Mental Health Physical abuse/psychological abus in childhood

[Asclepius]

From the age of 8-17 I was physically 'punished' by my parent - she was mentally ill and given the disclosure of what she had to endure (physical punishment, apathy; ignoring sexual abuse; by her Mother) it was something I dealt with; eventually, with Therapy ( My Mom is in denial, still - she had a lot to deal with) but beforehand acted out my(her) pain considerably; with much confusion,chaos and emotional pain (unremarkably).


Abuse comes in many forms.
It is hard to know how to manage - most articles on the web deal with victimhood and give no instruction with recovery. It's difficult to divulge anything to friends unless it's extreme but living with the fallout of parentel neglect or abuse; especially, when they have social/mental issues; is complicated to explain (esp when it's not an extreme situation but when it happens to be more covert and insidious; there is a lack of information.)

I have been in therapy with my parents and understand that there was child abuse involved; re my mother and her own father, happened to be an 'illegitimate' kid (hate that term) that was used as labour-hand on a farm at 6 yrs of age (hard to imagine) - understandably, there was issues but the family wont talk about it and this has had consequences for many of us - which is very sad( considering that if social Taboos were broken - people would heal). Nevtheless, I'm here to ask you on TDS to share your stories and help yourselves in doing so - no matter how extreme or seemingly, irrelevant - nothing is trivial.


Was wondering if anyone on here has dealt with something similar and am curious to know how they are managing/dealing with it?

 

[herbavore]

I feel lucky to never have suffered abuse of any kind from my family but I agree with you 100% that people should take the opportunity here on Bluelight--where they have anonymity--to tell their truths. As the saying goes, the truth shall set you free. What the saying does not recognize however is just how hard-won that freedom is. It can be terrifying even to let those memories come to the surface. So may people here on BL have been emotionally, physically and sexually abused as children. The fallout in adult life is so insidious in that it can range from obvious to obscure. The connection between seeking oblivion (self-medicating) and early abuse is well documented.

All of life's relationships, starting with the primal relationship to self, are based on trust. When children cannot trust their environment it turns childhood into a full-time job of adaptation after adaptation. Trying to untangle and understand your own wounded child, to see how he or she still makes choices and decisions for you in your adult life takes unbelievable courage.

 

[cr33py]

I know many people that have suffered from childhood abuse. It doesnt even need to be physical abuse to cause damage. There have been studies showing changes in volume in certain areas of the brain in response to abuse and stress, its real stuff not just in your head. you may find yourself caught in behavior patterns like trying to impress everyone or trying to make yourself deliberately fail to gain control of the anxiety of possible abandonment. Or maybe you constantly ruminate about things you said or did years and years ago. Those are hard wired reflexes from what you survived and it takes time to re-wire them. Sometimes (not always) they can be based in biology and need medication. You wont know until you try. There are a lot of therapies other than standard talk therapy that Id look into. something geared more towards trauma and PTSD. I know someone that works with inter family systems therapy and Ive been very, very impressed with it. Putting a face to each one of those behaviors and understanding the mechanism it has been using to protect your psyche can make a big difference