Mental Health psychosis episode - please help

[Giaa]

Posting in anonymous as I do not know where this should go.

[ For reference methamphetamine is nothing new for me, a relatively heavy user and have almost never been paranoid at all ]


So recently i had some time to kill. So i buckled in for what i thought would be good couple of days riding the ice dragon.


This was not the case.

After doing some research im certain that i was put into psychosis, having nearly every single symptom.


This is my entire experience, and again this or anything even close has never happened to me.

All starting about 4 ago...

Day 1 :

I rack up some lines, get going, and im feeling great.
At first everything is normal, i'm high as can be chilling listening to music.
A few hours go by and i begin to notice a strange feeling, almost like paranoia but not quite, but i just ignored it and tried to go with the good vibes.

Day 2 :

Still fairly amped but not as much as could be so i decide to redose.

This time around i dont get the initial rush of euphoria from snorting a line.
Another line and still nada. Tons of energy and ready for anything but, no actual euphoria.

A few hours later, and a couple more lines yet i feel the same still.
Still just lazing around not really doing anything then, the feelings of paranoia get noticeably stronger but again i kind of just ignore it.

Day 3 :

At this point i get very paranoid and can take it any more,
so i figure ill smoke some weed (for me this always ends the binge and ill fall asleep for day or so and wake up feeling fine)

So i smoke a few bowls and rather than getting stoned and passing out(as im used to) i get paranoid beyond belief.

I become disconnected from reality, having intense visual hallucinations, hearing voices and strange sounds,
and finally having a 'psychotic episode' putting me into a horrible state of fear. I could go into detail of the episode but maybe another time.

Somehow i manage to fall asleep.
Although, i did not wake up feeling fine as i had hoped.
I still feel sort of fuzzy and not all the way there.




Honestly i do not know what to do as drugs are extremely taboo where i am.


Should i stop all drug use entirely?
Will this psychosis( if this actually is psychosis ) go away once the drugs have more time to get out of my system?

Does anyone have more information on this or any thoughts on what should be done to get back to feeling normal?

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

It sounds as though you took way too much meth and are having a meth psychosis from your binge.

It's from the large amount of the meth you took. Take a break from all drugs including herb. Get some rest, force yourself to eat food and drink water, and whatever you do, don't take more meth. Stay safe.

 

[BAFFIM]

if there were ever anyone who could tell you about psychosis and amphetamine use, it would be me. i am not proud to say that i have done just about every imaginable drug that one could find in my life as of yet, and when i was abusing methamphetamine, life quickly went from obscene pleasure to a psychosis that demolished every bit of who i once was, and has left nothing of my former self. though currently not psychotic, i am cold, empty, in constant pain, scared, ever watchful for the voices and hallucinations that used to create in full living color the realities that i existed in, literally addicted to 9 extremely powerful psychiatric drugs to keep that fragile state what a psychiatrist would call a mending or mended mind; and i, a 30 something, highly intelligent, really attractive guy, am completely alone, and terrified to make anything but the most formal relationship with a girl or a boy that i find attractive, or do to anything that might be fun, or to engage in any social setting, or do anything but try and pass what time left of my life as quickly as possible as comfortably as possible, hiding, essentially, hiding in pain that psychosis burns into your soul where it scars it for your whole existence.

speed, no matter how you take it, is all the same. so fun and great at the start, such wonderful talkative pursuits, such brilliant discourses, such incredible exploits, such peaks of pleasure that surely could never be matched!, such stunning sexual conquests, such powerful orgasm, such a powerful psychomotor attachment to the correlation of paradise and the object precursor on a subliminal level. but in reality, it eats you from the inside out, and forever changes you; speed becomes your master. like no other drug that i have experienced, it hurts in ways that i can neither communicate, nor ever could have imagined. and the pain, yes the pain of that beloved psychosis induced stupor of amphetamine usage, forever sook by your subconscious, no matter what your resolve. controlling you years out from last usage, decades, your life. truthfully, you start down the path of speed, no matter what its form, and it is your master for your life, and there is no escape. especially the neural attachments to psychosexual reward and pleasure. formed in that bond of ecstatic orgasm that is a truth all speed users hide away behind in their closet.

