Okay whoever told me this was anything like booze or wouldn't possess recreational potential is full of shit. This was by far the most intensely pleasurable downer experience I've ever had. It surely tops IV piritramid and IV hydromorphone, same goes for IV midazolam and diazepam, not to mention this short-lived barb I once tried in proper (oral) knockout dosages, forgot the name, but I hated it. I'd rather huff diethylether than repeat that. I have vast experiences with oral downers eventhough they aren't my drug of choice. Opiates I unfortunately do enjoy a lot, orally or rectally usually, but I have some limited iv experience as well. I'm just saying this to stress how FAR superior today's propofol expeirence during the course of an esophago-gastro-duodenoscopy (followed by a proctoscopy) felt to all these prior experiences. Only my iv piritramide experiences came close to being in the same league.
I am (again: unfortunately so) a huge fan of the first 30 minutes after 200ml of hard liquor hit my stomach. I cannot deny that propofol took me to a space close to that, but without the stupor, I was able to articulate myself perfectly fine and maintain a conversation with the anesthesiologist. There was a time when they raised infusion rate and thereby cause amnesia (which I specifically asked to avoid by all means if they could) because I didn't handle the tube in my throat very well it seems. Before that I remember the most amazing sense of inner peace, something that only one drug has previously managed to supply and that is dmt. I felt perfectly in tune with my surroundings, empathetic towards those who just a minute ago seemed like total twats, but seemingly lucid and clear headed, articulate and in control. Absolutely wonderful. My first words when it kicked in were: (me speaking in what I perceived as a calm, but intent tone of voice)
"I feel slightly dissociated, distanced from my surroundings. Is propofol some sort of allosteric modulator of glutamate receptors aside from it's presumed gabaergic effects?"
"Not as far as I know."
"There is some very intense euphoria present right now, I can see why such a large part of the annual propofol production can not be tracked down to documente clinical use..."
*me thinks: mmmm so this is what michael jackson mustve felt like w...*
*blackout*
Something is in my ass. Damn this feels more than pleasant, contrary to all expectations. The camera is situated in the caecum if I am not mistaken, we are actually peaking into the most distal part of the ileum from there and are slowly heading out towards the back entrance which, judging by the feel of things, we also used as a means of gaining entrance.
The heavily sedative phase made room for an even more euphoric afterglow phase which is still lingering on. I gave the taxi driver ten bucks to get off my back (he was supposed to "escort" me home) and enjoyed a beautiful walk in the sun, feeling nothing short of reborn, almost as powerful as the afterglow of my first psychedelic and dissociative experiences.
Despite feeling so relaxed and beautifully refreshed though, all I can think about is "Where can I get more of this?" This actually started in the (so-called) wake-up room of the praxis, I was already going through friends in my head who currently work in anesthesiology and can score me some. I actually tried to sneak the IV catheter out by dressing up over it and pretending to be good to go, all with "moar propofolz!!" in mind. Needless to say, that proved to be a failure.
I've called five pharmacies, but none of them can score some thymol before the day is over, rectal trials would have followed. I might still have a chance if I bring this thread to an end soon. So what's left to say, oh right, set and setting. Well, I had tubes up my ass, could it be any worse? Here's my prior regimen that day and the day before:
>>Day before:
-In the a.m. ~25mg oral amphetamine and 50mg XR tramadol
-~5mg intranasal MDPV until noon
-No food, lots of laxans
-At 8pm 10mg oxycodone intranasally, spend the time playing with my daughter till she goes to sleep at 10:30pm
-Another 30mg i.n. oxy at 11pm (roa chosen cause of the thunderstorm in my GI tract)
-150mg oral Diphenhydramine (~11pm) and a shitload of bigbud (until till 4a.m., 5h pre-appointment...)
-...no sleep, no food... nodding, programming, playing computer, feeling just dandy though
>>Day of tube insertion:
-In the a.m. ~25mg oral amphetamine and 50mg XR tramadol
-~5mg intranasal MDPV until noon
>>Throughout the two days prior to the day of procedure I had ~3 liters of grapefruit juice to bring out the magic of that tram.
This regimen probably contributed to my feeling so damn good. My assumption is that the old hag of an anesthesiologist just tried to knock my talkative ass out and realized I don't respond to the initial dosage as she expected (with all the dopaminergic circuitry acting up from the PV & amp). The lingering opioid activity (oxy+m1) supplied some sort of extra euphoria, so did the uppers and the ssri action of tram itself.
Either way: I've never had a downer make me feel so fucking relaxed. I still feel like I was 16, the air smells fresh and clean, I feel emotionally healthy for once (been a while!), fuck this shit is WAY too good, no wonder it will with a high probability kill your ass, if it's being messed around with it in a non clinical setting... Stay safe and don't take this as a recommendation. Going into any form of anesthesia, even a light one like this with the premedication I had and skipping a night of sleep is absolutely idiotic and reckless and to be recommended only to those among you who are tired enough of life to bury the thought of loved ones having to live without you somewhere deep below their hedonistic drive. :/
Peace and much
, stay safe people!edit: no midazolam, no fentanyl, no ketamine in that mix
EDIT2: Forgot to mention I had 3 liters of hi-q
grapefruit juice spaced out over the two days prior to the anesthesia, also 2x 3mg s.l. MXE and 150mg Diphenhydramine at night. I added these above as well.
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