Post your Alcohol / Drug Taking Timeline - Reflection Goes a LONG WAY

[Jabberwocky]

15 years old - Discovered drinking was the only time I felt social around my bullies at school, it's like as if everyone accepted one another
16 years old - Bullying got worse, home life got worse, I found friends outside of school and drank with them at parties as well as the rejects in my year
17 years old - Studied hard, got bullied hard, I thought smart people drank, home life was painful
18 years old - Started uni - picked the wrong course, did everything to not do it, was so anxious I stuck with it, drank to escape
19 years old - kept on failing uni, drank excessively on weekends, started gambling, was very social
20 years old - Only thought bout the weekend, still failed uni, failed some subjects 3 times without passing, home life was hell
21 years old - skipped a semester - no one knew, was at the local clubs gambling all the time, put on dance parties, drinking was my highlight
22 years old - gave up my course, drank to escape, was more withdrawn - not so much partying, just drinking with die hard alcho's
23 years old - enroled into a masters course, it was hard at first started going well, got a job, started taking drugs and drank hard still
24 - 26 years old - Made sure I never failed my masters and I never did, worked in between, thought I was a smart drinker doing my uni assignments whilst drinking and getting Distinctions - thought I was above it all. At the end of my last semester of my course I thought it would be an awesome idea to start taking speed, toughest semester ever even though the subjects were easy, drank excessively, put on weight.
27 - 28 - Couldn't find a job, so I kept on drinking 10 - 20 beers a day, became the king of excuses.
28 - 29 - Finally found a job I love, am a functioning alcho drinking 10 - 20 a day writing business plans as a job. Something must stop, family is too concerned, AA never worked for me, Too much is at stake yet my long term crutch to enduring challenging situations just won't fuck off. What's next - sobriety hopefully?

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

I did a writing exercise like this last night. It was helpful since it showed me how bad I was with alcohol abuse, and it showed me how far I had came with sobriety.

 

[Lustmord]

16 - visited my family in Germany, had my first legal drinks there and loved it.
18/19 - started drinking with my best friends after high school. we enjoyed ourselves, had a lot of good nights. we start smoking weed, which didn't stop until I was 25.
20 - Friend and I got our own apartments, we drank and partied a lot.
21 - My best friend since the third grade, Sadie, passes away, overdosed on morphine. I am shattered into a million pieces. I begin buying poppy pods online, I huff dusters, I drink a lot, and eventually I break down and move back home. I get a prescription for paxil and xanax due to my long term anxiety problems. The drug timeline here is a blur, but it all started happening around the time she passed.
22 - I get a ritalin script instead, and bounce back between it and Adderall because I'm trying to find out "what works best for me". I drink a lot still.
23 - I find the "love of my life", I stop everything except for drinking occasionally, but every once i a while I have a little opiate or benzo night to myself. Love sustains me, and I do good.
24 - I start becoming unhappy again, relationship is suffering due to our depression, and i begin drinking nearly nightly again. the relationship eventually ends.
25 - I begin taking heroin to numb myself and mask the pain of losing her as the fault was mostly mine. I don't drink while I'm on it, and I stopped it 18 days ago.

I am clean but miserably depressed. Going to school, trying to keep myself from falling to pieces. Best of wishes to everyone else out there trying to endure.

 

[motherofearth]

I'll try to do a skeleton here, cos reflection is helpful:

6 - first accidental drink of alcohol (vodka).
10 - doing inhalants w/ friends. Just trying to get fucked up on whatever was around.
11 - began smoking weed and cigarettes occasionally
14 - Mushrooms, ecstasy, regular weed smoking, addiction to cigarettes. Abuse of OTC cough medicine. A couple experiences w/ alcohol. Abuse of Vicodin - didn't experience euphoria, didn't get 'there.' Abuse of Somas.
15 - first cocaine experience. First cocaine overdose. Benzo + alcohol overdose -> psych ward. Abuse of prescription Dexedrine.
16 - rehab in Utah for 3/4's of 16. Started smoking weed again at end of 16.
17 - started drinking very heavily. Very violent and self-destructive behavior. A lot of drunk + stoned driving. A lot of injuries related to drinking and late night hospital visits. Smoked and snorted meth for first time.
18 - more of what 17 was about except more extreme.