since that time, i have spent a long time learning about psychosis, and just to keep it simple, and because this subject hurts me, i will tell you this... there is no text book guide to what is or is not psychosis. what quantifies or qualifies as legitimiate or induced parinoia, etc. but if you are suffering from psychosis, there are some tell tale signs that fall within the medical diction to watch out for.

feelings that an individual or group of people or beings are watching you; belief that you are superior to others, and or have special abilities or skills that others do not, belief that you engage in empathetic telepathy, or are telepathically communicated with by beings from hidden places, belief that you are being watched no matter where you are, what you are doing, in intimate detail; extreme sensitivity to this feeling of being observed when trying to accomplish daily ADL's such as showering, getting naked, going to the bathroom, etc, that produce vivid paranoia and make the traditionally private Activities of Daily Living that you are trying to achieve turn into absolute nightmares that you are living inside, trapped as if you are being tortured and forced to explain a lifetime of real or imagined insecurities that often leads to the psychosis turning audible.

then this progressive psychotic delusion begins to form more and more complex delusions as you "hear" and "interact" "with voices". for me it started as extremely technologically sophisticated, as i am a scientist and an engineer, with massive computer surveillance networks, listening devices, communications devices, everything being recorded and disseminated by the "paranoia"; the people who i could not put a finger on, but who were watching me and destroying me.

so many years of abuse, so many paths of psychosis. high IQ's and metal disorder, which often go hand in hand, do not mix well with substance abuse.

i was not all that of an idiot. i immediately stopped the usage of crystal meth that induced the hallucinations. but you have to remember that consumers of the mental health services club are a special bunch, and for me the damage was almost permanent. every coincidence was nothing but a full engineered assault on me. every encounter with another person a journey into the realm of such absurdity that i ended up unable to communicate with anyone after a span of years, my girl friends and boy friends had left me, my family had left me, my friends were illusions of hallucinations that were, to me, real and tangible. life became the halls of mental hospitals. the doctors just prescribed more and more medications as insanity took its toll on me, like back in the day when it all started i blew some sort of screw that was never able to be put back in place.

only in the last few years, and i'm talking about a 20 year voyage into the deepest realms of psychosis so convoluted, dark and exquisitely painful, and documented, has life begin to come together again. yet my skin still shivers at the horror of one of the simplest desires of humanity, to have an interpersonal relationship with another. because it causes me pain. a direct result of choosing to go down the road of psychosis.

i can't write this post, it hurts too much.

just listen. speed is speed is speed is speed. speed is adderall, is dexedrine, is dextrostat, is desoxyn, is ritalin, is cylert, is crank, is methamphetamine, is speed is speed. and when you get strung out on it to the point where you can no longer draw the line between what is real and what is not, you lose the ability to draw the line in your memories of what was real and what was not, and from there you take off from reality into an ever changing definition of existence that only you inhabit, and it consumes you, till there is nothing left. and it will consume you. i apologize. but this is text book.

speed, in any form, has the highest abuse potential of any drug class, and the highest relapse rate of all drugs. its different from other drugs, like heroin. it takes its time, it will wait in the shadows for years, patiently, silently, letting you think you've finally come back down to this reality and have started healing, then out of nowhere you have no control over your body and mind and are at the doctor getting a prescription, or sniffing a line of crystal, or injecting the meth, having taken no part in the planning and execution to get the drug, all of a sudden, it is there, and you are doing it; and the worst part, is you take off from that point into the darkest hell of where you left that psychosis however long ago, as if you never missed a beat.

if you read this, please, speed is not fun. stay away, far away. the DEA and the AMA publish information that shows that amphetamine use has the highest reoccurrence usage of any drug, and the highest relapse rate of any drug. period. and if you are addicted, enjoy the time you have in the real world when it comes around, because there is only one thing certian, that at some point, without you even knowing how, or when, or why, your subconsicous will set up a sceneraio where you leave this less painful, real reality, and fly off into your dystopia of psychotic illusion, and never look back, until, if you are lucky, an event premise will occur that will give you time amongst the living again, such as getting arrested and spending a few years sobering up in jail.

best of luck.

 

[cr33py]

I have to say, that reply was so well written and insightful that it should be a sticky. Thank you.

