Sixx_Psychonaut
Greenlighter
- Joined
- May 19, 2023
- Messages
- 9
Hey everyone,
a couple of months ago I tried to commit suicide with legal substances.
I was sitting in my room in a share house and after consuming an overdose I realized if they find my dead body it could traumatize them so I went out onto the streets at night which are usually quiet in my area and not too many people around.
by some coincidence there was a nurse walking home who found me unconscious and did CPR on me for 14 minutes and i was told during this time my heart wasn't working for 10 minutes.... yes, I defiantly wasn't planning on coming back from this suicide attempt and not happy around opening my eyes in that ICU, it was a huge dose of what i consumed (which I won't go into as to not give others any ideas).
I woke up in the Intensive care unit and was in the hospital for a week, since getting out i have had the mental health triage coming out to visit me every day for the first week, they put together a plan but didn't follow through with it. so, since I have been fighting this want to commit suicide every day, sometimes every hour of every day still very suicidal.
before my attempt I had presented at a few hospitals telling them I was suicidal which resulted in a number of hospitals discharging me with no support.
it seems as though people who use drugs Arnt seen as deserving of support with their mental health even though the drugs that I was self-medicating towards the end was keeping me alive and as functional as can be and without them, I would have tried to end my life a lot sooner.
it still seems to go unheard and seen that any substance use in a situation like this is the issue rather than it being the symptom of underlying issues. I would rather end my life although there are people around me that are trying to get me to stay here so....
wondering if anyone else has had these experiences like this and how they found supports from people who understand Lifeline has stopped their Eclipse program and no other accessible supports for suicide survivors but only family and friends of people who have died from suicide so not really much out there?
TIA from a PWUD.
a couple of months ago I tried to commit suicide with legal substances.
I was sitting in my room in a share house and after consuming an overdose I realized if they find my dead body it could traumatize them so I went out onto the streets at night which are usually quiet in my area and not too many people around.
by some coincidence there was a nurse walking home who found me unconscious and did CPR on me for 14 minutes and i was told during this time my heart wasn't working for 10 minutes.... yes, I defiantly wasn't planning on coming back from this suicide attempt and not happy around opening my eyes in that ICU, it was a huge dose of what i consumed (which I won't go into as to not give others any ideas).
I woke up in the Intensive care unit and was in the hospital for a week, since getting out i have had the mental health triage coming out to visit me every day for the first week, they put together a plan but didn't follow through with it. so, since I have been fighting this want to commit suicide every day, sometimes every hour of every day still very suicidal.
before my attempt I had presented at a few hospitals telling them I was suicidal which resulted in a number of hospitals discharging me with no support.
it seems as though people who use drugs Arnt seen as deserving of support with their mental health even though the drugs that I was self-medicating towards the end was keeping me alive and as functional as can be and without them, I would have tried to end my life a lot sooner.
it still seems to go unheard and seen that any substance use in a situation like this is the issue rather than it being the symptom of underlying issues. I would rather end my life although there are people around me that are trying to get me to stay here so....
wondering if anyone else has had these experiences like this and how they found supports from people who understand Lifeline has stopped their Eclipse program and no other accessible supports for suicide survivors but only family and friends of people who have died from suicide so not really much out there?
TIA from a PWUD.
