Addam
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2010
- Messages
- 240
This was my first foray back into oral DMT after a hiatus of several years. I prepared for the day, got some fruit for my re-entry phase, and spent some hours quietly reflecting in anticipation of my evening dose.
I have experience with DMT - IM/IV DMT fumarate, vaporized freebase, and oral up to 200mg, so I didn’t anticipate any issues. (As a side note, I’m roughly 155lbs)
I weighed out my dose, shooting for 150mg DMT freebase, but 156mg ended up on the scale and I went with it. I also weighed out a 52mg booster in case I wasn’t satisfied with where I was at the 1.5 hour mark. I then weighed out 120mg harmaline freebase and a separate 20mg should I want that at 1.5 hours in.
I juiced half of a lemon into 2 separate cups, one for the harmaline and one for the DMT. I then dumped what I thought was my harmaline in the first cup. A moment later I realized that it was my DMT booster dose. It frustrated me slightly, but I said “oh well, at least it’s ready if I need it.” The 120mg harmaline was dissolved into a different cup and consumed. Half an hour later I consumed the 156mg of DMT dissolved in the lemon juice and followed it immediately with a buttered tortilla.
I got into bed and put on my headphones with a prepared playlist. And I waited. Within 20 minutes there was movement, darker colors taking shape, dark purples and blues. Typical DMT visuals developed, strange flowing structures. There was a liquid quality to it all, the flowing of a strange nurturing liquid that I felt was for me. It was as though there was a large transparent structure above me with all of this liquid moving on it and through it with all the typical strange symbols.
Time was a bit dilated and I think this contributed to my belief that the experience was stalling out and not developing further. The idea of the booster dose popped into my head and I got up to get it, but as I staggered to the kitchen to get it, a wave of nausea came over me. I told myself if I had to drink that, I would definitely purge. So I returned to the bed. But that didn’t last long...I told myself that the DMT was already dissolved, and that if I didn’t consume it, it would be wasted. So I steeled myself and got up, lurching into the kitchen and bringing the cup back to the bed, where I had my vomit bucket ready and some water to wash it down. And down the hatch it went. I tried to take note of the time, and it was only an hour after consuming the initial 156mg. I began to think I might have been a bit hasty...(the extra 20mg harmaline was not consumed)
This is where things get a bit fuzzy. Energy was just pouring through me; I was writhing around in bed, a pillow clutched in each hand. It felt so good to clench my fists and feel the energy. I remember standing up on my bed, arms stretched to the ceiling like I was calling all this energy down into me. However, I was pretty unsteady and ended up falling, lol. I resumed writhing around in the bed, clutching and gnawing on my pillows. Something about the warm, wet feeling of my gums compelled me to keep putting my fingers in my mouth as I giggled like an idiot. I started to come to a very “primal” place. I tried to remind myself that I had obtained and taken DMT, but instantly the “realization” came to me that that could not be so. I hadn’t gotten and used the DMT; I hadn’t done those things, because they always were. Cause and effect became blurry. I thought of events of the past few years and the trajectory of my life, and it was all just so, it was theater, an experiencing of those things in temporality. I tried to ground myself in specific events of the recent past, and each time those were shown to be “just the way things have unfolded,” an appearance and not truest, deepest reality. I think of my schooling and see that it’s just a tiny part in a grand cycle so much larger than just me. I think of the week prior, getting some tattoo work done, sitting in the chair, the pain, and I see how silly the conception of pain is and how silly it is to mark this silly body of mine.
At some point I lost my headphones, which is regrettable. But I remember twisting them in my hands, feeling that energy moving through and wanting to crush them. In my writhing, I knocked over the end table next to my bed with my water and two glasses resting on it. I recall hearing the clatter and thinking how little something like that matters.