 

[realtalkloc]

if there were ever anyone who could tell you about psychosis and amphetamine use, it would be me. i am not proud to say that i have done just about every imaginable drug that one could find in my life as of yet, and when i was abusing methamphetamine, life quickly went from obscene pleasure to a psychosis that demolished every bit of who i once was, and has left nothing of my former self. though currently not psychotic, i am cold, empty, in constant pain, scared, ever watchful for the voices and hallucinations that used to create in full living color the realities that i existed in, literally addicted to 9 extremely powerful psychiatric drugs to keep that fragile state what a psychiatrist would call a mending or mended mind; and i, a 30 something, highly intelligent, really attractive guy, am completely alone, and terrified to make anything but the most formal relationship with a girl or a boy that i find attractive, or do to anything that might be fun, or to engage in any social setting, or do anything but try and pass what time left of my life as quickly as possible as comfortably as possible, hiding, essentially, hiding in pain that psychosis burns into your soul where it scars it for your whole existence.

speed, no matter how you take it, is all the same. so fun and great at the start, such wonderful talkative pursuits, such brilliant discourses, such incredible exploits, such peaks of pleasure that surely could never be matched!, such stunning sexual conquests, such powerful orgasm, such a powerful psychomotor attachment to the correlation of paradise and the object precursor on a subliminal level. but in reality, it eats you from the inside out, and forever changes you; speed becomes your master. like no other drug that i have experienced, it hurts in ways that i can neither communicate, nor ever could have imagined. and the pain, yes the pain of that beloved psychosis induced stupor of amphetamine usage, forever sook by your subconscious, no matter what your resolve. controlling you years out from last usage, decades, your life. truthfully, you start down the path of speed, no matter what its form, and it is your master for your life, and there is no escape. especially the neural attachments to psychosexual reward and pleasure. formed in that bond of ecstatic orgasm that is a truth all speed users hide away behind in their closet.

since that time, i have spent a long time learning about psychosis, and just to keep it simple, and because this subject hurts me, i will tell you this... there is no text book guide to what is or is not psychosis. what quantifies or qualifies as legitimiate or induced parinoia, etc. but if you are suffering from psychosis, there are some tell tale signs that fall within the medical diction to watch out for.

feelings that an individual or group of people or beings are watching you; belief that you are superior to others, and or have special abilities or skills that others do not, belief that you engage in empathetic telepathy, or are telepathically communicated with by beings from hidden places, belief that you are being watched no matter where you are, what you are doing, in intimate detail; extreme sensitivity to this feeling of being observed when trying to accomplish daily ADL's such as showering, getting naked, going to the bathroom, etc, that produce vivid paranoia and make the traditionally private Activities of Daily Living that you are trying to achieve turn into absolute nightmares that you are living inside, trapped as if you are being tortured and forced to explain a lifetime of real or imagined insecurities that often leads to the psychosis turning audible.

then this progressive psychotic delusion begins to form more and more complex delusions as you "hear" and "interact" "with voices". for me it started as extremely technologically sophisticated, as i am a scientist and an engineer, with massive computer surveillance networks, listening devices, communications devices, everything being recorded and disseminated by the "paranoia"; the people who i could not put a finger on, but who were watching me and destroying me.

so many years of abuse, so many paths of psychosis. high IQ's and metal disorder, which often go hand in hand, do not mix well with substance abuse.

i was not all that of an idiot. i immediately stopped the usage of crystal meth that induced the hallucinations. but you have to remember that consumers of the mental health services club are a special bunch, and for me the damage was almost permanent. every coincidence was nothing but a full engineered assault on me. every encounter with another person a journey into the realm of such absurdity that i ended up unable to communicate with anyone after a span of years, my girl friends and boy friends had left me, my family had left me, my friends were illusions of hallucinations that were, to me, real and tangible. life became the halls of mental hospitals. the doctors just prescribed more and more medications as insanity took its toll on me, like back in the day when it all started i blew some sort of screw that was never able to be put back in place.

only in the last few years, and i'm talking about a 20 year voyage into the deepest realms of psychosis so convoluted, dark and exquisitely painful, and documented, has life begin to come together again. yet my skin still shivers at the horror of one of the simplest desires of humanity, to have an interpersonal relationship with another. because it causes me pain. a direct result of choosing to go down the road of psychosis.

i can't write this post, it hurts too much.

