People doing strange things when rolling - how do you react

[anarchogen]

There's a vast difference between someone breaking into your house with a shotgun and somebody cupping your balls at a rave. If you are uncomfortable with someone doing the latter to you, there are many ways of saying "Don't do that, I'm not comfortable with it" besides attacking them.

If not for your own sake then at least for others please do not be so quick as to prove your strength by physically harming them before warning them, even many animals are more civil than that.

people cup my balls at raves, all the time

 

[crunchymilk]

there is always an alternative to violence? i beg to differ. if someone hits my wife, even thinks about fucking with my little girl, or any other of the scenarios involving violence and my family, that is an ass whipping and possibly more depending on the situation. what if someone breaks into your home with the intent to harm you and your family? if they come into my house its one warning then a shotgun slug to the chest. i dont play with my family's lives. and as for the person who said punching the guy was homophobic, where do you get off? just because he hit him doesnt automatically make him a homophobe. i would have done the same thing in his situation and im not a homophobe. in favt my brother in law is gay. why is it that if a guy grabs on a girl he doesnt know its "oh he is a pervert" or "someone should beat his ass" but when a guy grabs another guy if that guy hits him he is a homophobe? you are being just as inconsiderate at the "homophobe" you are blasting.

If your life is in danger or the lives of your loved ones then I think people can forgive you for using any means to save them or yourself. But this can go on forever, you can create hypothetical situations for anything that will favor one solution over another. I'll rephrase that generally people who are violent will use violence when violence is not needed. You don't need to deck a gay dude just to prove your masculinity.

 

[pnut3844]

well that was aimed at crunchymilk, for saying there is always an alternative to violence. but people still havent answered my question. why is it that when a girl gets groped or what have you, everyone freaks out and people even throw punches (i have seen many posts about this) but if a guy grabs another guys balls, and he get pissed and throw a punch, he is "inconsiderate of him and his way of life" or a "homophobe" or what have you? the hell with that ill break it down for you. if a dude grabs a stranger's junk, be it opposite sex or not, they, imo, deserve the punch from the stranger, if they are so inclined to give one. hey im glad some of you can say "stop" and walk away but in my book that is crossing a big line, one that i dont tolerate. i would mention the fact that its also the same if i girl grabs a stranger thats a dude, but i seriously doubt any guys would have a problem with it, unless he is married or dating someone, or the girl is 300 lbs.

 

[anarchogen]

No means no

 

[crunchymilk]

well that was aimed at crunchymilk, for saying there is always an alternative to violence. but people still havent answered my question. why is it that when a girl gets groped or what have you, everyone freaks out and people even throw punches (i have seen many posts about this) but if a guy grabs another guys balls, and he get pissed and throw a punch, he is "inconsiderate of him and his way of life" or a "homophobe" or what have you? the hell with that ill break it down for you. if a dude grabs a stranger's junk, be it opposite sex or not, they, imo, deserve the punch from the stranger, if they are so inclined to give one. hey im glad some of you can say "stop" and walk away but in my book that is crossing a big line, one that i dont tolerate. i would mention the fact that its also the same if i girl grabs a stranger thats a dude, but i seriously doubt any guys would have a problem with it, unless he is married or dating someone, or the girl is 300 lbs.

Personally I wouldn't give a crap if a guy got punched for grabbing a girl. But do you really need to punch the dude? Maybe if he was belligerent and wouldn't take no for an answer but other than that it doesn't really help the situation.

 

[DreamFrequency]

well that was aimed at crunchymilk, for saying there is always an alternative to violence. but people still havent answered my question. why is it that when a girl gets groped or what have you, everyone freaks out and people even throw punches (i have seen many posts about this) but if a guy grabs another guys balls, and he get pissed and throw a punch, he is "inconsiderate of him and his way of life" or a "homophobe" or what have you? the hell with that ill break it down for you. if a dude grabs a stranger's junk, be it opposite sex or not, they, imo, deserve the punch from the stranger, if they are so inclined to give one. hey im glad some of you can say "stop" and walk away but in my book that is crossing a big line, one that i dont tolerate. i would mention the fact that its also the same if i girl grabs a stranger thats a dude, but i seriously doubt any guys would have a problem with it, unless he is married or dating someone, or the girl is 300 lbs.

It's all about the intent, you have to go with the flow and treat each situation independantly, someone sober obviously really trying to fondle your crotch is different from someone rolling balls trying to cup your nuts and will probably regret it if they remember it the next day. I would have thought being on MDMA you would have a much greater sense of empathy to judge the situation and act fairly.

 

[Bearlove]

Did you not tell him you were rolling balls and he misunderstood :D

This has nothing to do with how comfortable you are with your sexuality this is about being groped against your will. To do nothing is giving the message that this kind of behaviour is acceptable which it certainly is not (depending on the club that is).

Some people react differently to the same situation - I personally think that punching the guy in the face would be the standard reaction to a lot of people.

