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Miscellaneous Psychedelic Abuse ~ a compulsion toward escapism ~ the swirling paradigm

I would say i have a addiction to LSD. If the trip tells me to take a break for longer and i still come back a week later out of bordeom to escape the intensity on the mind can sometimes be to much if its really high doses in a short space of time. But it usually leads to feeling super spacey HPPD and a long way back to the ground on earth once you stop.
 
Every 3 or 4 days I have some "lysergamide" or another at a moderate or light dose, that might be high frequency, and yet the regularity of it is also a bit compulsive. This has been going on about 16 years straight. More spread out before that.
Occasionally substituting this with shrooms at a moderate dose (~2 grams dry).

In the last 3 years, however, with the legalization of pot in Canada, I have added some shatter, or bubble hash or other hash, on a near daily basis which is a kind of an addiction. For hash 1 gram lasts me just over 2 weeks - while that is way less that what an addicted person would probably use.

Currently I am off cannabis for 1 week, and though I am looking forward to resume smoking some bubble hash tonight, my wife says I am less available when using cannabis regularly, and she would prefer I just threw it away.

Conversely she really likes me on acid, (I like me better that way too) and maybe that is why I am doing "lysergamides" as often as effectively possible - i.e. at around double or more the max microdose level of therapeutic use (20-35 mics usually).
 
Shadow Cat said:
For me it becomes an obsession like I want to unlock all of the secrets of our universe. By constantly chem hoping I surf the psychs
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Bro you need friends to talk to and ideas to work with not more drugs.

I mean by all means enjoy drugs just like,

I've been "there" (kinda, your doses are pretty high my man, I'm a lightweight when tripping hahahaha) and doing a shitload of psychs only opens the door, it doesn't present you the conceptual framework or fine tuned answers for what you are likely seeking.

Ya gotta integrate that shit

Please hit me up in PM if you ever have a fantastic disjointed idea you want to bounce off of someone at 2 am lol

[sorry if I have assumed you are a man, with all of the "bro" nonsense I apologize for the fratboy vernacular, I cannot help it sometimes and editing it out entirely would feel somewhat awkward for me]
 
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^ Had issues quoting for some reason. But this: Ya gotta integrate that shit :)

I can be like a broken record so I apologize. But when we eat a meal we need to digest it before we take another. It is a law of Nature.

I mean when I was young I would trip 3 days in a row for the Dead shows. 2-4-8 type. But it has been years. Now i just check in but as I get older the nervous system can't handle those vibes all the time. A ringing phone would wig me out. Set and setting really are the rule to this game.

My wife likes me too after cannabis or a trip too @pupnik lol Sometimes she will say I need to get a trip in.
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
Is psychedelic drug addiction even a thing?
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Most assuredly. You see it with some members here. 2006 through 2008 Xorkoth was tripping almost every day, chronic sleep deprivation, massive tolerance, hiding my usage, it was intense escapism. Granted, there is no physical dependence at all. But people can be addicted to anything, including many non-drug-related things.

To me, addiction (to psychedelics or otherwise) is when you can't help but break your promises to yourself about usage. ie, you say "I'm, not going to trip until this time" and then you find yourself breaking that promise.

Most psychedelic addiction follows this pattern: you trip, you have a life changing, paradigm shifting experience. That legitimately furthers your growth as a person, so you trip again, for the same purpose. You're fascinated by the psychedelic state, and the obsession grows. You trip more and more, telling yourself it's to do work on yourself. You start to believe, subconsciously or consciously, that the only way to spiritual growth is through psychedelics. But meanwhile, it's become pure escapism for you, without you even realizing it.

Psychedelics absolutely can be fantastic catalysts for real personal/spiritual growth, and change. But in order for them to actually continue to help you, you have to integrate the lessons into your sober self. Otherwise it becomes, essentially, mental masturbation.
 
Beautiful post Xorky ♡

I have to start taking some steps towards better regulating my use of psychedelic drugs. I have been doing high doses for oh so long my friends and I've seen and learned so much but it's time for me to start using them more infrequently im going to go for 30 day hard stop after today no tripping and then I get one trip which is gonna be Proscaline and after that it's another 90 day break. Im just gonna start doing this as a test of my will power and yeah I'm sure im gonna miss my swirly days off but if my dreams come true im gonna be catching waves this summer with my kid and spending my nites with the sex kitten getting frisky.
 