just listen. speed is speed is speed is speed. speed is adderall, is dexedrine, is dextrostat, is desoxyn, is ritalin, is cylert, is crank, is methamphetamine, is speed is speed. and when you get strung out on it to the point where you can no longer draw the line between what is real and what is not, you lose the ability to draw the line in your memories of what was real and what was not, and from there you take off from reality into an ever changing definition of existence that only you inhabit, and it consumes you, till there is nothing left. and it will consume you. i apologize. but this is text book.

speed, in any form, has the highest abuse potential of any drug class, and the highest relapse rate of all drugs. its different from other drugs, like heroin. it takes its time, it will wait in the shadows for years, patiently, silently, letting you think you've finally come back down to this reality and have started healing, then out of nowhere you have no control over your body and mind and are at the doctor getting a prescription, or sniffing a line of crystal, or injecting the meth, having taken no part in the planning and execution to get the drug, all of a sudden, it is there, and you are doing it; and the worst part, is you take off from that point into the darkest hell of where you left that psychosis however long ago, as if you never missed a beat.

if you read this, please, speed is not fun. stay away, far away. the DEA and the AMA publish information that shows that amphetamine use has the highest reoccurrence usage of any drug, and the highest relapse rate of any drug. period. and if you are addicted, enjoy the time you have in the real world when it comes around, because there is only one thing certian, that at some point, without you even knowing how, or when, or why, your subconsicous will set up a sceneraio where you leave this less painful, real reality, and fly off into your dystopia of psychotic illusion, and never look back, until, if you are lucky, an event premise will occur that will give you time amongst the living again, such as getting arrested and spending a few years sobering up in jail.

best of luck.

Are you talking about neurotoxicity?

 

[Tazadeguate]

if there were ever anyone who could tell you about psychosis and amphetamine use, it would be me. i am not proud to say that i have done just about every imaginable drug that one could find in my life as of yet, and when i was abusing methamphetamine, life quickly went from obscene pleasure to a psychosis that demolished every bit of who i once was, and has left nothing of my former self. though currently not psychotic, i am cold, empty, in constant pain, scared, ever watchful for the voices and hallucinations that used to create in full living color the realities that i existed in, literally addicted to 9 extremely powerful psychiatric drugs to keep that fragile state what a psychiatrist would call a mending or mended mind; and i, a 30 something, highly intelligent, really attractive guy, am completely alone, and terrified to make anything but the most formal relationship with a girl or a boy that i find attractive, or do to anything that might be fun, or to engage in any social setting, or do anything but try and pass what time left of my life as quickly as possible as comfortably as possible, hiding, essentially, hiding in pain that psychosis burns into your soul where it scars it for your whole existence.

speed, no matter how you take it, is all the same. so fun and great at the start, such wonderful talkative pursuits, such brilliant discourses, such incredible exploits, such peaks of pleasure that surely could never be matched!, such stunning sexual conquests, such powerful orgasm, such a powerful psychomotor attachment to the correlation of paradise and the object precursor on a subliminal level. but in reality, it eats you from the inside out, and forever changes you; speed becomes your master. like no other drug that i have experienced, it hurts in ways that i can neither communicate, nor ever could have imagined. and the pain, yes the pain of that beloved psychosis induced stupor of amphetamine usage, forever sook by your subconscious, no matter what your resolve. controlling you years out from last usage, decades, your life. truthfully, you start down the path of speed, no matter what its form, and it is your master for your life, and there is no escape. especially the neural attachments to psychosexual reward and pleasure. formed in that bond of ecstatic orgasm that is a truth all speed users hide away behind in their closet.

since that time, i have spent a long time learning about psychosis, and just to keep it simple, and because this subject hurts me, i will tell you this... there is no text book guide to what is or is not psychosis. what quantifies or qualifies as legitimiate or induced parinoia, etc. but if you are suffering from psychosis, there are some tell tale signs that fall within the medical diction to watch out for.

feelings that an individual or group of people or beings are watching you; belief that you are superior to others, and or have special abilities or skills that others do not, belief that you engage in empathetic telepathy, or are telepathically communicated with by beings from hidden places, belief that you are being watched no matter where you are, what you are doing, in intimate detail; extreme sensitivity to this feeling of being observed when trying to accomplish daily ADL's such as showering, getting naked, going to the bathroom, etc, that produce vivid paranoia and make the traditionally private Activities of Daily Living that you are trying to achieve turn into absolute nightmares that you are living inside, trapped as if you are being tortured and forced to explain a lifetime of real or imagined insecurities that often leads to the psychosis turning audible.