At a certain point I just gave in to the absurdity of the experience. I found the great pleasure of vocalizing, ululating wildly and laughing like a maniac. The visions were all just a rising and returning, a flowering and subsequent returning to the root, ad infinitum. Writhing again like a reptile, I spilled out of my bed and onto the floor, still clutching the pillows. It was sheer primal ecstasy. I remember battling my sweatpants at some point, they had gotten pulled down around my knees and were impeding my movement. I tried removing them the rest of the way and was getting terribly frustrated because it was NOT going how I wanted it to, lol. Finally pulling them free I threw them on the ground in good-natured rage & frustration, and I unsteadily headed to the bathroom, grabbing my raspberries from the refrigerator on my way. I sat on the toilet, not convinced of the reality of the material world. Nonetheless, I decide to humor my material existence and eat the raspberries. And they were heavenly.
It’s at this point, roughly 3.5 hours after dosing the DMT, that I begin to really come back to the everyday world and see that there is some degree of reality in it. I see that cause and effect do indeed happen here, even if it isn’t quite truest, deepest reality; I am expected to play along, so I’d better get my shit together. I realize that I have no idea just how long or how loudly I was howling like a maniac when I was in the throes of it, and start to wonder what my neighbors might think. It was kinda like, “oh shit, there are consequences.” Naturally, I look outside to see just how many cop cars there are (none, thankfully). The thought occurs to me that I don’t want to run into my neighbors for a longggg fucking time.
The re-entry phase was rapid. I quickly came back to a mostly normal state and spent some hours reflecting on my future and the focus I need to exert if I’m to attain my goals and work towards my potential. At about 4.5 hours after dosing, I was mostly sober but exhausted. Some very faint geometry persisted behind closed eyes for perhaps another 45 minutes, lots of eyes and hexagons which shifted around.
In all, I probably did not need that booster. The experience might’ve been more productive had I not felt some ridiculous internal pressure to not let it go to waste. However, it was a profound, cathartic, and thought-provoking experience. It definitely shook me, which I kind of needed.
Would I recommend dosing 200+mg DMT? Probably not for most people, and I would definitely advise some supervision in the case of someone dosing this high. Next time I do it, I’ll be staying closer to 150-160mg.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_ayahuasca
substancecode_dmt
substancecode_maois
substancecode_tryptamines
explevel_experienced
exptype_positive
roacode_oral
I have experience with DMT - IM/IV DMT fumarate, vaporized freebase, and oral up to 200mg, so I didn’t anticipate any issues. (As a side note, I’m roughly 155lbs)
I weighed out my dose, shooting for 150mg DMT freebase, but 156mg ended up on the scale and I went with it. I also weighed out a 52mg booster in case I wasn’t satisfied with where I was at the 1.5 hour mark. I then weighed out 120mg harmaline freebase and a separate 20mg should I want that at 1.5 hours in.
I juiced half of a lemon into 2 separate cups, one for the harmaline and one for the DMT. I then dumped what I thought was my harmaline in the first cup. A moment later I realized that it was my DMT booster dose. It frustrated me slightly, but I said “oh well, at least it’s ready if I need it.” The 120mg harmaline was dissolved into a different cup and consumed. Half an hour later I consumed the 156mg of DMT dissolved in the lemon juice and followed it immediately with a buttered tortilla.
I got into bed and put on my headphones with a prepared playlist. And I waited. Within 20 minutes there was movement, darker colors taking shape, dark purples and blues. Typical DMT visuals developed, strange flowing structures. There was a liquid quality to it all, the flowing of a strange nurturing liquid that I felt was for me. It was as though there was a large transparent structure above me with all of this liquid moving on it and through it with all the typical strange symbols.