I can feel a poll coming on :D

 

[SGHteller]

Fighting could also get you bouncer-walked off site. You know the walk, the one where you have to check your shoulder after to see if it's still in the socket.

Just say "Hey, not cool!" and let it go. If they keep doing it, tell security or the promoter. No reason to kill people's roll and ruin their night with violence unless it's the last possible option.

 

[Bearlove]

I tried to make a poll but somehow messed up the options

IF this was a multiple choice reply I would push him away and then if he didnt get the message I would punch him in the face :D

 

[mdmaftw!]

In that particular instance I would have just pushed his hand away and continued dancing.

It doesnt matter if your rolling or not if your uncomfortable with a situation do something about it -

You need to remember that not everyone going to raves are high and some go just to mess around with the people there - you know the ones, can you lend me some money for some water (professional beggers targeting high people). Same rule applies to people wanting to touch you!

straight up bearlove !

But id 1 punch some person for groping if its a guy, i think if a girl groped me on mdma id just grope her back LOL

What it comes down to is not what why they grabbed me but why, if your doing it accidentally(a guy) then w/e man dont do it again or ill beat the shit outta you, if a gal does it on purpose or accidentally im prolly gonna go with the flow, hey im high and im happy and I want to have more fun so why not? ^^ ofc if she did it accidentally and SHE says stop, im going to stop ^^

 

[Special J]

I think it's basically an occupational hazard of being a raver. Sure it sucks that unwilling people are sometimes subjected to that kind of thing, but especially with a tentative groper, I can see how that might be construed as just an inevitable part of experience. Like secondhand weed at a concert. People know that they're going to a place where a lot of weird people are under the influence of a lot of weird drugs. Shit's gonna happen. You can stay home. Now as for myself, I'd punch the guy, but that's more about my desire to participate in a good rave fight than any personal vendetta.

 

[!_MDMA_!]

if hes just super out of it id probably just walk away. what would socking someone do when theyre not even coherent to act normal? but if somebody was knowingly taking advantage of high people theyre asking for a beating

 

[Jabberwocky]

i don't believe that being mashed absolves anyone of responsibility for their actions.

i've had someone try to grope me whilst i was fucked up, and they clearly thought it was totally ok. being treated like a total strangers property kinda ruined my high. would never resort to violence but was quite vocal about it. i don't think the guy got it though, he just thought i was being an asshole for not letting him feel me up.

i don't see how sexual harassment should be an occupational hazard of anything.

i find it quite worrying that there's so much discussion of reacting violently to this. in this situation surely some strong words should suffice?

 

[ashtray girl]

There is nothing "inevitable" about being felt up! It isn't something you just "have to put up with".

Depending on how/where I was groped (or saw a friend being assaulted), I would tell the person to stop it and if that didn't stop them or it was a serious assault then I'd bite their fucking ear off. I'm not a violent person, but sexual assault isn't something you have to live with because you are a raver - being at a party/club isn't an open invitation to nonces.

 

[Bearlove]

There is nothing "inevitable" about being felt up! It isn't something you just "have to put up with".

Depending on how/where I was groped (or saw a friend being assaulted), I would tell the person to stop it and if that didn't stop them or it was a serious assault then I'd bite their fucking ear off. I'm not a violent person, but sexual assault isn't something you have to live with because you are a raver - being at a party/club isn't an open invitation to nonces.

QFT - I personally would seriously hurt a person if they were messing around with a friend of mine against thier will. (I have done and will do again)

 

[Bsiren]

My girl friend was rolling all by herself at a club on Saturday, and a man literally reached into her pants to grab her but- I think when people try to take advantage of rolling people, it's reallllly not cool. I've had men get confused when I won't make out with them or let them touch me immediately- I think part of MDMA should be about trust, looking out for eachother, and non-sexual intimacy.

On the other hand, I've been asked by men who are rolling, while my boyfriends standing there if it was OK to touch or kiss me, and if they are genuinely wondering if me and my boyfriend have an "agreement", I usually say "sorry, only hugs! We're monogamous" smile, and we're all best friends all night. Everyone understands, and it never comes up again.

There's just a general conduct about it- if you're respectful, you get a lot further. Whether we are out drinking, rolling, or just listening to music sober at a club, if a person genuinely just wants to let me know he finds me attractive, I would never get upset, and my boyfriend almost always says "thanks bro!" LOL

If I'm rolling, and someone is extremely sexually inappropriate I usually walk away or I might alert security if I reallllly had to.

 

[blessedamines]

i think this thread is pointless and just causing arguments, come on lets make more constructive shit, and FUCK violence, such a stupid way to prove a point unless someone is being violent back

 

[Bearlove]

It is far from pointless - were discussing people being abused when under the influence of MDMA.

Violence is not the answer but sometimes it is deemed necessary to protect yourself or friends from harm / abuse etc