then this progressive psychotic delusion begins to form more and more complex delusions as you "hear" and "interact" "with voices". for me it started as extremely technologically sophisticated, as i am a scientist and an engineer, with massive computer surveillance networks, listening devices, communications devices, everything being recorded and disseminated by the "paranoia"; the people who i could not put a finger on, but who were watching me and destroying me.

so many years of abuse, so many paths of psychosis. high IQ's and metal disorder, which often go hand in hand, do not mix well with substance abuse.

i was not all that of an idiot. i immediately stopped the usage of crystal meth that induced the hallucinations. but you have to remember that consumers of the mental health services club are a special bunch, and for me the damage was almost permanent. every coincidence was nothing but a full engineered assault on me. every encounter with another person a journey into the realm of such absurdity that i ended up unable to communicate with anyone after a span of years, my girl friends and boy friends had left me, my family had left me, my friends were illusions of hallucinations that were, to me, real and tangible. life became the halls of mental hospitals. the doctors just prescribed more and more medications as insanity took its toll on me, like back in the day when it all started i blew some sort of screw that was never able to be put back in place.

only in the last few years, and i'm talking about a 20 year voyage into the deepest realms of psychosis so convoluted, dark and exquisitely painful, and documented, has life begin to come together again. yet my skin still shivers at the horror of one of the simplest desires of humanity, to have an interpersonal relationship with another. because it causes me pain. a direct result of choosing to go down the road of psychosis.

i can't write this post, it hurts too much.

just listen. speed is speed is speed is speed. speed is adderall, is dexedrine, is dextrostat, is desoxyn, is ritalin, is cylert, is crank, is methamphetamine, is speed is speed. and when you get strung out on it to the point where you can no longer draw the line between what is real and what is not, you lose the ability to draw the line in your memories of what was real and what was not, and from there you take off from reality into an ever changing definition of existence that only you inhabit, and it consumes you, till there is nothing left. and it will consume you. i apologize. but this is text book.

speed, in any form, has the highest abuse potential of any drug class, and the highest relapse rate of all drugs. its different from other drugs, like heroin. it takes its time, it will wait in the shadows for years, patiently, silently, letting you think you've finally come back down to this reality and have started healing, then out of nowhere you have no control over your body and mind and are at the doctor getting a prescription, or sniffing a line of crystal, or injecting the meth, having taken no part in the planning and execution to get the drug, all of a sudden, it is there, and you are doing it; and the worst part, is you take off from that point into the darkest hell of where you left that psychosis however long ago, as if you never missed a beat.

if you read this, please, speed is not fun. stay away, far away. the DEA and the AMA publish information that shows that amphetamine use has the highest reoccurrence usage of any drug, and the highest relapse rate of any drug. period. and if you are addicted, enjoy the time you have in the real world when it comes around, because there is only one thing certian, that at some point, without you even knowing how, or when, or why, your subconsicous will set up a sceneraio where you leave this less painful, real reality, and fly off into your dystopia of psychotic illusion, and never look back, until, if you are lucky, an event premise will occur that will give you time amongst the living again, such as getting arrested and spending a few years sobering up in jail.

best of luck.

You described this so well I could relate to the first paragraph so much! How are you doing after all this time?

 

[greenlight204]

if there were ever anyone who could tell you about psychosis and amphetamine use, it would be me. i am not proud to say that i have done just about every imaginable drug that one could find in my life as of yet, and when i was abusing methamphetamine, life quickly went from obscene pleasure to a psychosis that demolished every bit of who i once was, and has left nothing of my former self. though currently not psychotic, i am cold, empty, in constant pain, scared, ever watchful for the voices and hallucinations that used to create in full living color the realities that i existed in, literally addicted to 9 extremely powerful psychiatric drugs to keep that fragile state what a psychiatrist would call a mending or mended mind; and i, a 30 something, highly intelligent, really attractive guy, am completely alone, and terrified to make anything but the most formal relationship with a girl or a boy that i find attractive, or do to anything that might be fun, or to engage in any social setting, or do anything but try and pass what time left of my life as quickly as possible as comfortably as possible, hiding, essentially, hiding in pain that psychosis burns into your soul where it scars it for your whole existence.

