovers drive me insane so I have cut back a lot.But benzos are heaven for me - I forget about the trauma and that's when I finally have peace.

I am finally doing EMDR which has helped a bit so far but has also surged my cravings to take any benzo I can get my hands on to forget about the incidents. I really want to stop taking them - I have gone 3-4 months at a time before eventually diving back into regular use.

has anyone else struggled with similar things and had success.

thanks for listening/reading.

 

[Pissed_and_messed]

Yeah. PTSD, OCPD and benzos. No amount was enough to solve issues completely, not even for the duration of high, so I could not maintain intervals or staying on low doses. There was no moment where I had no need for benzo. So I ended up taking about 4 mg clonazepam/day before quitting. I haven't actually completely quit, even if I've had months off. I still take benzos sporadically, but situation ain't nowhere as bad as it was back then. Quitting year long daily habit was really fucked up.

It is hard road, no matter what medication you take or if you did not take medication. Pain is everywhere, solutions are scarce. But I am glad if you benefit of EDMR.

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

Yeah EMDR has a lot of hype these days for helping with trauma, very popular. Hope it works!

I loved benzos, but eventually they became less fun and maded me numb and kind of cynical, so I stopped them. I sometimes still crave them. It would be nice to have that buffer from one's environment.

If I didn't know of the research that says that they can be dangerous long-term, then I probably wouldn't have stopped. For me I just saw myself ten or 20 years in the future still taking them to just ward off withdrawal and have to make sure to fill just one more medication. Not my style. Been a few years, not out of the woods entirely, getting there.

For what it's worth, antidepressants really help my anxiety, more than benzos ime.