Hey blue lighters I'm not sure how to start but I need some help I need some guidance as I am beginning a new journey in my life that I am totally unfamiliar with and afraid to take. I am a drug addict. my d.o.c is tramadol and it's got a powerful hold on me. its ruining my life and I need to stop but the thought of going through my everyday activities, going to work, cleaning the house, making dinner and all the other bullshit mundane stressful daily activities is completely terrifying. I've been addicted for 2 years off and on but most recently more so on. I haven't been sober a day for at least a year. I'm taking way too much and I've overdosed once.I've been trying for the last 3 days to taper off and it's been a bitch . My anxiety through the rest I can't sleep I have no motivation to do anything I called out of work today because I couldn't handle the thought. I do have enough for a proper taper but I don't trust myself. If I accidentally take too much and get high I may not be able to continue to taper. I did take a small dose this morning because the withdrawal symptoms too much for me to handle. I just don't know how I'm going to face life without this drug and I'm scared. I know I need to stop but how am I going to function? Thought of being sober to me is terrifying. I can't believe this is my life. Often times it seems easier to just end it all then face life without.
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please help I cant do this....
- Thread starter OhCrap
- Start date
T. Calderone
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2010
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- 8,981
Hey, I'm sorry you're going through this. It's good to taper if you can, but you say you can't trust yourself to do it on your own. How much are you taking, average amount per day and are they prescribed? I've read stories here on bluelight where people found tramadol are very hard to get off once you have a habit. There's the opiate factor and the SSRI mechanism too.
Do you think it's possible to see a physician to get help? You have to be honest and tell it exactly like you said it here. There has got to be either a taper plan, replacement drug or maybe both. You've taken the first step here and I'm sure someone with more experience with this drug will chime in. Don't panic, there is a way out of this hell you're in. You can do this!
Do you think it's possible to see a physician to get help? You have to be honest and tell it exactly like you said it here. There has got to be either a taper plan, replacement drug or maybe both. You've taken the first step here and I'm sure someone with more experience with this drug will chime in. Don't panic, there is a way out of this hell you're in. You can do this!
i'd hate to say it'd be a good thing to switch to subutex cause your on a very weak opioid and subutex is a very strong one but i know for me i couldn't handle everything w/o switching but i was stuck on subutex for a couple years cause i couldn't live w/o something to help the pain and keep me out of wds but recently i had a very bad problem with my back causing me tremendous pain and i had to switch back to oxycodone and dilauidid but when i get to a level of pain that can be somewhat controlled with subutex i will switch back to that but if you take tramadol just to get high it might be worth getting on subs in the mindset that it's just a temporary thing that you will taper off of quickly and get back to living life w/o drugs
withdrawal can be very painful.Tramadol is strong enough so you'll get sick.for the first few days:call in sick.
a life without opiates,getting through the day,can seem impossible when in your situation.
i've been exactly there,only with OxyContin.
it takes time to slowly build a life not ruled by opiates.
I take suboxone and smoke weed these days.
the suboxone is prescribed,the weed is Medical Marijuana here in CA.
I don't know if I dare recommend anything.
just know you're not alone and there is hope.
a life without opiates,getting through the day,can seem impossible when in your situation.
i've been exactly there,only with OxyContin.
it takes time to slowly build a life not ruled by opiates.
I take suboxone and smoke weed these days.
the suboxone is prescribed,the weed is Medical Marijuana here in CA.
I don't know if I dare recommend anything.
just know you're not alone and there is hope.
thank you so much for the replies. I really appreciate you all taking the timeto post.I do have a prescription for a chronic pain disorder but obviously I am taking way more than the recommended amount. The most I've taken I was fifteen hundred milligrams in one day. It was split up into three doses but it's still a wonder I haven't had a seizure yet. My typical dose is a thousand milligrams per day split up into two doses.I screwed up and got high tonight.I'm so disappointed that this addiction got the better of me yet again. and again and again and again.I feel so hopeless and weak how did this become my life?if I could go back and do it over again I never would have touched this poison but I'm sure everyone says that about their d.o.c.I just don't feel strong enough to kick this.
FordRiverFailed
Bluelighter
I have to chime in here. I'm not trying to be mean at all, but I do not think that switching to Buprenorphine is a good idea. Only due to the fact that Tramadol has an SSRI factor to it.
I'm no doctor, but I'm hoping to get into pharmacy school in a year. Tramadol has an SSRI factor that in high doses can cause seizures if you just stop all at once.