speed, no matter how you take it, is all the same. so fun and great at the start, such wonderful talkative pursuits, such brilliant discourses, such incredible exploits, such peaks of pleasure that surely could never be matched!, such stunning sexual conquests, such powerful orgasm, such a powerful psychomotor attachment to the correlation of paradise and the object precursor on a subliminal level. but in reality, it eats you from the inside out, and forever changes you; speed becomes your master. like no other drug that i have experienced, it hurts in ways that i can neither communicate, nor ever could have imagined. and the pain, yes the pain of that beloved psychosis induced stupor of amphetamine usage, forever sook by your subconscious, no matter what your resolve. controlling you years out from last usage, decades, your life. truthfully, you start down the path of speed, no matter what its form, and it is your master for your life, and there is no escape. especially the neural attachments to psychosexual reward and pleasure. formed in that bond of ecstatic orgasm that is a truth all speed users hide away behind in their closet.

since that time, i have spent a long time learning about psychosis, and just to keep it simple, and because this subject hurts me, i will tell you this... there is no text book guide to what is or is not psychosis. what quantifies or qualifies as legitimiate or induced parinoia, etc. but if you are suffering from psychosis, there are some tell tale signs that fall within the medical diction to watch out for.

feelings that an individual or group of people or beings are watching you; belief that you are superior to others, and or have special abilities or skills that others do not, belief that you engage in empathetic telepathy, or are telepathically communicated with by beings from hidden places, belief that you are being watched no matter where you are, what you are doing, in intimate detail; extreme sensitivity to this feeling of being observed when trying to accomplish daily ADL's such as showering, getting naked, going to the bathroom, etc, that produce vivid paranoia and make the traditionally private Activities of Daily Living that you are trying to achieve turn into absolute nightmares that you are living inside, trapped as if you are being tortured and forced to explain a lifetime of real or imagined insecurities that often leads to the psychosis turning audible.

then this progressive psychotic delusion begins to form more and more complex delusions as you "hear" and "interact" "with voices". for me it started as extremely technologically sophisticated, as i am a scientist and an engineer, with massive computer surveillance networks, listening devices, communications devices, everything being recorded and disseminated by the "paranoia"; the people who i could not put a finger on, but who were watching me and destroying me.

so many years of abuse, so many paths of psychosis. high IQ's and metal disorder, which often go hand in hand, do not mix well with substance abuse.

i was not all that of an idiot. i immediately stopped the usage of crystal meth that induced the hallucinations. but you have to remember that consumers of the mental health services club are a special bunch, and for me the damage was almost permanent. every coincidence was nothing but a full engineered assault on me. every encounter with another person a journey into the realm of such absurdity that i ended up unable to communicate with anyone after a span of years, my girl friends and boy friends had left me, my family had left me, my friends were illusions of hallucinations that were, to me, real and tangible. life became the halls of mental hospitals. the doctors just prescribed more and more medications as insanity took its toll on me, like back in the day when it all started i blew some sort of screw that was never able to be put back in place.

only in the last few years, and i'm talking about a 20 year voyage into the deepest realms of psychosis so convoluted, dark and exquisitely painful, and documented, has life begin to come together again. yet my skin still shivers at the horror of one of the simplest desires of humanity, to have an interpersonal relationship with another. because it causes me pain. a direct result of choosing to go down the road of psychosis.

i can't write this post, it hurts too much.

just listen. speed is speed is speed is speed. speed is adderall, is dexedrine, is dextrostat, is desoxyn, is ritalin, is cylert, is crank, is methamphetamine, is speed is speed. and when you get strung out on it to the point where you can no longer draw the line between what is real and what is not, you lose the ability to draw the line in your memories of what was real and what was not, and from there you take off from reality into an ever changing definition of existence that only you inhabit, and it consumes you, till there is nothing left. and it will consume you. i apologize. but this is text book.