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i have eaten 50 tabs since end of feb last years thats pretty heavy usage and i always tell myself ok this was a crazy heavy trip i got what i needed no more acid a long while one week later rolls around i am eating another strong dose and further escaping reality. Til i feel so fried and spaced out that i acutally take a break to regain some sanity in my life
 
Personally I actually have managed to totally get out of my addiction period with psychedelics, and still have a healthy relationship with them. I trip once in a while now, when the time is right. I'll even trip 2-3 days in a row at a music festival sometimes. I get so much more out of my trips. And I find that my thought process and ease of daily life is much better/more functional when I'm not tripping all the time. I feel the most sane and well-adjusted when I trip like I do now, versus not tripping at all. But yeah I'm glad I've left my tripping all the time days behind me. I realize now that I was just telling myself I was doing spiritual work, and really I was stagnating, trying to keep approaching oneness over and over again. Nothing actually changed in my life because of my experiences, until I actually integrated the experience into my everyone sober consciousness. When I tripped all the time, I felt like I had to be tripping to be connected. But in fact, the tripping haze was getting in my way, and I feel much more connected to the universe now every day than I did then.
 
I’ve got a family member who Id say is addicted to psychedelics. To the point where me and my wife pretty much had to more or less drop him from our lives... It was hard to do too cuz I felt some guilt.

He’s the kind of guy that isn’t very socially adept, so when he’s trying to manipulate me for more drugs when I’ve grown up around addicts it comes across as cringe’y and annoying.

The last two times we hung with him he made it really awkward. I’ll tell them both.

So second to last time we hung with him he was about to head to jail for awhile and wanted one last hurrah. Me, my wife, him (wife’s family), and a couple of his (we’ll call him Z) friends head up to a remote cabin to trip for the weekend.

I as usual brought everything along. I gave them all more than enough to enjoy the weekend, and him even more knowing he’d be heading off soon.

The second night he just kept eating more and more psychedelics, smoking seems nonstop. It got to the point where I felt like giving him anymore was a waste of good drugs.

Then he starts trying to, very shitily I might add, manipulate me into giving him more. I’m very smart logical guy so kept shutting down all his reasoning. It was getting really weird cuz two mins later he’d try again, it was obvious to me and my wife he was just sitting there dwelling on more more more..

Next he did something that really pissed me off, he was like “I’ll give you any amount of money you want, why did you bring stuff along you didn’t want to share?” Which I quickly responded, “just because I bring my stash doesn’t mean you get it all..”

It got so weird I had to just say enough and go off to own room.

Next incident happened couple years back and was our last time seeing him.

I should start with the fact we had a female friend with us too freshly single, we told him and he went all “nice guy” on us too.

It was a long stressful weekend but essentially he was expecting us to babysit him and keep him from using too much yet simultaneously fighting us every step of the way.

The first night he tried a little K for his first time swearing he’d only do one. Next morning he’s in my tent begging me to get him a gram cuz “he swears he’ll only do a little then sell the rest.” I don’t get it for him but someone else does, then proceeds to act like an ass the rest of the weekend all faded,

The girl he thought he had a chance with he got all creepy about.. He kept following her around all weird, and when my other guy friend saw what was happening and tried protecting her a bit he got all pissy acting like he was “owed” her or something simply cuz we told him she was single.

In essence some of the most self entitled BS I’d ever seen. It was this experience that woke me up to the whole nice guy phenomenon, I didn’t even know it was a thing before this but open seeing that subreddit it screamed his exact actions.

I don’t know how I kept it all together that weekend because I had to deal with everyone’s emotions over this shit. I had to keep him kinda happy cuz he had a head full of acid and kept pulling that “woe is me” shit, I was worried he’d do something dumb. Had to keep my wife from freaking out how her family was acting. Had to keep friends feeling safe. All while I was balls deep myself...

Sorry had to vent about that shit. Addiction to other drugs is one thing but psychedelic addiction is very frustrating for me.

-GC
 
G_Chem said:
I’ve got a family member who Id say is addicted to psychedelics. To the point where me and my wife pretty much had to more or less drop him from our lives... It was hard to do too cuz I felt some guilt.

He’s the kind of guy that isn’t very socially adept, so when he’s trying to manipulate me for more drugs when I’ve grown up around addicts it comes across as cringe’y and annoying.

The last two times we hung with him he made it really awkward. I’ll tell them both.

So second to last time we hung with him he was about to head to jail for awhile and wanted one last hurrah. Me, my wife, him (wife’s family), and a couple of his (we’ll call him Z) friends head up to a remote cabin to trip for the weekend.

I as usual brought everything along. I gave them all more than enough to enjoy the weekend, and him even more knowing he’d be heading off soon.

The second night he just kept eating more and more psychedelics, smoking seems nonstop. It got to the point where I felt like giving him anymore was a waste of good drugs.