I think Imma stop here for now, as writing about meth is triggering me. Might continue later.

 

[itsALLfake]

12- First uses of marijuana..cigarettes made me think I was cool.. Started drinking heavily for someone that young.
13- Marijuana use starts to be more consistent, along with drinking.
15- Marijuana turned into an every day goal to use. Getting trashed drunk at least every weekend.
16- First experiences with psychedelics. Mushrooms were more common than finding LSD. Research chemicals were starting to explode in popularity. Started getting sick when I would try to drink liquor.
18- LSD and marijuana was my thing. Plus, a lot of research chemicals were being introduced to me..when I actually knew about it. I'm sure there were a lot of L doses that were mixed or pure RC's. First time I took a pharmaceutical for wisdom teeth and implant surgery, Percocet 10mg.
19- Started thinking I was a tour kid. Tried my first 40mg Oxycodone.. I kinda liked it.

20- Oxycodone powder stolen from a plant that makes generics was being sold to me. I quickly escalated to high quantities to sell. White heroin was also in equivalent ratios. Started associating with "family" members more. Got wings kicked to me, made me feel special. Started using LSD a lot more, with tremendous amounts of DMT and MDMA. I would "socially use" the oxy powder and heroin with "friends." It ended up getting busted, and that was that. About 6-months later, some kid came over the house my girlfriend and I were staying at. He had oxy 80's.. I thought to myself, "hey, I was doing pure powder, and I didn't get hooked." After 3 consecutive days of hard use, I was dope sick..and started using them daily for about 4-months. After that, I was broke, and I got on Suboxone.

21- Tapering was going well with Suboxone, but when I got down to lower levels, I started getting really bad reactions..some of them were pretty scary. I told my doctor, and he switched me to Subutex.
22- Subutex.
23- Subutex and Alprazolam was slowly integrating to help cope with the inconsistency of Buprenorphine. I was having trouble finding a doctor who didn't think naloxone prevent you from using all drugs while taking Suboxone..

24- Subutex and Xanax use sky rocketed. I would blow through both girlfriend's and my prescription in two weeks, make us both withdrawal, and start the cycle over again each time got new prescription filled. Some days I would be taking 56mg of Buprenorphine with over 20mg of Alprazolam. One night I easily snorted 80mg of Buprenorphine..retarded. She ended up getting switched back to Suboxone, didn't get it filled, and I knew I would be switched next. We both made the decision to take our last 10-8mg Subutex and quit with that. Around that same time, I was honest about my life with her step-mom. It freaked her out. The day after we made the decision to quit, intervention. Snuck 10-2mg Xanax in to inpatient..ate and snorted them all within 12 hours..didn't feel anything.. The first day I was sober was 12-31-12. I refused medication in rehab, and surprisingly, I didn't have a bad detox. It wasn't bad at all, actually. I had pains in my bones at about the second week, but I was fine at the third week.

25- In Prescott, AZ in a transitional center for my 25th birthday. I met a lot of great people. I knew if I didn't already make the decision to quit before the intervention, I would've eventually just found another doctor after leaving in-patient.

9-13-13, we had our first child. A beautiful baby girl, Saida. Funny how things work out...

 

[Jackeh]

14 YO: First try cannabis because I'm out with people from school on a half day. Some bullshit happens a while later involving the school and the incident, police came in to the school and had a talk to us all.

15 YO: Begin smoking a moderate amount of cannabis during the summer onwards as I had a middleman who sold me pretty good bags compared to every other middleman, and they were the only type of "dealers" I knew.

