Psychedelics have ruined my dating life.

[FerreNoctem]

It hurts when you realize your favorite substance is also the cause of many of your problems.

I've never had a bad trip or anything for that matter, but I fully believe that my favorite mind-altering chemicals have destroyed me.

I've always been sort of an introvert, but when I came to university I was able to leave my shell and develop quality relationships. Now, I'm much less able to converse with people, holding a conversation with people (*especially* girls) is growing increasingly more challenging.

One of the main problems is that I'm finding no interest in all with what people have to say. While I still desire a social connection, some part of me just doesn't give a fuck with what anyone has to say. I even think I forget names worse. I'll meet a girl and get her name and within 10 seconds I'll already have forgotten it.

I know I have a great life but for some reason I can never be happy unless I'm getting laid. when I'm not getting laid I feel bad about myself, and you can see the sort of vicious cycle that puts me in. Again I think psychedelics have thrown me into this conundrum.

What's worse is that I've re-aquired all the social anxieties that I thought I left behind me in middle school / high school. It's like I grew up into a man and then grew back somewhere down the line - most likely after psych.

I don't even know how this happened - I'm faced with many decisions on whether I want to go out or not, which would have previously been a no-brainer for me. Quite often I'm finding myself wanting to stay in over socializing with people.

Not much has changed in my life situation other than the chemicals I've been intaking.

Has anyone else grown increasingly antisocial due to psychedelics? If so, any advice for one struggling through this? Cause this fucking sucks.

 

[Bojangles69]

Fuck man you could replace "psychedelics" with "opiates" for me and the exact same thing would ring truth.

Opiates make me not give the leastest amount of care or worry about other peoples life problems. Unless its my family really but any stranger I simply do not give a fuck about their issues most of the time. And I hear it all day long too at my job. All people do is bitch about their life. At one point however I genuinely had true empathy for people, and was very emotionally sensitive to their needs. Now I just don't feel emotionally tied to other peoples circumstances maybe its biologically the endorphins or maybe I'm just so wrapped up in my own shit.

Or maybe its a survival mechanism who really knows? Our brains way of telling us its time to chill the fuck out otherwise this is what get got to look forward to. Being a cold emotionless zombie. It scares me because so many people seem to think on a subconscious level that this is the way to get ahead in life. By being cold and only caring about yourself. So I'd imagine theres people not even on opiates or psychedelics that also feel this way. For myself I realize if I don't stop doing any form of opiate soon that I will lose that true desire to wanna connect with people. And with women its even sadder. I objectify the shit out of most of them. Mainly because I refuse to let myself be with one. I don't feel like I have a "problem" with them. I feel like I have a problem with myself that overrides really anything in life other than me. Its a miserable paradox.
So obviously there is absolutely 0 romance or love fantasies going through my head on a daily basis. When I was sober and off opiates I'd do that shit all day long. Its a cold world in either direction. Only way to warm up is to stop abusing your brain imo. Although like I said this is in the context of opiates, I know very little about psychedelics and how they actually influence the brain.

 

[burn out]

It's been the exact opposite for me. I was always very shy and introverted growing up and suffered from severe social anxiety. When I took LSD however, it allowed me to see how I was limiting myself with certain negative beliefs. It showed me that I was just as valuable as anyone else and that it's OK to be different. Whenever I am tripping on LSD (assuming that the trip is a mild enough level that I can socialize) I tend to have almost complete self confidence and it is the only time I have ever approached girls and struck up conversations with them. When the trip wears off, some of social anxiety comes back but it has never come back as bad as it was before LSD. I still have trouble thinking of what to say and fitting in to society but when I am on LSD, I feel like if someone doesn't like me it is their problem and not mine.

 

[Deleted member 210577]

I would say yes it has made me more anti-social, but my next comment would be, "so what?" and "maybe most people are not worth your time anyway". I know that sounds very arrogant, but if you honestly analyze the dynamics of most friendships and relationships, take away all the fluff and smiles, you'll see that most people are incredibly repetitive and selfish. In essence, people ARE robots. I still like to socialize, but only with people who aren't going to suck me dry, people who actually have something to offer me instead of just draining my vitality and patience.. people who I can also give something back to, an engagement where BOTH parties benefit and not just one.

About the getting laid/feeling happy. You will feel much better getting laid than using masturbation, that's for sure. But the point is, it is Nature's programming.. it isn't you. Nature puts those thoughts into everyones minds. So my advice would be don't identify them as your own, but recognize that those thoughts are one of the primary objectives to our existence.

 

[Dave]

The main thing that came to mind when reading the original post is: correlation does not imply causation. Did your anxiety get markedly worse after a particular trip, or did they both just kind of happen around the same time?

 

[rave_itsrealfun!!!]

If you could be happy without getting laid, you would have less incentive to get laid. Humans are a super complicated form of bacteria, and the key to inner peace is to not identify with forms of suffering like sexual frustration. You are something much more beautiful and powerful than a simple desire for sexual pleasure and connection. We are never alone because we are so intimately connected to the rest of the universe. We are forever a part of the cosmic dance and you can't just focus on the human manisfestation of love - there is love in everything.

