Psychedelics and "hard" drugs

[SKL]

I wouldn't call opiates ego-strengthening, really, though they certainly are not ego-dissolving. Speed and coke, definitely.

 

[Bakardi]

The first drug I really considered doing was mdma because I read it could help with social anxiety, so I went on a search for that and for about a year and a half I couldn't get legit mdma. During that time I strayed and experimented with the majority of hard drugs excluding meth and crack, but I was on the search for meth and almost tried crack. By this time I was having too much of a good time with opiates, I was stealing my moms money and selling anything I could just so I could feel normal during the day, sometimes doing 120mg of oc a day when I could come up with the money.

During that time my girlfriend convinced me to try acid but up to this point I was just on a mission to cure my social anxiety and just did it just for her not knowing what to expect. I just thought of psychedelics as they were described to me by the people around here "you see shit". So I took the tab and went on a journey through hell and that was probably the scariest thing that's ever happened to me and I never understood why it happened until now. I believe it was me not being able to come to terms with myself and what I was doing to feed my addiction, along with hurting my girlfriend and everyone around me.

By the end of that trip I was convinced everyone was in on a plan to get me trapped in the "acid world" and the Leary and Hofmann spread this to recruit an acid army. I believed that my life was going to completely reset and I would forget everything. I even thought my mom was going to come down stairs and say "your with us now" because thats the phrase that set me off, because I was on my way home when everyone in the car started saying "you finally got it, you popped your L cherry, your with us now". The thing was that I couldnt speak because that whole night I felt like I was mute and stuck in my head and couldn't communicate with anyone. Then I woke up after the night of being stuck in a continuous loop of hell and I still felt like I was having a trick played on me and this lasted until 20 hours after dropping the acid and I had thoughts of committing suicide if it didn't end within a few days and praying that this was all a dream and I would wake up at my friends house where I was in time 12 hours earlier.

This basically scarred me and I decided that oc was going to be all I did. This soon became a problem and my girlfriend stepped in. She told her mom which later called my mom right when I was using methadone to help myself to stop. So that did it, I finally stopped but I still had cravings and confessed everything to my mom about stealing and doing hard drugs.

Then my good friends dealer got acid and everyone was starting to trip again. On the day before my 18th birthday there was a party at my friends house for 4/20 and they were going to trip so I said might as well face my fear and do it. That day saved my life and gave me hope. It wasn't a strong trip, I took a benzo because it felt like I was going to have a bad trip again. So later that week my friend and I planned to trip again. This time I started off with one hit instead of one and a half like last time. It wasn't really anything except visuals and no mind expansion, I was still trying to act like other people and I was bored. So I took a quick one hour power nap after that trip and decided to drop two more. That's when it hit me, my first real feeling of being confident and feeling like the person Ive wanted to be my whole life, my true self. Came to some false realizations on this one coming up with crazy theories that the next day I decided weren't true, like me being able to let go of my love for my girlfriend.

So the day after that trip my girlfriend never came to see me when I realized how much I needed her so I didn't think she cared for me and didn't want anything to do with me so I fell asleep for most the day. Later that day my friends woke me up and wanted to trip so we went out and I got three more hits and dropped. This was the final trip where everything changed. The day after I was a brand new person, I wasn't afraid of expressing myself, showing love, and not doing what I wanted because I was afraid of what people would think of me since I thought I was a lesser human being than everyone else my whole life. I realized that I need to take care of my body and my cravings for hard drugs were gone because I saw what it did to me, how it hurt my friends and family, and especially my girlfriend. Now I believe anything addictive or harmful to your body is a waste. Even alcohol isn't worth anything to me because it now makes me feel like it just slows my mind down, which makes me feel paranoid.

Now I'm living healthy and trip once in a while when I need to clear things up or when people ask to be guided through. My life was saved my three day psychedelic experience and by a girl who truly cared for me. Now I go around "preaching" and giving hour long speeches to anyone who will listen about how psychedelics aren't harmful and how they can help if you use them correctly, because they truly helped me with my social anxiety and the issues I grew up with. The funny thing is everyone listens and agrees, even convinced my mom to say she would try lsd. Overall Im glad to have gotten all this out of the way when I was this young so when I actually have something to lose later in life I'll know where I've been and what I've overcome.

 

[soniq]

I went the usual progression:

cigarettes/liquor--> Marijuana --> LSD/Shrooms --> Cocaine/Heroin/Speed

Most everyone I've ever met in the drug culture was introduced this way.
Cigarettes and Marijuana are definitely gateway drugs. Once you've done LSD it's like "fukit, i've already gone this far....."