16 YO: At start of year I tried my first legal high (XOXO) which apparently contained JWH-122 5-Fluoro derivate and AM-1220 Azepan derivate. I got severe dissociation which was unexpected and I was still a bit of an idiot, didn't check up stuff. Have depersonalisation episodes every so often to this day. Some time before summer I finally got my first real dealer (who is my only dealer to this day, sells bags that range in around the top 5 where I live), I bought a lot from him, smoked a lot, <snip>

17 YO: Another year smoking almost daily, didn't seem like a problem though, everything was going well and I was enjoying it. End up getting study leave for school before my 1st year of A level exams, smoke a lot daily and didn't revise at all. I ended up getting extremely good marks in my results but I noticed my short term memory during conversations, etc. was starting to get bad. I try AMT for the first and second time ever during this year, codeine, salvia and DXM.

18 YO: A few weeks before I became 18, I tried mephedrone, zopiclone, MDMA, Prozac and an RC blend called "Synthacaine". On the night of my 18th birthday I tried shrooms in a friends house with a few others (since it was in season). Tried about 70 liberty caps (not sure of weight). I had an amazing time but I haven't tried it again since. I still smoke a lot of cannabis but I stopped <snip> due to some family business.

 

[bamaman7]

16-18 Starting drinking on weekends with teammates and friends. Nothing else
18-23 Binge Drank 2-3 times a week, quitting once for 9 months because I sensed alcohol had changed me. I smoked weed 3-5 times during the 5 year period.
23 Moved into an apt with a friend from college who was on opiates and smoked weed. I turned both down for at least 3 months, then took the 10mg lortab he offered to get through work.
23-25 Averaged 20 mg a day of lortab, occasionally taking as much as 50mg. Rarely drank alcohol. started smoking more weed.
25 quit pills but started smoking more weed and drinking a little more
26-27 took opiates off and on but never long enough to experience WD's. Smoking weed multiple times a day, drinking occasionally
27-29 quit pills and started doing coke plus kept the weed habit. When i used coke I drank a lot
29-30 oxy's off and on, realized I couldn't maintain then went to subs
30-33 99.9% subs and weed. once or twice tried oxy's and tabs but they didnt have the same effect as before.
Now: 3 days no subs and still smoking weed plus using benzos to combat the insomnia from withdrawals. Benzos were never something i enjoyed or abused.

 

[Ozekat]

This is really interesting. I'm gonna give it a shot.


16- First started socially drinking with neighbor and friends. Was almost always fun, but did get alcohol poisoning a couple times and a lot of throwing up from over drinking. Tried weed at this age too and loved it.
17- Tried Lortab for the first time. This set me off the long path of opiate addiction I have been on ever since. Though I take other drugs, I always desire opiates above them all. Weed regularly.
18- Probably around this age started experimenting with LSD. Experiences were generally very good. Had binge sessions with weed all the time around this age too. Occasional alcohol. Opiates of course.
19 - More LSD, opiates and alcohol occasionally. Probably started getting really really hooked on opiates at this age. Oxycodone 10mgs from parents and stealing pills from family members.
20- Opiates all the damn time. Tripped regularly. Mushrooms and LSD.
21- This was the year I went to the west coast, had a brief respite from opiates, alcohol and all drugs mostly because of crippling anxiety. Definitely didn't abstain for a whole year, most likely only a few months.
22- Graduated to higher doses and stronger opiates, oxycodone IR's 30 mgs every single day, but usually only using 10-15 mgs.
23- Discovered Kratom. Been hooked ever since. Still take opiates any time I could get my hands on them. Alcohol use trailing away.
24- Had a nice full time job so bought and used 1-3 oxycodone IR 30's every day after tolerance built. Some weed here and there, not much. Kratom. Discovered heroin and have been hooked ever since fall of last year.
25- Roughest year yet, and current age. Have used meth, heroin, any opiate, any benzo, alcohol occasionally, ........weed at times. Basically anything to keep my opiate WD's away. Its pure fucking misery being an addict at this point....unless I have enough opiates in my system to feel "normal". Want to get out while I still can, only been 25 for about 3-4 months. Still never shot anything up though.