Now that would depend on the dose. You need to see a doctor if you are on a high dose, it could potentially be dangerous. Plus, why switch one addiction for another?
WARNING: Ask your doctor about this first. The only thing I can recommend, again I am not a doctor, is Gabapentin. I've been researching it lately and it has been used to treat seizures as well as opiate withdrawal and even benzodiazepine withdrawal due to it's ability to prevent seizure. I would ask your doctor about it as an option. To me, it seems like it would help the best of both worlds with how Tramadol works.
You can do this though, many people have been where you are now and gotten better, PM me if you need anything at all,
-FRF
thank you so much FRF I really appreciate the offer and I will probably take you up on it sooner rather than later. I appreciate all the support and encouragement. feeling pretty defeated and hopeless at the moment and its a hard place to be. the last time I got clean it wasn't the physical withdrawal that was hard per se (granted I was on about half the dose I am now) it was the post withdrawal syndrome that got me. I started having dreams about two and a half weeks out and it was too much for me to handle. I sort of wonder what's the point of going through this misery if the PAWS is going to get me in the end anyway :-((
FordRiverFailed
Bluelighter
That sounds like SSRI withdrawal to me, not opiate. Tramadols half-life is 6 hours, the elimination half life is 10 times that, so 60 hours. That's life 4 days at the worst for physical, I suppose it could be opiate PAWs, but I always worry about that SSRI action. A friend of mines mom almost died because she stopped her SSRI's not knowing what could happen.
Again, I am no doctor, but opiate withdrawals have rarely killed people, SSRI withdrawals have been know to. That's all I'm saying. Airing on the side of caution here with my advice, which again, is not professional.
-FRF
WantToBeReborn
Bluelighter
OP
Sorry to hear you're in this situation and that things have gotten so rough for you.
I too am a chronic pain patient whom was abusing meds and taking huge doses. You should research opioid induced hyperalgesia - a phenomenon whereby increasing doses of opiates create MORE pain. The only way to assess the pain is to taper off of the opioids.
The withdrawals when tapering will not be too bad if Gabapentin or Pregabalin (Lyrica) is used. I tapered off a massive daily morphine habit using Pregabilin and it is a miracle drug for me with reduced anxiety and withdrawals and sleep!
You can do this. Remember that once you start tapering, tolerance will decrease rapidly, so any further big doses could kill you, so please remember that when tapering. Get a friend to hold the meds and help you manage a slow reduction.
If you truly cannot reduce on this drug, or the increments or available doses are too big for comfortable tapering, see your doctor and they can if needed, transfer you to a drug with smaller increments to assist tapering.
Sorry to hear you're in this situation and that things have gotten so rough for you.
I too am a chronic pain patient whom was abusing meds and taking huge doses. You should research opioid induced hyperalgesia - a phenomenon whereby increasing doses of opiates create MORE pain. The only way to assess the pain is to taper off of the opioids.
The withdrawals when tapering will not be too bad if Gabapentin or Pregabalin (Lyrica) is used. I tapered off a massive daily morphine habit using Pregabilin and it is a miracle drug for me with reduced anxiety and withdrawals and sleep!
You can do this. Remember that once you start tapering, tolerance will decrease rapidly, so any further big doses could kill you, so please remember that when tapering. Get a friend to hold the meds and help you manage a slow reduction.
If you truly cannot reduce on this drug, or the increments or available doses are too big for comfortable tapering, see your doctor and they can if needed, transfer you to a drug with smaller increments to assist tapering.
Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
Hiya Ohcrap,
Sorry for what you're going through. I do understand what you are going through as I had a codeine addiction and know how hard it is to stop, the fear of withdrawals and so forth. The worst thing you can think is you CAN'T do it because when you think this you instantly can't. I'm not going to get into the who buprenorphine debate because I believe that whether a person chooses drug replacement therapy should be based on several many factors - not just the strength of the drug! The antidepressant component can be dealt with my using antidepressants (only on a doctor's say so, of course).
Genuinely it is not a good idea to quit tramadol cold turkey because the person can have seizers and other complications so it is best to taper. As someone else has suggested, seeing a doctor may be best and if you concerned that you may not be able to stick to the taper you could ask if you could receive weekly / daily scripts (if they offer that service in your country?) Another option may be to switch to another opiate such as codeine, taper and then maybe quit cold turkey - but expect some sort of low mood due to the antidepressant component of tramadol as of course, that won't be contained in other opiates (tramadol is a synthetic opiate.)
