Polydrug addiction, wanting to stop

Tony Williams

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 27, 2009
Messages
416
Well, where do I start, first off I'm on/off heroin like I dunno what today was an example: This morning I had my dose of buprenorphine 16mg/daily and I had yesterday I missed the two day before then (used H) I know less and less heroin use is better but I've done this before going without H for 2 days using then 4 days using then longer.

I walked the pharmacy and back 4miles then about 1.xmile to a family members and home and then 4pm upto the Post office, over to supermarket and home which is again 2-3miles so aint been stuck in. it was a needle/h mix crave since I knew bupe would block it I only bought a shots worth rather than dishing £40-£60(+more some days) of my normal avg use insted only £20dug through a bin bag of needles of mine (only mine) for a sharp one that works and sharp enough. In this bag theres all the papers too and packing that adds up.

After toying with hands for 30min maybe I went to my bicep the needle was blunted and a tad bent, usually I do have clean/new ones but if I've packs and packs I am more likely to play about like I've previously.... bah fuck it, lucky me what happened next was the brown coloured heroin was filled with a darker red it reminds me of a chinese dragon, I finished the shot minor opi high - bettter than nothing. But why waste good money? I do feel my buprenorphine isn't holding me quite but it has in the past I know after 5 days it's alot easier, so I'll force tomorrows bupe dose in me too. I was actually gunna ask a friend for subs and add on 4mg-8mg for a few days and ride it back down after 2-5 day, my subutex is collected daily and I've to stand there in a well known retail store waiting till it's gone usually I am not bothered about other people but you can use them rooms. Main problem with this drug is money I est I've wassted £40k on opis alone, if I carry on I'll fuck up bad without a penny to my name. Life isn't interesting without heroin, I feel when I stop/swallow bupe and start on it and get intoxication everythings better, now I mention this for a reason which I will explain after explain other DoCs

Diazapam - dependency 20-30mg/daily plan on taper I see little reason to toy with this

however I hammer Ethylphenadate and GBL daily too ETH is ruining my nose. I find I use ETH as I like being on functional stims, most mornings I barely do anything till I use it.

My friend recently got into a detox and on subs too now he's on anti-dps and I've always thought they're bad news but then again so is everything else I do.

I've heard success storys using these. I would like to be more "full of energy" and put weight on, I've got a few from doctor from awhile back....

CITROMAPRAM - I didn't give this a go really just dosed 10mg (no idea where I put 'em)

Zoloft - I tried this couple-few days and it felt depressing

Saint Johns Wort - I notice nothing apart from higher amounts blocking eth a tad and other stims but I've done this for a month straight and not found it helpful,very minimal at best.

I think SSRIs aren't really for me, I remember some nice mild stimulation with Tramadol 500mg which is an SNRI so maybe I should opt for them?

My mate seems to be doing very well on I think mirtazapine and I keep hearing good stories I guess it's the right anti-dp for him and he's been using similer to me and he's not bothered asking about getting gear, I plan on TRYING to stick with my subutex as best as and book to see the doc and see if he'd write something for mirtazapine or another SNRI. Another thing is I hear about is California-Rocket-Fuel?

http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/579394-California-Rocket-Fuel

I've been about the block too long, I'm still holding on hope to CRF or some SNRI. I don't always but I should take @ 2.5g Aniracetam and Oxiracetam and Choline
 
Can a mod put "Polydrug addiction, wanting to stop - anti-dps a way out" as the title or something?
 
tramadol is not typically prescribed for depression. Your problems are likely the result of your drug use. I would not recommend adding yet another drug in to fix everything. Try to cut out the ethylphenidate, i can't imagine taking ethylphenidate every day, it eats my soul and really takes a toll on my body.

Stay on subs, focus on recovery and reduce your recreational drug use and i bet your state of mind will improve far more than taking anti depressants. Anti-depressants are not a way out.
 
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