Post-Iboga

RhythmSpring

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URGENT Post-Iboga

EDIT:

I have noticed that I wrote this literally on the third day of my Iboga flood. Time dilation was so strong that it felt like *forever* since this happened, yet in actuality it was recent. Was freaking about something permanent that was just passing through me.

Hi, this is me my intentions: http://eboka.info/index.php?topic=673.0

Last Wednesday I took 2.6 g of TA Iboga Root (about 65 percent), had quite a grotesque, pretty much demonic trip involving evil and the special ability of the human to choose between right and wrong. I don't have an y addiction issues. The day after the dark part of the trip, I felt AMAZING. I glowed like I had never glowed before. This lasted pretty much the whole day. Trying to get to sleep was the hard part.

I had the sensation while lying down in the dark on my fouton I had many galaxies at my fingertips at three keyboards around my head. This was cool, and there were Controls, like buttons and a touch-screen interface. Then I turned around, and for SOME reason? I felt like I had done terribly wrong. I had been in such a good mood for the past 7 hours or so, this was very startling. It was the sensation that I had confused my controls with my own consciousness. I was suddenly forever doomed to be insane, incomprehensible useless and a shame. Furthermore that night, I had a sense of a towering presence at the foot of my bed, closely resembling the demonic presence of the iboga the previous night. It was punishing me for a reason I could not understand.

Perhaps this a great lesson in humility. I've confessed to my girlfriend (who I would be the MOST upset about seeing me in this awful condition. And I'm feeling a little bit better.

But the fact remains, my heart feels twisted, manipulated, and hopelessly confused, as does my concsiousness in my forehead. Shit. HOW the fuck do you get out of that one? I've tried drinking water, breathing, but when I actually try to fall asleep, I end up turning over and over again because the tower has to punish another side of me or something. I am doomed to this room. What the fuck is wrong with me? If the problem is outside of me, I can have a handle on that. But The main problem is the feeling of demonic posession, which I have an inkling of. Deep confusion and power-giving away, needlessly.

I haven't slept in 36 hours and I haven't eaten since Tuesday, so this may explain why I'm vulnerable.

EDIT: I got rid of about 90 percent of the inflammation. Still shivering from panic though.

Edit: I just woke up from a very restful sleep of full resting, to a head full of the worst gunshot anyone wants to hear. Very very startling. Had to be calmed down immediately. from further torture. Luckily I have a very good sitter.

I am SCARED.
 
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One extra note, possibly vitally important:

My sitter, who is a 62 year old retired police officer (He's also a really really sweet, wise person, songwriter) and I had a conversation about hard drugs. He's had plenty of experience with them and has been clean for several years now. I haven't. He told me how he equates The Devil, which he believes the existence of, with addiction and fear. Makes sense. He says stay away. That is part of the Iboga lesson, to realize power and do not abuse it. It's very scary stuff, for if you get even a little power-hungry, you get really sucked into it. I was scared. Anyway, I'm sorry for the unusual and drawn-out description, but the last time something like this happened was when I was 7 maybe. I'm 21 now. It's a huge blow to my self-confidence.
 
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I may be able to answer your questions about ibogaine, what are they specifically?

One key thing is to be mindful of you thoughts and habits. Build a healthy routine for yourself. Ibogaine makes the brain malleable... shape it how you want it.

Some questions I had...
How did you break down the dosing of the TA? What was the total mg/kg?


Oh ya and.... welcome to the club! :)
 
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