speed, in any form, has the highest abuse potential of any drug class, and the highest relapse rate of all drugs. its different from other drugs, like heroin. it takes its time, it will wait in the shadows for years, patiently, silently, letting you think you've finally come back down to this reality and have started healing, then out of nowhere you have no control over your body and mind and are at the doctor getting a prescription, or sniffing a line of crystal, or injecting the meth, having taken no part in the planning and execution to get the drug, all of a sudden, it is there, and you are doing it; and the worst part, is you take off from that point into the darkest hell of where you left that psychosis however long ago, as if you never missed a beat.

if you read this, please, speed is not fun. stay away, far away. the DEA and the AMA publish information that shows that amphetamine use has the highest reoccurrence usage of any drug, and the highest relapse rate of any drug. period. and if you are addicted, enjoy the time you have in the real world when it comes around, because there is only one thing certian, that at some point, without you even knowing how, or when, or why, your subconsicous will set up a sceneraio where you leave this less painful, real reality, and fly off into your dystopia of psychotic illusion, and never look back, until, if you are lucky, an event premise will occur that will give you time amongst the living again, such as getting arrested and spending a few years sobering up in jail.

best of luck.

I agree, this should be a sticky - well written and somberly eloquent.

I'm sorry to hear about all of this but do know recovery is possible. Seems like you are getting there. Best of luck to you mate, best wishes, I'm glad you're still in this world which is for a reason. Without reasonably doubt you can still live a totally fulfilling and beyond happy life in this existence.

 

[Eligiu]

From my experience, and from what was told to me by an addiction medicine specialist when I told him the amounts of meth I was using and that I saw the shadow people once after staying up for for days is this.

You will most likely always now get psychosis from meth, past a certain point. That point is different for each person. For me, if I overamp it's psychosis. If I stay up 2+ days, psychosis. It's one and done for me if I want to not have a bad time. It's not *awful* psychosis for me staying up 2 days - I hear music from heaters and fans and stuff like a radio. Day 3, it gets bit worse. I get agitated more.

Overamp Psychosis I see shadow people, bugs crawling everywhere and I cannot for the life of me do anything without a support worker redirecting me back to what I need to do (disability related workers). I've had workers have to prompt me for almost 4 hours to take a shower and that was the full shift, and then sit me down on the couch, put a bottle of juice in one hand, multiple bottles of water on the table in front of me, and yoghurt in the other hand with a spoon there and be like 'okay I need to leave but I'm going to watch you eat the yoghurt and drink the juice first' cause they tried that the whole session and I kept letting the everything go warm.

You are at a much, much increased risk of psychosis from drug use (meth, cocaine, weed etc) if you have a psychotic disorder of *any* kind. I have psychotic features with my bipolar.

So to answer your question, I would recommend not using drugs anymore. However, I do still use meth, but I am able to heavily moderate my use, with a lot of therapeutic help.

On the contrary, I have been told by my psychiatrist that for me personally, smoking weed is actually far far worse than meth due to the fact that I reported while meth gave me psychosis generally on day 2-3+, and that's actually a combination of the drug and sleep deprivation, weed will immediately make me very psychotic within minutes, every time. It is horrible. And, I have not touched it since basically when covid started for that reason. It just isn't worth it, I get no benefit from it, only discomfort and awful experiences.

However that is for *me*. I am not in any way suggesting that meth is better than weed, that is patently absurd. I am saying because of the effect weed has on me specifically, versus the effect of meth, if I use weed then that same day within 10 minutes I will be hiding in the corner, hearing people whispering and yelling my name in my ear who aren't there, doors in my house opening and closing, footsteps down the hall and waiting outside my bedroom door, pacing, the windows shaking, and I will be perpetually getting up when I feel brave enough to go and frantically check my door is locked and closing all the blinds. In fact, the psychosis generally kicked in as I walked home from the part up the road, and I would think any car that passed the driver would stare me down knowing I was high and every other pedestrian knew too, and were following me home. I would start running down the road in desperation.

With meth, as much as I actually don't like it, it still serves a purpose for the sake of my current life situation every once in a while and so long as I don't indulge more than one day at a time, and from now on I'm hoping to stop IVing as my veins are collapsing, I do not have that same experience.

Additionally if my weed Psychosis happens to by chance not reach that level I'll surf YouTube and go into rabbit holes and come out a 5g conspiracy theorist and frankly it's fucking embarrassing lol. So yeah. I don't touch it. And I had to come to terms with that.