Time was a bit dilated and I think this contributed to my belief that the experience was stalling out and not developing further. The idea of the booster dose popped into my head and I got up to get it, but as I staggered to the kitchen to get it, a wave of nausea came over me. I told myself if I had to drink that, I would definitely purge. So I returned to the bed. But that didn’t last long...I told myself that the DMT was already dissolved, and that if I didn’t consume it, it would be wasted. So I steeled myself and got up, lurching into the kitchen and bringing the cup back to the bed, where I had my vomit bucket ready and some water to wash it down. And down the hatch it went. I tried to take note of the time, and it was only an hour after consuming the initial 156mg. I began to think I might have been a bit hasty...(the extra 20mg harmaline was not consumed)
This is where things get a bit fuzzy. Energy was just pouring through me; I was writhing around in bed, a pillow clutched in each hand. It felt so good to clench my fists and feel the energy. I remember standing up on my bed, arms stretched to the ceiling like I was calling all this energy down into me. However, I was pretty unsteady and ended up falling, lol. I resumed writhing around in the bed, clutching and gnawing on my pillows. Something about the warm, wet feeling of my gums compelled me to keep putting my fingers in my mouth as I giggled like an idiot. I started to come to a very “primal” place. I tried to remind myself that I had obtained and taken DMT, but instantly the “realization” came to me that that could not be so. I hadn’t gotten and used the DMT; I hadn’t done those things, because they always were. Cause and effect became blurry. I thought of events of the past few years and the trajectory of my life, and it was all just so, it was theater, an experiencing of those things in temporality. I tried to ground myself in specific events of the recent past, and each time those were shown to be “just the way things have unfolded,” an appearance and not truest, deepest reality. I think of my schooling and see that it’s just a tiny part in a grand cycle so much larger than just me. I think of the week prior, getting some tattoo work done, sitting in the chair, the pain, and I see how silly the conception of pain is and how silly it is to mark this silly body of mine.
At some point I lost my headphones, which is regrettable. But I remember twisting them in my hands, feeling that energy moving through and wanting to crush them. In my writhing, I knocked over the end table next to my bed with my water and two glasses resting on it. I recall hearing the clatter and thinking how little something like that matters.
At a certain point I just gave in to the absurdity of the experience. I found the great pleasure of vocalizing, ululating wildly and laughing like a maniac. The visions were all just a rising and returning, a flowering and subsequent returning to the root, ad infinitum. Writhing again like a reptile, I spilled out of my bed and onto the floor, still clutching the pillows. It was sheer primal ecstasy. I remember battling my sweatpants at some point, they had gotten pulled down around my knees and were impeding my movement. I tried removing them the rest of the way and was getting terribly frustrated because it was NOT going how I wanted it to, lol. Finally pulling them free I threw them on the ground in good-natured rage & frustration, and I unsteadily headed to the bathroom, grabbing my raspberries from the refrigerator on my way. I sat on the toilet, not convinced of the reality of the material world. Nonetheless, I decide to humor my material existence and eat the raspberries. And they were heavenly.
It’s at this point, roughly 3.5 hours after dosing the DMT, that I begin to really come back to the everyday world and see that there is some degree of reality in it. I see that cause and effect do indeed happen here, even if it isn’t quite truest, deepest reality; I am expected to play along, so I’d better get my shit together. I realize that I have no idea just how long or how loudly I was howling like a maniac when I was in the throes of it, and start to wonder what my neighbors might think. It was kinda like, “oh shit, there are consequences.” Naturally, I look outside to see just how many cop cars there are (none, thankfully). The thought occurs to me that I don’t want to run into my neighbors for a longggg fucking time.
The re-entry phase was rapid. I quickly came back to a mostly normal state and spent some hours reflecting on my future and the focus I need to exert if I’m to attain my goals and work towards my potential. At about 4.5 hours after dosing, I was mostly sober but exhausted. Some very faint geometry persisted behind closed eyes for perhaps another 45 minutes, lots of eyes and hexagons which shifted around.
In all, I probably did not need that booster. The experience might’ve been more productive had I not felt some ridiculous internal pressure to not let it go to waste. However, it was a profound, cathartic, and thought-provoking experience. It definitely shook me, which I kind of needed.
Would I recommend dosing 200+mg DMT? Probably not for most people, and I would definitely advise some supervision in the case of someone dosing this high. Next time I do it, I’ll be staying closer to 150-160mg.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_ayahuasca
substancecode_dmt
substancecode_maois
substancecode_tryptamines
explevel_experienced
exptype_positive
roacode_oral
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