I just wanted to dedicate this blog to A, who passed away 3/24/12. Although I was not close to him, he was in my circle of friends. I don't have too many details, but the gist of it was that he wasn't feeling well, went to the bathroom to puke and had a heart attack. My other buddy, AY, went into the bathroom to check on him because he was in there for a while and found him unconscious. 911 was called but it was too late.
This hit so close to me because it's very similar to how my mother died -- I woke up, found her unconscious on the floor, called 911, but it was too late. I suppose that's what triggered my coke binge yesterday. It's extremely stupid to be like "OMG, this guy I knew had a heart attack and died and I'm really fucking sad" and then start doing coke... but that's what makes a drug addict a drug addict. Right? Illogical thoughts and actions and reactions and compulsive behaviors.
I got about 4 hours of sleep last night after knocking myself out with Dilaudid and Xanax and whiskey... Stupidity, I know. But the comedown from the coke was so fucking harsh. Kind of reminded me why I quit 8 years ago. I recently picked it back up again because it's been around, it's been cheap and it's been excellent fucking quality.
So to sum it up, RIP A and may we all make better decisions when faced with feelings we can't deal with.
This hit so close to me because it's very similar to how my mother died -- I woke up, found her unconscious on the floor, called 911, but it was too late. I suppose that's what triggered my coke binge yesterday. It's extremely stupid to be like "OMG, this guy I knew had a heart attack and died and I'm really fucking sad" and then start doing coke... but that's what makes a drug addict a drug addict. Right? Illogical thoughts and actions and reactions and compulsive behaviors.
I got about 4 hours of sleep last night after knocking myself out with Dilaudid and Xanax and whiskey... Stupidity, I know. But the comedown from the coke was so fucking harsh. Kind of reminded me why I quit 8 years ago. I recently picked it back up again because it's been around, it's been cheap and it's been excellent fucking quality.
So to sum it up, RIP A and may we all make better decisions when faced with feelings we can't deal with.
take care of yourself. 