I think that about covers it.......this is a good exercise to jog a drug user's foggy memory, lol.

 

[Lustmord]

This is really interesting. I'm gonna give it a shot.


16- First started socially drinking with neighbor and friends. Was almost always fun, but did get alcohol poisoning a couple times and a lot of throwing up from over drinking. Tried weed at this age too and loved it.
17- Tried Lortab for the first time. This set me off the long path of opiate addiction I have been on ever since. Though I take other drugs, I always desire opiates above them all. Weed regularly.
18- Probably around this age started experimenting with LSD. Experiences were generally very good. Had binge sessions with weed all the time around this age too. Occasional alcohol. Opiates of course.
19 - More LSD, opiates and alcohol occasionally. Probably started getting really really hooked on opiates at this age. Oxycodone 10mgs from parents and stealing pills from family members.
20- Opiates all the damn time. Tripped regularly. Mushrooms and LSD.
21- This was the year I went to the west coast, had a brief respite from opiates, alcohol and all drugs mostly because of crippling anxiety. Definitely didn't abstain for a whole year, most likely only a few months.
22- Graduated to higher doses and stronger opiates, oxycodone IR's 30 mgs every single day, but usually only using 10-15 mgs.
23- Discovered Kratom. Been hooked ever since. Still take opiates any time I could get my hands on them. Alcohol use trailing away.
24- Had a nice full time job so bought and used 1-3 oxycodone IR 30's every day after tolerance built. Some weed here and there, not much. Kratom. Discovered heroin and have been hooked ever since fall of last year.
25- Roughest year yet, and current age. Have used meth, heroin, any opiate, any benzo, alcohol occasionally, ........weed at times. Basically anything to keep my opiate WD's away. Its pure fucking misery being an addict at this point....unless I have enough opiates in my system to feel "normal". Want to get out while I still can, only been 25 for about 3-4 months. Still never shot anything up though.

I think that about covers it.......this is a good exercise to jog a drug user's foggy memory, lol.

25 since June 23. We got this.

 

[phatass]

13- started smoking weed, peers did it, it was fun and laughs etc.

14- started selling weed to support my habit

15 -smoking weed daily to sleep, to escape reality and also still with friends for fun (selling a lot of weed to support habit)

16 -started binge drinking, fun laughs friday and saturday evening parties with friends.

19 -University, discovering xtc, cocaine, ketamine, mushrooms LSD, lots of fun

21 -XTC at least twice a week, huge amounts of ketamine nearly everyday, constant mood swings and emotional instability (selling a lot to pay for my habits), the ketamine just turned me into "nothing" and a bad LSD trip that "changed me".

22 -Benzos mand muscle relaxers all sorts (up to 10 a day), for anxiety and insomnia (and free drugs), codeine and IV morphine, dissapointed about my university failure, and help to face mundane boring life with shit Mc D's job that didn't last long... self-medicating my depression

22- Really get into RC's, wanted to try all that seemed interesting (probably tried about 80 in 2 years) lots of "fun", but probably did permanent damage to my mental cognitive capacities and serious symptoms of schizophrenia.

22 -methadone 120mg to get off mainly IV morphine and codeine, probably made things worse in retrospect, abusing my meds hugely, zombie-like appearance, no idea of "who i am" scared of reality .

25- lunatic psychiatrist cold turkeys me off benzos, PAWS cause delirium, started drinking a bottle of vodka a day to cope as best i could, became alcoholic. Also cold turkey methadone 90mg of my own will. Gradually back to codeine.

26- no more booze (baclofene instead) small (for me) amount of a benzo, no more abuse, 8mg bupe no abuse a lot happier than i've been in a long time allthough still very fragile. (one 1 week relapse in 4 + months)

my "evolution" in a few lines....