Then he starts trying to, very shitily I might add, manipulate me into giving him more. I’m very smart logical guy so kept shutting down all his reasoning. It was getting really weird cuz two mins later he’d try again, it was obvious to me and my wife he was just sitting there dwelling on more more more..

Next he did something that really pissed me off, he was like “I’ll give you any amount of money you want, why did you bring stuff along you didn’t want to share?” Which I quickly responded, “just because I bring my stash doesn’t mean you get it all..”

It got so weird I had to just say enough and go off to own room.

Next incident happened couple years back and was our last time seeing him.

I should start with the fact we had a female friend with us too freshly single, we told him and he went all “nice guy” on us too.

It was a long stressful weekend but essentially he was expecting us to babysit him and keep him from using too much yet simultaneously fighting us every step of the way.

The first night he tried a little K for his first time swearing he’d only do one. Next morning he’s in my tent begging me to get him a gram cuz “he swears he’ll only do a little then sell the rest.” I don’t get it for him but someone else does, then proceeds to act like an ass the rest of the weekend all faded,

The girl he thought he had a chance with he got all creepy about.. He kept following her around all weird, and when my other guy friend saw what was happening and tried protecting her a bit he got all pissy acting like he was “owed” her or something simply cuz we told him she was single.

In essence some of the most self entitled BS I’d ever seen. It was this experience that woke me up to the whole nice guy phenomenon, I didn’t even know it was a thing before this but open seeing that subreddit it screamed his exact actions.

I don’t know how I kept it all together that weekend because I had to deal with everyone’s emotions over this shit. I had to keep him kinda happy cuz he had a head full of acid and kept pulling that “woe is me” shit, I was worried he’d do something dumb. Had to keep my wife from freaking out how her family was acting. Had to keep friends feeling safe. All while I was balls deep myself...

Sorry had to vent about that shit. Addiction to other drugs is one thing but psychedelic addiction is very frustrating for me.

-GC
Click to expand...

This is exactly the reason why I prefer to trip alone. Other people ruin it for me because I feel a responsibility for them - especially when I've provided the drugs (which was often the case at one time).
 
pupnik said:
Every 3 or 4 days I have some "lysergamide" or another at a moderate or light dose, that might be high frequency, and yet the regularity of it is also a bit compulsive. This has been going on about 16 years straight. More spread out before that.
Occasionally substituting this with shrooms at a moderate dose (~2 grams dry).

In the last 3 years, however, with the legalization of pot in Canada, I have added some shatter, or bubble hash or other hash, on a near daily basis which is a kind of an addiction. For hash 1 gram lasts me just over 2 weeks - while that is way less that what an addicted person would probably use.

Currently I am off cannabis for 1 week, and though I am looking forward to resume smoking some bubble hash tonight, my wife says I am less available when using cannabis regularly, and she would prefer I just threw it away.

Conversely she really likes me on acid, (I like me better that way too) and maybe that is why I am doing "lysergamides" as often as effectively possible - i.e. at around double or more the max microdose level of therapeutic use (20-35 mics usually).
Click to expand...
Those “more than a micro dose” psycholytic doses are wonderful. Around 15-40 ug for me. I’ve used them to enhance my athletic performance before and the experience has always been wonderful. I haven’t taken lsd in close to a year but I plan to use it in a such a manner when I eventually do return. I’ve explored higher doses (max 400 ug) and for me there is a point of no return where it’s not worth it. I know I’m prone to grandiose delusions and psychosis at those high doses. I’ve had my ++++ experience (on my first trip actually) and I don’t expect the substance will grant me another one. For me, there is no point in pushing dose anymore.

when I was regulate macrodosing (70-200 ug) regularly every two weeks I became very deluded and timothy Leary - esque

I’ll be ok in the lower realms for a while I think :)
 
During the week without using cannabis I did a lot more artwork in my leisure time. I had a couple of tokes last night and wife immediately knew that I had become diminished in energy and enthusiasm while I just felt weirdly fine.

I think it is hard to look at one's self critically when you are tinkering with your perception system. the dope is fun, but needs to be kept in a scale of use that makes sense... i.e. for cannabis, pain control validates daytime use, otherwise, I'm going for evening and weekend.

@thegreenhand "Those “more than a micro dose psycholytic doses" are my passion for sure, and for my life, every 3rd day works fine.
 
Cannabis is a struggle of mine too. I find it hard the escape the overwhelming sense of dread that I am wasting time while high. Not to mention the anxiety and paranoia. But I still come back to it every week...

that’s wonderful you’ve found a good routine to dose with. I do not have the luxury of such a thing, though I may take some mushrooms on an upcoming snowboarding trip soon
 
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