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What are those words that,
You are writing on that note,
Let me look now, I need to know,
Our sails are losing wind and,
We're lost in the deep blue ocean.

Tell me what's going on,
This silence is defeaning,
There is no method in your madness,
And you're poisoning everything,
You propogate sadness,
Young and beautiful,
But you're a different kind of individual.

What powered the magnet that,
Made our opposites attract,
True love forged between souls,
Both with love in pocketfulls to give,
Now it seems, we're drifiting afar,
From that night; that gift.
 
are you a succubuss from the depths of hell
or just a fallen angel, once gods go to guy?
as never such suffering have i seen in the depths of ones eyes.

i know i can't save you and thats not my goal.
i offer you healing and a chance to put borders up in the battleground of your mind.
sign the treaties of peace lacking in your soul.
put to rest the pain garnered through out all your time.

never such joy have i ever experienced as the time we spend alone.
not saying a word and sharing the world through unity purely devine.
when i see right through you and don't buy your surface
i see your whole history and know of your crimes

you can get healthy you just need consistancy
make this whole horror a part of your history
take my hand in trust and fate
because to me you can truely relate.
 
a three year old, in adults skin
i now see the way, that you roped me in

a sexless weirdo good at heart a succubus like you just sees from the start
her helpless young pray for any black day when your three year old just feels so frightened.

but you are the broken, you are the lost.
that is the main reason, you hang on your cross
as life slips away the same every day you wonder and pray why your child is so frightened.

love was not provided, it left you divided.
sweetheart no it can't be your fault.

but your emotions have slided
you leave us blindsided
your child is frightened
you're a child, so frightened, so lost.
 
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My biggest downfall in life that's gotten me nowhere FAST
my lover my best friend that I love to HATE
MY everything that makes me absolutely NOTHING
My personal assistant to HELL each and everyday
My happiness that makes me fucking MISERABLE
The DEMON that hurts me so I can feel alive
The maker of my SCARS
The SHINY SILVER LEACH that sucks my blood
The shiny silver Leach that's slowly KILLING me.........................
 
She lost a shoulder to cry on
In that she had unlimited iron
But she put the tears on
Started crying
Blamed him for everything,
Accused him of lying
When nothing was broken
She found something to fix
In between the madness
She would make up a mix
And put away a shot
Gone for a moment
In god given bliss

But then the morning would come,
And the man that she shoved had gone,
Her body would tremble, sweat from every pore
He hadn't even shut the door,
What did he think she was, some kind of whore?
Buy her with drugs and fuck her for sure,
Maybe it was true, she had thought so before
 
I've turned my room into an asylum
I WILL NOT LEAVE THIS PLACE.
You phone again, I don't answer,
again.
Too much change around me, I need PERMANENCE.
The day ticks away.
I feel sick, I feel frozen in my ways
You phone again, I don't answer, again
Happiness isn't permanent and I curse the sky for it,
I curse myself for being the only thing permanent.
I'm like an adult-child
DON'T TAKE THINGS AWAY FROM ME.
But I know I'm only talking to myself again,
Letting the phone ring out again.
 
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I'm looking in the mirror, and I don't like what I see
Some cotton tailed, fancified, version of me
In this place, there are too many souls to please
Not enough harmony, too many people on their knees
Surrounded by incest, murder, rape and greed
Picture perfect horrors that are fit for the scene
So I avert my eyes from the amputee black with disease
And head outside to put my nose to the breeze

Ash. <3
 
after departing the party
early the next morning
i fell even harder than previously
to the pits of my mind.
trying once again to out-run logic
and dream myself away
from this stubborn reality.

i try to remember that higher powers
are always at play, out of my control;
that I'm merely a vessel,
controlled by celestial bodies and
a singular, more powerful force
over-looks it all, like an irritated slave-master,
in a humid palm plantation.

my soul is fighting my body
and i can't reject it
and i can't purge it out from my system,
no matter how many times i awaken
upon cold tiles
vomitting the bottoms of my stomach up
night after night.

it's clear i must accept reality,
for better, or worse --
to live.

but ultimately, i'm not sure
if i can kill idealism
without killing

myself first.
 
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You own love, it's grand
It sweeps in and shines your shoes
Like a butler;
And a big silly grin for the victor

Love softly replies in a hush;
Don't be afraid to be weird,
Life isn't a rush

Take it slow.
Slow the inhibitions.
Slurs of I love you...
Match eternally endearing eyes.
 
I used to watch city people
With a deep sorrow,
Imagining their imagination.

(The alarm clock,
The coffee, the breakfast,
Bumper-to-bumper traffic,

Radio news reports,
Newspaper news reports)
Money on the mind.

These people
Made me sick.
Don't they dream?

And I sat at
The park at
Midday

And I thought of
Eliot, Wallace
And Pessoa.

