Well, we are kind of in the same boat. I don't have anyone either. No friends, no one to lean on, and my family is just so dead set that I am only alive to cause pain and suffering to those closest to me thanks to a certain dr. I do make topics here a lot and I also feel like no one can relate, or even understand what I am going through. I've always been emotionless and aloof, as far as I can remember. My parents had me on anti depressants since age 9 or 11.. I can't remember.. the drugs they made me take my whole life fucked with me. The anti depressants never did anything. I've tried everything to try and feel normal, to try and feel something, and the only thing that has ever worked for me was recreational/party drugs. But, unfortunately, that is unacceptable in society today, so I was forced to abandon that form of treatment. Here I am today, in my sober mind, and it is fucking hard man trust me. Some of us just think differently and just do not fit in, and can not relate to anybody, at all. I learned that the only person I can rely on, is myself, since nobody understands what I'm trying to say when I try to describe what is going on inside of me. It's tough, it really is, but you get used to it. I used to have alot of friends.. like I knew the whole town, but that was because I was on ecstasy, alcohol, and pain killers all the time and I wasn't my true self. The friends I had gathered, only liked my drugged self. My sober self is who I really am, and who I really am is someone that is emotionally disconnected, and alone. I've come to accept that and I am neutral about it. I do not long for friendship. I have become to accept that my one best friend in this world, is myself. When you can live with yourself, then you can live your life. And it has only been recently that I have been able to live with myself, sober, and without drugs.
I had you in my thoughts and prayers today. Keep your head up.
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