 

[Aeon Psyche]

I think I did hard drugs before but not many. MDMA before shrooms I believe. It's hard to remember when you've done so many and really, what is the defintion of a "hard drug"? I don't classify drugs as hard or soft drugs since there is so much variation between the thousands of psychoactive compounds out there.

 

[Ximot]

maybe I'll smoke some DMT while nodding tonight and report back

i feel ya, friend. and i worry for ya. just what is it that you're hiding from?

this is why i voted "psys first, hard drugs later" .. I find that the use of psys can so fuck a person up, make so unsure of themselves, that the lure of uppers/downers etc just becomes too much not to give in... and, on a fluffy opiate carpet, DMT is a blast for sure. I am one of those people who find DMt terrifying rather than blissful - unless I am on a fuzz carpet already, provided by alcohol, opiates, benzos, or some empathogen. Only then can I get over my fears and see through the DMT properly.

I also believe that alcohol may well be a hard drug. And that opiates are, ultimately ego-strengthening... folks who get properly hooked have only that ONE priority, at the expense of any kind of empathy for anyone else. if that's not the ultimate expression of egao at work, then I don't know what is.

Btw, my progression was:

caffeine -> alcohol -> cigarettes -> cannabis -> poppers -> LSD -> MDMA -> Speed -> Shrooms -> Cocaine -> Heroin -> Benzos -> Meth -> research chemicals (at first the psychedelic ones, then later more empathogens resp. uppers/downers) ... lately I kind of steer clear of psychedelics for the most part, I somehow can't take it much any more. Instead I lose myself in empathogens/uppers/downers/alcohol... but even all that I do not use daily. I go through days of being completely sober -and yet I consider myself somehow an addict. I feel so miserable so often. Especially when i do not use. But when I used, and then I do not use, it's worst. Hence my tendency to avoid using. But even just using at the weekend makes for a week of hell. There are certainly personal issues involved, but I can't get rid of the feeling that my (limited) drug use is also a key reason.

 

[psycosynthesis]

^I think that ONE priority is the ultimate expression of addiction at work, to be honest.

 

[Roger&Me]

I also believe that alcohol may well be a hard drug. And that opiates are, ultimately ego-strengthening... folks who get properly hooked have only that ONE priority, at the expense of any kind of empathy for anyone else. if that's not the ultimate expression of egao at work, then I don't know what is.

Alcohol may very well be one of the hardest drugs. And I do agree with you that opiates are ego-strengthening. This is most apparent in an opiate-addict; however, even in non-tolerant, non-dependent users opiates have a tendency to produce ego-strengthening characteristics. (e.g. "I feel so damn good on these oxys!")

Ultimately, addiction is a characteristic that belongs to the ego and the ego only. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that the ego itself uses addiction as a means by which to fuel itself; and not just drug addiction--I'm speaking of habitual tendencies in general.

I will say this, though, I've found some of the traditional psychs to have an addictive edge to them as well, but usually one is physiologically unable to act on that urge. For example, the day after a beautiful LSD trip, I almost always crave more LSD and would like to do it again; however, I don't, because it wouldn't work. Then by the time the tolerance goes away and it would work again, I've simply ridden out the craving and don't care any more.

 

[shortshooter2011]

I did coke and acid the same day for my first time, but now i've become addicted to coke and i have no addiction at all for lsd or shrooms. Cocaine has a grip.

 

[thoughtsUnThought]

i always looked at the distinction between 'hard' and 'psychedelic' as being the difference between having an 'effect' from the substance or an 'experience'.

hard drugs (in my opinion) are drugs which produce a set effect in any environment you use them in. psychedelics on the other hand, are substances whose effects vary greatly from one place to the next.

the 'reliability' of knowing that one can recieve a particular effect at any time is what creates such a foundation for hard drug abuse/addiction. while plenty of individuals have made habits of psychedelic use, the fact that one cannot truly predict what will happen amidst an experience definitely off-sets any regularity of use.

and on a side not, hypothetically, if a psychedelic chemical was equally addicting to a 'hard' chemical in terms of physical addiction, i believe that the psychedelic would draw less habitual users. the fact that you don't know whats going to occur when you partake of the chemical sets a totally different 'stage' for an addict, and no doubt this is a slightly more obstacle-ridden stage in terms of convenice and reliability in appeasing a desire.

 

[foundationx4]

i did blow before mush,acid and e. weed came first.

