I've been reading pretty much every source I can find on coping with addiction. Of course, there is nothing specific to mephedrone addiction (yet) but there is so much relevant stuff.
One I especially liked was "Take control now" by Marc Frederic Kern with Lance Lenon. I only read the free-to-download first chapter (ebook is $10, I think):
http://www.addictionalternatives.com/tcbook/download.html
I have written some lists -- positive/negative of carrying on/stopping.
Positives of continuing to take mephedrone
Negatives of continuing to take meph
I know I've missed a lot of obvious ones -- the truth is that I don't give a crap about many of the commonly quoted ones.
Negatives of stopping taking meph
Positives of stopping
So there you have it.
I guess I was a bit worried about whether or not I WANTED to stop,,. or how 'emoitionally attached' to meph I I was.
I know that the lists are similar in length, but they're certainly not similar in weight to me. I really, really want to get off the stuff.
Less that 24 hours of meph remaining - wish me luck!!
One I especially liked was "Take control now" by Marc Frederic Kern with Lance Lenon. I only read the free-to-download first chapter (ebook is $10, I think):
http://www.addictionalternatives.com/tcbook/download.html
I have written some lists -- positive/negative of carrying on/stopping.
Positives of continuing to take mephedrone
- It feels good:
- Euphoria
- Confidence
- Relaxation
- Stimulation
- Weight loss
- Makes me n mugabe super-super loving to each other
- Amazing meph sex
- Have made some cool friends through it
- Almost all activities become enjoyable
Negatives of continuing to take meph
- Things I plan to do never get done
- My flat looks like a junkie den
- Greasy skin, pale as a sheet... not a good look
- Out of berath, head and heart pounding, feeling sick .... from walking uo the stairs
- I'm blnded/dazzled by my monitor and TV. Sunlight physically HURTS
- Meph is becoming more and more unpredictable in its affects on us both. Sometimes still good, sometimes really edgy and sick
- Vision problems generally
- Job - I work hard for 2 hours and get ~15 minutes work done
- I've had so many sick days that HR will soon be all over me if i have more
- Used up almost all my holiday allowance taking sick days as impromptu holiday
- Someone will clock on eventually and then I'll be screwed
I know I've missed a lot of obvious ones -- the truth is that I don't give a crap about many of the commonly quoted ones.
Negatives of stopping taking meph
- Withdrawal... may not have gotten over the stupidity factor by the time my holiday ends.
- Withdrawal. What? No one likes pain!!
- mugabe will appear to give me the cold shoulder and not care about me at all
- That's a combinaiton of his own crash plus a HUGE dose of my paranoia
- Lose some really fun friends, because we only know them because of meph
- Months and months of having to avoid being around meph users using meph
- At a loss to fill the empty hours in the evening.
- I'd hate myself for even longer.
Positives of stopping
- I'll be able to contribute normally at work
- Be able to talk to people without worrtying about looking/aounding fucked
- Mugabe and I can finally move to a bigger house
- We'll get to start our LIFE together. We can go out and do things together
- I can cook and eat something more fun than a ready meal
- I'll have time to do things in the evenings that got pushed aside because of meph
So there you have it.
I guess I was a bit worried about whether or not I WANTED to stop,,. or how 'emoitionally attached' to meph I I was.
I know that the lists are similar in length, but they're certainly not similar in weight to me. I really, really want to get off the stuff.
Less that 24 hours of meph remaining - wish me luck!!
