problems with detox

[OriginalCrazyone]

I don't come around here very often, but my friends tell me it's a good place for advice, so here it goes...

recently I ran up on a little bit of legal problems because of my usage, and I am going to soon go on probation over 1 gram of marijuana and a bowl... my lawyer is delaying it long enough so my system will be clean... the problem is I have been a daily smoker for 12 + years, weigh 280 lbs., and my fat cells are saturated with THC. I have not smoked in 40 days, and I still am not coming out clean, as to be expected... what is the best ways to quickly detoxify my body so I can get through with probation and move on with my life... if I can get through it and piss clean for them the whole time, then the charges will never go against my record. I have a clean record, I would love to keep it this way... any advice is greatly appreciated.

-OcO-

 

[TheMechanic]

I don't come around here very often, but my friends tell me it's a good place for advice, so here it goes...

recently I ran up on a little bit of legal problems because of my usage, and I am going to soon go on probation over 1 gram of marijuana and a bowl... my lawyer is delaying it long enough so my system will be clean... the problem is I have been a daily smoker for 12 + years, weigh 280 lbs., and my fat cells are saturated with THC. I have not smoked in 40 days, and I still am not coming out clean, as to be expected... what is the best ways to quickly detoxify my body so I can get through with probation and move on with my life... if I can get through it and piss clean for them the whole time, then the charges will never go against my record. I have a clean record, I would love to keep it this way... any advice is greatly appreciated.

-OcO-

First of all...I would fire your lawyer. Second...I would tell the judge and the probation dept and the prosecutor to go and fuck themselves! Your state is in the stone ages! It's a little bit of weed....not exactly the crime of the century. If you want to pass a piss test...my advice would be to drink a full package of jello gelatin before you go in and it will gel your shit up....you'll piss water and nothing else for a few hours! not exactly good for your kidneys and bladder though.

 

[MistaJeff]

Exercise a lot. The only way I know of to get all that THC out of your fat cells is to burn it. Cranberry juice or Niacin may help but I'm not 100% sure about how true the claims about these two things are.

*edit* I've never heard of that jello method before. Do you have any sources backing that claim up? It may work but it sounds a little ridicules to me.

 

[OriginalCrazyone]

First of all...I would fire your lawyer. Second...I would tell the judge and the probation dept and the prosecutor to go and fuck themselves! Your state is in the stone ages! It's a little bit of weed....not exactly the crime of the century. If you want to pass a piss test...my advice would be to drink a full package of jello gelatin before you go in and it will gel your shit up....you'll piss water and nothing else for a few hours! not exactly good for your kidneys and bladder though.

while I agree with you when it comes to the republican rule over individual freedoms in this backwards state, I was aware of the law, ,and I chose to break it. now I have to face the consequences of my actions... I have been given the opportunity to lessen those consequences, but my body don't want to cooperate with me...

I have been drinking 1/2 gallon grapefruit juice once a week, and trying to drink more water than usual, tho my need for caffeine is hindering the water thing...

I can keep from smoking, made it 40 days, so it's not a problem... only problem I have had from it is anxiety issues, and as soon as I get insurance, that will be solved through the legal use of pharmecuticles that are worse for me than what I chose to self medicate with, unfortunately... I thought pot made you paranoid... the lack of pot is making me paranoid!

-OcO-

 

[beta1]

Hey man I sympathize with your situation, but there are no drug testing questions allowed in CD.

Try Google and good luck with your test.. Closed.