So don't anyone take this out of context and go 'eligiu said that meth is better than weed' because it very certainly is not. Neither of them are good for me, and in a perfect world I wouldn't use meth. However, the impact in terms of psychosis that weed has on me personally is worse, and that is what she meant. The impact overall to my wellbeing and health physically from meth, is far far worse and no one would suggest otherwise.

So in summary; if you want to never experience psychosis again, and you have no capacity to restrain your use to a single day with meth, then I'm afraid the party is over my friend. It happens to us all. It happened relatively early for me but some go many many years without having a Psychosis. If you are able to limit yourself, you may be able to occasionally use. But I would suggest engaging with some type of AOD counselling which uses a harm reduction/use minimisation approach if you are going to do that, so that you can gain skills in recognition of when you need to raise your alarm on yourself, learn relapse prevention, safer using etc.

If going to quit totally, you can still go with a non abstinence based approach, some find the not having it be a zero sum game be beneficial. But you may find value in abstinence based approaches.

I would also suggest that for now, you go off the meth for as long as you can to ensure that you don't have any underlying psychotic disorders that may have been activated by anything because that is basically what happens with schizophrenia and weed. It isn't that weed causes schizophrenia, or psychotic disorders (like mine) it's that if like me you are a guy who smoked heavily in your teens and early twenties that *if* you had a genetic predisposition to developing a psychotic disorder, the heavy use of weed can trigger it appearing earlier than it otherwise would have. There's a movie about a skateboarder named Paul James or John about how this basically happened to him and it destroyed his career unfortunately. Great film for mental health in skateboarding though for bringing awareness.


I hope you do take this seriously, because what happened to you will happen again, it's a matter of when not if.

Link, for anyone interested. 30 minute movie.

By the way, the key to not having extremely bad meth psychosis (or weed, though I have less luck) I've found, personally, is making yourself aware that the reason you are experiencing the symptoms is due to the fact that you put drugs in your body and in the case of meth haven't slept.

If you start to feel this way again because you've decided to use, if you take one thing away from my post it's this:

Ask yourself these questions, upon realising that you may be experiencing psychosis/an unusual state of mind not normal for substance you are used to:

1. Have I put something into my body that I know has the ability to cause this and has done so with me in the past?

If no, then please see a GP to get a referral to a psychiatrist as it may be a psychotic condition, but yours doesn't seem to be this. But this is for anyone reading generally too. And it's good for people who have both to ask themselves these questions and it's how I differentiate between being nonplussed, and freaking out and running to the ER cause if it's a no, it's ER time for antipsychotics.

If yes, proceed to next question in case of meth.

2. Has it been more than 2 days, especially closer to a week with little or absolutely zero sleep, little to no drinking water, and eating?

If no, grey area. Probably avoid the drug altogether really. Maybe still seek medical attention cause my friend got terrible weed induced psychosis and went to a psych ward for a month due to it and he's only getting back to normal 3 years later and can't smoke weed at all now.

If yes, tell yourself the following.

'I have been awake for X days not eating or drinking water because I put meth into my body. I am psychotic for this reason. I am going to eat something easy to eat (yoghurt, protein shake, etc), drink something good (Gatorade, juice and definitely some water) and then, I will go to bed (melatonin can help). The psychosis will go away after that, because I will have slept and eaten and drunk and not taken more meth (this works especially well if this does happen all the time, works less if it doesn't. If it doesn't, probably again - I'd be avoiding meth entirely).

I hope that helps. I know its long but meth psychosis I'm very familiar with.

 

[TheBookBurner]

I never ever ever ever mix meth and weed.

 

[sonicwhite]

Yup, at least you have the ability to convey. Keep it up and you'll run into jail 4 times in a row cuz like me I was gone. I had no one to take me seriously. Once you have psychosis it'll go into remission but it'll never go away.


I'm telling you right now from experience. I lost everything I had in a moment. All gone. It's a pain I relive everyday. Regretting not loving the 1 I truly will always love. I've accepted its over. So I deny myself any relationship cause that type of pain was so bad that I can't ever go thru it again.


I said if I can see her in heaven that's worth it. I pray she does know her Maker. So many regrets, so many mistakes. We live we learn and we are here to warn ppl of the path their on. Please heed this. You can even lose your life. Please!!!!