We are here for you if you need support and you are more than welcome to PM me if you need someone to talk to. I'm sorry I have not read every reply fully but there will be others around who have had tramadol addictions and will understand what you are going through (I have never tried tramadol myself but I do understand addiction n will be there for you to listen...)
Please take care,
Evey xxxx
PS: You could also ask your doctor about non-opiate based painkillers like naproxen. Sometimes opiate based painkillers can create more pain if taken more and more and be a vicious circle - you end up thinking that you're in more pain that you actually are.
Sorry for what you're going through. I do understand what you are going through as I had a codeine addiction and know how hard it is to stop, the fear of withdrawals and so forth. The worst thing you can think is you CAN'T do it because when you think this you instantly can't. I'm not going to get into the who buprenorphine debate because I believe that whether a person chooses drug replacement therapy should be based on several many factors - not just the strength of the drug! The antidepressant component can be dealt with my using antidepressants (only on a doctor's say so, of course).
Genuinely it is not a good idea to quit tramadol cold turkey because the person can have seizers and other complications so it is best to taper. As someone else has suggested, seeing a doctor may be best and if you concerned that you may not be able to stick to the taper you could ask if you could receive weekly / daily scripts (if they offer that service in your country?) Another option may be to switch to another opiate such as codeine, taper and then maybe quit cold turkey - but expect some sort of low mood due to the antidepressant component of tramadol as of course, that won't be contained in other opiates (tramadol is a synthetic opiate.)
We are here for you if you need support and you are more than welcome to PM me if you need someone to talk to. I'm sorry I have not read every reply fully but there will be others around who have had tramadol addictions and will understand what you are going through (I have never tried tramadol myself but I do understand addiction n will be there for you to listen...)
Please take care,
Evey xxxx
PS: You could also ask your doctor about non-opiate based painkillers like naproxen. Sometimes opiate based painkillers can create more pain if taken more and more and be a vicious circle - you end up thinking that you're in more pain that you actually are.
FordRiverFailed
Bluelighter
I think that's a very good point. A decent taper, then switching to an SSRI (with a doctors approval of course) would be good because then you could just focus on the opiate withdrawal. Kinda like pulling one band aid of at a time instead of both. Good advice Eveleivibe.
-FRF
P.S. Yes, we're all here for you, all trying to do the same thing, at least in this forum. Feel free to ask anything; so long as it doesn't break the rules of course.
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thank you all for the support. I am a bit overwhelmed at all the responses and offers of support. I failed pretty miserably today as it was a really stressful day at work and have pretty much thrown away all the work that I've done in the past few days trying to taper down. All I can do is get up and try again tomorrow I suppose. I'm trying not to be too hard on myself as I know that won't do me any good but I need a better plan. So tomorrow after work I'm going to sit down in figure one out that I can stick to. I have a feeling I may be posting again or contacting those of you that have offered very soon for some guidance. Here's a question for you all in the meantime... How do you stop the feelings of weakness and the idea that this is completely beyond my control and convince yourself that this is truly doableand that it is possible to live life without this poison?
I couldn't do it like "they say"with exercise,meditation etc.
I smoked 3 packs of smokes a day,drank strong coffee,eventually I went on suboxone
because I'm weak.
a life without the slavery of opiates is what you want.
I quit OC's and Black Tar,but am still on subs five years later.
that's my choice.I have a kid.resposibilities and shit.
I wasn't able to get completely free.
it is what it is.
we all relapse time and again on the way to our kind of sobriety.
don't feel bad.it's ok.
I smoked 3 packs of smokes a day,drank strong coffee,eventually I went on suboxone
because I'm weak.
a life without the slavery of opiates is what you want.
I quit OC's and Black Tar,but am still on subs five years later.
that's my choice.I have a kid.resposibilities and shit.
I wasn't able to get completely free.
it is what it is.
we all relapse time and again on the way to our kind of sobriety.
don't feel bad.it's ok.
Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
Ehhhh???? I'm on suboxone.
herbavore
Bluelight Crew
It is hard to change self-defeating habits and when you throw physical and psychological addiction into the mix I understand how it looks impossible. One of the best mental changes that helps is to take small steps towards changing and to actually give yourself credit for the strength it took to achieve even something that may seem insignificant--like resisting something through one strong craving. That is an accomplishment! It took strength and motivation and discipline. Breaking up a big goal into the smaller steps it requires to get there means that you can slowly change your self-perception from "weak" to empowered. ("I resisted for two hours yesterday during strong cravings, I can do it again today.")