That being said, I have never had a successful relationship with a female. Ever. I often see my whole life as a complete and utter failure because of this, and I shouldn't see things this way cause I'm a smart engineer with so much going for me and my whole adult life ahead of me. I regularly have suicidal thoughts out extreme loneliness, but I simply do not associate with them because I know that I don't deserve to feel that way and it is just a result of being a form of life that isn't reproducing or getting the feeling of reproducing. I practice yoga daily to help transcend my suffering which really helps calm me down when I'm at war with my ego. I see this lack of sex in a positive light because if it had never happened to me, then I wouldn't have needed a spiritually awakening as much and I still might be a robot. It is rapidly accelerating my spiritual growth.

I feel that most people have nothing to offer me. However, if you choose to be a recluse and fuck off from social interaction that is really not the correct way to incorporate your psychedelic knowledge about the true nature of reality into your daily existence. I myself work very hard to be unselfish, and love people, and I end up being a really chill and interesting person to hang around. I am compassionate to all - you are no better than anyone else because you have higher self awareness.

In fact, I know deep down at this point that this lack of sex doesn't have any real importance in my life at all. I used to go out getting drunk and doing hard drugs, occasionally managing to get laid. Now, I spend the vast majority of my free time alone, which seems to be a commonality among life changes in psychedelic users. I have great hope that I will fall in love, since I have discovered there are plenty of awakened female beings in this world, and yoga has proven to be a good way of encountering them. But likeminded females are the only ones I am interested in at this point, and they simply arn't the common girls you meet at parties and bars, so I know it might be years until this happens and I'm cool with that.

Both alcohol and marijuana exacerbate my problems as they intensify my ego (cannabis on the down mainly). Cannabis makes me VERY antisocial. So I don't use these substances I used to love so much at all anymore, another drastic change I see in positive light since having become a psychedelic user. I really feel that in the end, these changes have been in my best interests.

 

[Dave]

Um, humans aren't bacteria. We're eukaryotes, for one. Also: multicellular, including a very complex nervous system.

I don't know that isolation or loneliness is any more common among psychedelic users than the population at large. People in general tend to be more isolated these days.

 

[gymstud]

fuck em i say there no point to anything

 

[rave_itsrealfun!!!]

If you were an emotionless alien looking down at Earth, you would see humans as a replicating organism, essentially a plague upon the planet. My point was that we are an extremely complicated version of life, which shares fundamental properties as bacteria such as striving to replicate. So if an individual is having trouble replicating, it is no wonder that depression and self destructive tendencies can arise. The individual, from this very basic point of view, is doing more harm than good to the colony because it will not reproduce and is consuming a lot of energy.

No fucking shit humans are a lot more complicated than bacteria. You are speaking to an engineer with a physics background. Seems like I can't say shit on this website without people looking to argue about pointless shit, so I'm through. No more posting, delete my account. I was merely trying to offer helpful input.

Yes, thank you, I thought I was a single cell microorganism. <snip>

 

[Allein]

^^^^

Ohhh don't go having a hissy fit, I've done that more than once and its just embarrassing having to apologise and start over, no one was attacking you they were just expressing an opinion. If I were you I'd just delete that post and forget you ever posted it, no on will notice

I found your post interesting, in the past I feel I learnt allot from the use of mainly LSD but also MDMA and MDA which seemed to provide me some link between the deep underlying mystery of consciousness and the physical being that are:-

If you could be happy without getting laid, you would have less incentive to get laid. Humans are a super complicated form of bacteria, and the key to inner peace is to not identify with forms of suffering like sexual frustration. You are something much more beautiful and powerful than a simple desire for sexual pleasure and connection. We are never alone because we are so intimately connected to the rest of the universe. We are forever a part of the cosmic dance and you can't just focus on the human manifestation of love - there is love in everything.

I can identify with much of what you are saying here but for people in their daily lives we are flesh and blood and exist in a physical world which we have to participate in, in some way. IMO there are aspects of the human condition that need to be addressed in order to be truly fulfilled in this thing we call life. Relationships with others, sex and other interaction are all things to be experienced just because you feel you have had some incite into "the wiring under the board" doesn't mean that human existence with its flesh and blood and daily normality has any less significance in th overall mystery.

 

[Legerity]

What's wrong with feeling uncomfortable around people? Most people spend energy talking about boring useless things that nobody really cares about. It's draining trying to listen to that for extended periods of time.

There's no relationship between getting laid and your value as a person. And as long as you need to get laid to feel good about yourself you'll have a tendency to buy much more useless products that are advertised with sex appeal.

 

[Allein]

roflmfao at rave. Hahahaha.

Mate to be honest (directed at op) you sound like your taking life a little too seriously. I'm a girl who loves hallucinogens. My boyfriend loves hallucinogens. And no, neither of us care about bitchy little personal issues people have with eachother. But we care about one another.

Friendships start with communication... and there is more than one way to communicate, like body language. As long as you enjoy the company of others and are open to new people then you shouldnt have a problem.

Edit:
"I feel that most people have nothing to offer me. "
Start thinking along the lines of how can you mutually benefit each other. You sound like a bit of a dick otherwise.

Quality first post, I'm waiting for more, IMO you'll fit in around here just fine

 

[xxsicknessxx]

They changed my outlook on life, my thoughts changed.. how I see and think changed.. I cant explain it well... however I am much different then someone who never has had the exp of seeing things that I have.. that I can tell you.

Sometimes its very noticeable and it messes with things other times if the other person is cool its ok but ... it changed things... no going back with what you do to your brain.. adapt and live life