 

[foundationx4]

I went the usual progression:

cigarettes/liquor--> Marijuana --> LSD/Shrooms --> Cocaine/Heroin/Speed

Most everyone I've ever met in the drug culture was introduced this way.
Cigarettes and Marijuana are definitely gateway drugs. Once you've done LSD it's like "fukit, i've already gone this far....."

hmm interesting, i would way rather fuck with coke before lsd.

lsd is a little too crzy for me, too long .

 

[lsdongs]

I got my start with deliriants ( I still hold a soft spot for them) then psychedelics/dissociatives, but I haven't really tried any drugs you guys are calling hard

 

[freejroll]

I quit doing other drugs after I began psychedelics.. I don't think the psychedelics had anything to do with it, though. It was just something I needed to do, I guess. I've actually never thought about it until now...

I'm sure drug tests played into some of that, but for now, even with basically no testing, I still don't do anything else. I don't even smoke weed.

 

[StagnantReaction]

I've never tried hard drugs, save one coke experience. You might call me naive then, in these matters. That beings said:

Cigarettes and Marijuana are definitely gateway drugs. Once you've done LSD it's like "fukit, i've already gone this far....."

I certainly do not hold that view. Contact with the marijuana culture will certainly allow you contact with other drug spheres, but only because they're illegal as well. I consider "hard drugs" (strong opiates, cocaine, amphetamines) to be quite removed in comparison from psychedelics. I could maybe see the similarities if you compared say, ketamine to a "hard drug", but psychedelics to me seem almost anti-addictive.

Also, I have an affinity for marijuana that might rival some "hard drug" users' behaviors to some slight degree (also, chalk me up for a video game addiction as well). Honestly I've never been quite into the few pills of opiates or the line of coke I've done enough, and I certainly am not fond of paranoia (amphetamines, coke) or withdrawals, so I don't see myself using these things. But then again, I've dosed myself up with a healthy fear of these drugs and their addictive properties because I know that we're all human and have emotions and habits.. and stress.

 

[Riemann Zeta]

I don't do opioids (and really hate the feeling that they engender) and have never done coke, but obviously, I love psychedelics. They have enhanced my life tremendously and have also reduced my drive for other drugs. For example, I used to drink--never to the point of being shitfaced, just moderate amounts--and after trying LSD, I cut back on drinking. This wasn't an active effortful process, I just found that I didn't really miss it. I also used to smoke cigarettes and now I haven't touched one in more than a year.

Note that I don't consider prescribed, therapeutic-dose (d)-amphetamine to be a 'hard drug.' Methamphetamine is another story, but I've never tried it nor had any desire to. If one considers (d)-amphetamine to be a hard drug, then I guess I've used 'hard drugs' longer than psychedelics.

 

[Xorkoth]

^^ You know, methamphetamine is also prescribed... it's called desoxyn and is used in low dosages (5-10mg) in people who require even fewer physical side effects than d-amphetamine. So it's kind of hard to even make the distinction between d-amp and meth. It's all about how you see it. I'm sure a lot of people would consider daily low-dose d-amphetamine to be a "hard drug".

 

[5-HT2]

Let's try to keep this discussion away from semantic quibbles about what can be considered a "hard" drug and not.

Here's a rephrasing of the question: Did you try psychedelics before stimulants or opiates?

 

[Roger&Me]

^^ You know, methamphetamine is also prescribed... it's called desoxyn and is used in low dosages (5-10mg) in people who require even fewer physical side effects than d-amphetamine. So it's kind of hard to even make the distinction between d-amp and meth. It's all about how you see it. I'm sure a lot of people would consider daily low-dose d-amphetamine to be a "hard drug".

I tend to agree. If only because I've been prescribed d-amph daily since a young age; and I must say that it is pretty "hard" shit. It makes my gums get inflamed and causes chronic gingivitis if I take it every day and don't perform an elaborate oral hygiene routine and continuously chew gum. Also, the comedown can be insane and it ruins my evenings when I take it; if I have benzos, I'll take some just to get relief. If I have weed, you know I'll smoke it to relieve the shitty feelings. It makes me feel like an idiot sometimes; but an accomplished, very well-organized idiot.

 

[inotocracy]

LSD was my second drug (weed came first) at the age of 13, and definitely the most profound drug I've ever taken. LSD will always have a special place in my heart.

 

[Cthulhu]

cannabis > psychedelics > opiates, benzos, and stimulants

I definitely understand what you're saying, Ximot - about psychedelics throwing a person off balance and harder drugs becoming more appealing because they can dull the increased sensitivity. I see the allure and have succumbed on occasion, but I've generally found healthier ways to deal with it. I've really discovered the value of a daily routine, and a normal, steady job as well as helping to care for a family are very grounding activities that I'm thankful for.