Finding ways to deal with stress in life will help you out during your process of getting off tramadol but where it will really help you is in your life once you have put that behind you. Stressors are real but but the amount of stress we feel is heavily a mindset and there are ways to change our thinking. We self-impose a lot of "shoulds" on ourselves, take on too much, think we would be happier and more desirable as a friend/partner/parent/whatever if we did, A,B and C. If we put half the effort and energy into just being that we put into all this frenzied doing I think we would not suffer as much.
You are strong. Strong people face their problems honestly, seek help and support from others and ask questions. You already have what it takes to go through this.
caseface99
Bluelight Crew
Great answer to that Herbavore!
I also wanted to say in respect to that specific question - That for me it all became a lot easier when I realized I had the strength to ask for help. I know many people view asking for help as a weakness not a strength. I too thought I could stop using on my own. The fact is that 8 and a half months later, I still stay sober because of other people. Sure, I do a LOT for myself and I don't want to discount what I've done - but at the same time, without being able to talk to other addicts about my problems, either through blue light, at meetings, people I used to use with who got clean - whoever it is, talking with others who know what it's like - it has saved me. More than anything else, getting help with my problems from those who have survived the same issues is what keeps me sober. And this takes strength to admit and realize, not weakness. You are not weak, and you are not weak because you ask for help. And you have already started to do so by making this thread, and I commend you.
I also wanted to say in respect to that specific question - That for me it all became a lot easier when I realized I had the strength to ask for help. I know many people view asking for help as a weakness not a strength. I too thought I could stop using on my own. The fact is that 8 and a half months later, I still stay sober because of other people. Sure, I do a LOT for myself and I don't want to discount what I've done - but at the same time, without being able to talk to other addicts about my problems, either through blue light, at meetings, people I used to use with who got clean - whoever it is, talking with others who know what it's like - it has saved me. More than anything else, getting help with my problems from those who have survived the same issues is what keeps me sober. And this takes strength to admit and realize, not weakness. You are not weak, and you are not weak because you ask for help. And you have already started to do so by making this thread, and I commend you.
Eveleivibe
Ex-Bluelighter
I think herbavore n caseface have given you great advice here.
The mind is a very powerful thing n will convince you that you can't do things when really you CAN do thrm. It is trying to keep you in addiction n make you think that you cannot live with the drugs which isn't true. I too struggling with this I think that a lot of us do. As Herbavore said you are showing strength by asking for help n by trying even though you have slipped. A lot of people just given up but you haven't.
Keep going. You CAN do this!
Evey xxxx
The mind is a very powerful thing n will convince you that you can't do things when really you CAN do thrm. It is trying to keep you in addiction n make you think that you cannot live with the drugs which isn't true. I too struggling with this I think that a lot of us do. As Herbavore said you are showing strength by asking for help n by trying even though you have slipped. A lot of people just given up but you haven't.
Keep going. You CAN do this!
Evey xxxx
FordRiverFailed
Bluelighter
These two people who have posted above me are some of the nicest and most helpful people I've ever met (well bluelight met).
I'd listen to them if I were you, because I do. Congratulations on fighting this. I can relate to how the mind tricks you, but it's lying to you. You can stop anything you want to, safely of course, hopefully with a doctors supervision.
But if not, there are many resources on this site that have all kinds of tapers, I'm sure there is a specific thread for a good Tramadol taper. I'll try and dig one up for you if you'd like?
Keep up the good work,
-FRF
Edit: Found one for you anyway. Hope this helps, I'm not sure if the dosages apply to you or not but it looks like a nice slow taper.
http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/600185-Tramadol-Addict-Taper-Schedule-Help-amp-Critique
I'd listen to them if I were you, because I do. Congratulations on fighting this. I can relate to how the mind tricks you, but it's lying to you. You can stop anything you want to, safely of course, hopefully with a doctors supervision.
But if not, there are many resources on this site that have all kinds of tapers, I'm sure there is a specific thread for a good Tramadol taper. I'll try and dig one up for you if you'd like?
Keep up the good work,
-FRF
Edit: Found one for you anyway. Hope this helps, I'm not sure if the dosages apply to you or not but it looks like a nice slow taper.
http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/600185-Tramadol-Addict-Taper-Schedule-Help-amp-Critique
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