Finance, law --
Commercial translator.
These great men

Were like the
Men I look
Down upon now

On similar city streets.
I realise now that
These people,

Some of these
People, have
Larger dreams also --

Only I cannot see them.
 
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swirling black dragons
between time and space
weaving to and fro
existent never in one place
except when you've made sight
parting from touching form
wandering into the ripples center
a mouth appears
the mouth
an unseen black mouth exchanging what is left unprocessed
regurgitating into molten layers of weight made by layers of unconsciousness
not wanted passed off onto the return belt
until burying who all kept it unfaced
now always facing it and each other
each as it now
as this place
 
I find myself now tired.
You couldn’t give a fuck about the world,
You Narcissistic liar.

Chasing an ideal designed only for yourself.
Projecting your inadequacies onto those of less intelligence.
Split straight down the middle between action and thought.

I know your tricks of manipulation,
I will no longer face frustration,
Our paths must divide and I wish you all the best.

I'd rather not watch
You fade into obscurity
Your heralded dreams die

Watch you vehemently deny,
As your blinded by pride

What is
so
plain
and
clear

You narcissistic liar.

:X:X:X:X
 
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We dare to dream of a world where anything is possible, and we shy away from fearful reality, instead finding solace in the small numbers, in the cradling arms of self-hatred. What we do not consider is that, despite our nobel prize-worthy accomplishments in the ability to stop ourselves in time, the rest of the world continues to turn without us. Once you have fallen into the mirror, it is difficult, if not impossible, to climb back out. And eventually, you’ve been in the shadowlands behind that glass so long that you start to question- why would I want to?
 
As I murdered your children,
And took blade to a delicate throat,
Young, and decidely female,
A level headed guardian,
A friend of both the light,
And of the dark,
No longer even in the shadows,
Do my footprints leave a mark.

You might call me a vile creature,
Some may play at throwing stones,
Either a long way far from here,
Or a short way close to there,
I never could cut the edges,
Not square.

Ash.
 
Find the magic


I can taste all the blood inside my mouth
Flecked Red Autumn leaves
Pumping through the cables
Underneath this shell of skin and hair

Life is a flatline
So drink up all the wine
You were born dead
Bouncing from the walls
In Your head

Tried to find magic
Through many trials of pain
You just want to go back now
And play the sober game
I pray to no one it wasn’t all in vain
 
Oh the green rocky shores of isle Bernadine,
forever forever so beautifully kept
inviting waves that always come
and sunsets to amaze
sightseers to gather
and share with you your days

A chain links between us
fragile as a rose
here we're stayed together
as long as no one knows

That the rains from your shores
would feed all else ever more

Safe with us, your secret is
blessed is, as she sleeping
dreaming of Meain Oirr and Mor

So are we to be then
and all else as well
with such grace a splendor
none could ask what we could not tell
 
The wings of time they never fail,
They never die,
Always flapping, over stormy days
Full of rain and hail,
Contaminated by the clouds,
Angels over the sky of day,
And angels of the night,
Like moon light tickled thunder,
They tackle life at it's most loud,
When you're asleep and sweating,
The world is dark, and you're
In the process of a nightmare,
Don't be cared child,
Because I am right here.

Ash. <3
 
Certainly not my words, but someone here might recognize them (note the references to Chaucer) Big up to anyone who recognizes it without using Google:

We skipped the light fandango
turned cartwheels 'cross the floor
I was feeling kinda seasick
but the crowd called out for more
The room was humming harder
as the ceiling flew away
When we called out for another drink
the waiter brought a tray
And so it was that later
As the miller told his tale
That her face at first just ghostly
Turned a whiter shade of pale.

She said, 'There is no reason
and the truth is plain to see.'
But I wandered through my playing cards
and would not let her be
one of sixteen vestal virgins
who were leaving for the coast
and although my eyes were open
they might have just as well've been closed


She said, 'I'm home on shore leave,'
though in truth we were at sea
so I took her by the looking glass
and forced her to agree
saying, 'You must be the mermaid
who took Neptune for a ride.'
But she smiled at me so sadly
that my anger straightway died


If music be the food of love
then laughter is its queen
and likewise if behind is in front
then dirt in truth is clean
My mouth by then like cardboard
seemed to slip straight through my head
So we crash-dived straightway quickly
and attacked the ocean bed

(I think those are some of the most beautiful words ever written, whenever I get depressed and bitter this never fails to fix it)
 
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We went to an Italian restaurant
You and I, to eat.
You a tradesman, me a nothing, yet
Deep into a Winter of existential crisis.
You always had a way with words,
Words able to soothe my chaotic mind
Better than any philosophical
Book ever could.
Throughout my life you were always there,
A stern mast on my disintegrating boat.
You helped me cross the windiest oceans
And we always managed to set up camp
Wherever we landed.
I never got around to telling you this
Over the many years,
But for what it's worth -
I appreciate your companionship, mate.
 
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