please help me help my best friend :'(

[legal_limit]

So for the last 3 years or so we have dabbled with oxy, thats the main DOC for both of us. I've kept mine under control, once every 2-3 weeks, 10mg bumps sometimes over a night, or maybe once in a blue moon 50mg for a nod at home.

He on the other hand, is now on daily for at least 3 months. He usually has about 20mg a day at the moment, a few months ago i had a chat to him and we nearly worked out a taper spreadsheet, 10mg morning, 10mg lunch, then he said he was down to 15mg a day, I was really proud of him..

Month later hes on 20mg+ a day and lying to his friends/gf about it, when confronted he gets very defensive.

He had run out and was on day 6, i said, bro, your through the worst of the physical withdrawls its all mental now heres your best opportunity to quit, at that point he got very defensive and asked to change the subject.. which i had to do.

At the moment, he seems to be on a bender of clonazepam, tramadol and dexamphetamine, whatever he can get his hands on really.

It doesnt seem like hes heading down a pathway of "i need to nod, i need more oxy" but he more so just takes it to feel normal.

Its the classic addiction, need oxy cause i hurt from withdrawls (when probobly not having legit withdrawls), need benzos cause im stressed about something.

He just started a new job thats got great prospects for him and hes already been late a few times, i feel if he doesnt get this sorted soon its all down hill and i really dont want to lose my best friend.

He is a dealer, and his last excuse was he was gonna stop buying to sell (because hed use) but still he has been buying and using.

I have a few close friends with him that have talked to him and we just cant get through to him.

He is going through a tough patch at the moment, living in a house with too much people over all the time, he will be moving out soon and i think that will help ALOT in quitting, but im just at my witts end with what to do about this situation?

I'm starting to get these feelings of not caring anymore because of the lies. But i can't let that happen, we have been through too much together.

I was thinking maybe get him to see a profesional who will simply talk to him?

Can anyone give me any suggestions?

 

[herbavore]

I'm really sorry about your friend. It doesn't sound like he really has any desire to quit; has he said he does? The only thing that you can do is to encourage him, support him every time he makes an effort to quit and to keep yourself healthy in the meantime. Have you actually tried talking to him about the emotional component? Something like, " This is really scaring me. We have been through so much together and you are my best friend but I feel like your addiction is jeopardizing our friendship.I really don't want to lose you to this."

You could encourage him to see a therapist (is that what you meant by professional?) but again, unless he wants to open up, he is just going to bullshit to please someone else.

It is so frustrating to watch someone you love and trust become untrustworthy. It is a relationship killer for sure. Get support from your other mutual friends, set your boundaries about being lied to, etc and be clear with him about them. I am really sorry that you are going through this because I can feel from your post how much this friend matters to you. I am sorry for him, too, because there must be nothing lonelier and more terrifying in life than realizing a drug has priority over a person that loves you.

 

[webbykevin]

there must be nothing lonelier and more terrifying in life than realizing a drug has priority over a person that loves you.

Fucking hell, talk about wise words cutting right to the bone, thank you so much for saying that, I have much to reflect on today now, thanks again.

 

[helium-4]

Honestly just talk to him about it. 20mg or even 30mg oxy a day isn't much of a habit and can be taper down to prevent really a ny WD symptoms especially if loperamide is taken. Forcing him to do anything IMO will not work as he has to choose to make the choice to quit himself. Also, drugs may not be the reason why hes being late to work. Honestly I can't imagine 10mg in the morning and 10mg at night causing him much life distress as that amount of oxy can be used with minimal dependence for medical reasons. He probably is struggling with something else that may be causing him to have trouble getting to work on time. I thnk you may be blowing it out of proportion but not wrong in caring.

 

[legal_limit]

The thing is - i(we) have talked to him about it, and he just blocks us out.


The combination of taking so many drugs and having huge benders every weekend + being a dealer 24/7 + living in a house with so many people in and out all day is whats wearing him down.

Hes moving out soon, next few months, so thats a start, he will have his own place with his girlfriend. Then hopefully he will change back to just selling acid in medium amounts and not all the dependency shit. Maybe i should just wait until then.

At the moment it almost feels like hes not my friend anymore. Like i have to put on an act when im around him or something.

But other then that, ive just noticed huge personality changes, hes been lying to his girlfriend about oxy usage (her finding empty capsules around the place) and hes just changing, its not just the 20-30mg of oxy a day, its the weed everyday + xanax, valium, mdma, klonopin, dexamphetamine, tramadol, basically any drug he can get his hands on. Hes currently at like week 3 of coming off some anti-depressant. I probobly dont help(when would i turn down a free 10mg line?), i feel hes giving it out to others to get the heat off him? Hes a good guy at heart, great intentions. But its not just me worrying, people very close to him are seeing that his changes are pushing people away - the people he needs most in this time.

 

[Donewthislife]

I will pray for your friend. Unfortunately, unless he wants to change there is nothing that you can really do. I know it's frustrating to watch someone go through the classic signs of what looks like the beginning of a drug addiction. Geographical change may work temporarily but, in most cases the use progresses. I would try and maybe find him an NA/AA meeting to attend. Just say to him to go to just one for you. The seed will then be planted in his head. All you can do is be supportive of him. Or maybe some of his closest friends can all have a talk with him and voice their concerns in a non-confrontational way. These are are just suggestions as I have been on his side one point in my life. Good luck and feel free to PM me if you need any advice.