Hey man, I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through, I can't imagine how it must feel.
And I'm sorry, but I must go against what most people on here are saying. It is possible that you "fried" yourself, however, to my knowledge there has NEVER been a confirmed case of that happening (please someone correct me if I'm wrong.) While there's always errors, most scientists (at least the ones who study the field,) don't believe psychedelics can cause the types of problems you're experiencing. It is MUCH more likely that you either have some sort of PTSD from the experience, OR (more likely IMO) that you have an underlying psychiatric disorder that was "brought out" by the mushroom use, but would have occurred at some point anyways. The mushrooms may have made it "come out" more quickly and harshly than if it started on its own, but that's about it. (If this had all been a week ago I might say wait it out, like most everyone else has said, but since it was 3 years ago (that you took all the mushrooms) the chance of the problem being the Mushrooms is exceedingly small to impossible.)
Less than 6 months ago I had a nervous breakdown myself, not psychotic in nature, more severe anxiety, depression, agoraphobia, etc. During this period I went through a period of using psychedelics daily for over 2 months. I would IV 40mg of 4-AcO-DMT and get "high" for about 10 minutes or just pass out and wake up in a daze, but not tripping, a couple hours later. (And I did ton's of other psychedelic research chems too during this time.) After finally stopping I felt mentally off for maybe, 1-2 days at most? If that? (not including the depression which was fading but still there.)
In other words, maybe evaluate yourself for PTSD, but most likely you have a psychiatric illness such as schizophrenia. I know that is terrifying to hear and I'm sorry to say it. That said, based on you posts alone, If you have Schizophrenia, like I said, you are in the top 1% of Schizophrenics as far as intelligence and functional level goes, and most people don't realize that, quite likely, some of their coworkers and friends have the disorder without anyone knowing, because they are able to manage it with medications, and do complex jobs that even "normal" people don't have the intelligence for.
I'm sorry to say all this, but what you said in your first post, is either, very poetic writing (if that type of writing was intentional you could "just" have major depression, not fun either I know,) but, much more likely shows delusional thoughts, magical thinking, ect. Delusional thoughts can be controlled by anti-psychotics such as Abilify in people with far worse cases than you. I've seen it happen. Professors at universities brought into the Psychiatric ER ward screaming and punching and kicking, and in a day or two they've been stabilized and can return to their lives and jobs as if nothing happened except taking a few days off work.
There are tons of anti-psychotics out there. And if you are dead set against, Abilify, fine, try another one. And I won't lie to you, all anti-psychotics do have serious side effects. If you try them you need to be VERY honest with you Doctor about how you're feeling, movement problems, feelings of "disconnection" to the world, etc, so they can get you on the right med at the right dose, but if you get on the right dose of the right medicine you might find yourself, feeling like yourself once more. If your doctor ignores your concerns about side effects you're having, try another one. Some Doctors are laughably awful at their jobs, most are average, some are great, as with everything. But if you've had multiple doctors trying to get you to try an anti-psychotic, that is a powerful sign that they may be right, and you need to give them a shot.
I'm sorry to say all this since it's not what you want to hear, but, based on your first post, unless you were high when you wrote it, I feel the Doctors might be right in this case.
Check out the New York Times article "Successful and Schizophrenic." I did a quick google search to find it, and there were many other articles just like it. Having a serious psychiatric disorder does NOT mean you life is over. You're not sitting in a corner babbling to yourself, you can write well, you just have serious fears, and some "magical/delusional" thoughts. The fact that you have friends means you're doing waaaaaay better than most with the illness (or you have another illness with similar symptoms that can be treated some other way, there's no way to tell from your few posts alone.)
My point is, give your doctors a shot, again, unless you were super high when you wrote your OP (and if you were, you can more or less ignore my post and look into possible treatments for depression, (where if they try to give you Abilify for depression and depression only, get a new Doctor asap.) If you were just high and don't normally speak in this magical manor, STOP SMOKING WEED, it can/will make your symptoms worse. If you have these thoughts without being high. Listen to your Doctor. Hate him? Try a second, or even third one. If they are all telling you the same thing, you need to start listening to them. Obviously, I don't know you well enough to say the absolute best treatment or even your diagnosis, but 1 month of mushrooms should not cause 3 years of the symptoms you're describing. Much more likely it is a psychiatric illness, or you've been smoking WAY TOO MUCH WEED, and NEED to stop as it is increasing the delusional thinking. Weed has serious effects on some people, don't let people tell you otherwise. It's just one of the safest drug of a hell of a lot of drugs that can be quite dangerous for certain people.
TLDR: You were almost certainly NOT damaged by the mushrooms. Either way you are either smoking WAY TOO MUCH WEED AND NEED TO STOP, or you have a psychiatric illness and need to start working with your doctors. Find one you don't hate and give them a shot. Your first post is the post of someone who is VERY high, or suffering a psychiatric illness, please look into treatments. And if you do have a psychiatric illness, know there are top tier professors with schizophrenia, you just need to manage the symptoms, and with your already high functional level, that could be you. I hope I'm wrong about everything I said and you're totally going to be fine in a month or two or less, but after 3 years it is time to stop waiting and start acting in you best interests, whatever those are. I wish you luck dude.
(please note, I am not a medical professional, I do have experience working with psychiatric patients and am studying to be a RN, but I am not there yet, and so my advice is not medical advice, just advice from a random guy) Again good luck