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Please help!

  • Thread starter Thread starter RN888
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RN888

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Years ago, my husband fathered a son out of wedlock. He didn't tell me that he had a son with a woman living in a state to whom he was paying 2 GRAND a month for child support. I found out about his son, when the boy turned 18 and they sent a letter of child support termination to our address. when I confronted him about it and wanting to end my relationship with him. He explained to me that it was a one night stand, his baby momma broke up with her boyfriend whom she had a child with. And she did it to get back at her old boyfriend. Now my husband wasn't aware of all that until she contacted him one day telling him that she was pregnant and wants money to end the pregnancy since she is back together with her old boyfriend. He did give her money, and she never ended the pregnancy. My husband swears that the lady wanted to get pregnant from the get go. He was young and naive to know that. He said he always thought he was going to be with her since they went out a couple of times. Fast forward a year after that she contacted him regarding his son and wanted to be with him. So when he tried to be with her and his son. Her family threatened him about his race and how they don't want to mix with black folks and they are moving their daughter to a far away place from him. He mustn't look for them or else they'd get him arrested. My husband and I have 4 kids and we have a great relationship aside from this issue. I thinks that the 18 years old boy doesn't know anything about his dad. And he doesn't know that his dad is the one supporting them all financially all this time. Now we are not sure what his racists family told him about his dad, but I'm sure being the only black baby surronded by white people, he could have asked about his father at some point in his life. I'm very eager to reach out to the boy and introduce him to his siblings and his dad. His father is a very successful man and wants to see his son as well. But we are afraid that he might rejects us.. since we all don't know what his family might have told him about his dad... Such a hard dilema. Should I reach out to the boy with my husband explain everything to him? Or should we move on with our life and leave him alone? I feel like disappearing from all this... There's no day that goes by that I don't think about this boy. Please help me, help our relationship. Thanks
 
Sometimes you have to put yourself in their shoes before making a decision. Ask yourself, if the tables were turned, would you want to have known who your dad is and what he has done for you? If so, then go for it. I sure hell would want to know. He is 18, which is a difficult to deal with something like that. But him knowing that his dad is the one who has been providing for him all this time is all the more reason for him to respect his dad even more and be more understanding. I wish you the best of luck.


God speed
 
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