Thanks for the support Xork. I'll share more wealth(wealth being a generously used term) on the subject when I have a bit better grasp on success and the means in which I arrived. We've done this before my friend and we can do it again.
Thanks brother, you're right, we both can do it again (and swilow, too).
Last time I did an ibogaine flood dose and it truly was a miracle, it rearranged my subconscious mind and even though I felt minor withdrawals coming out of it, I had zero desireto do opiates... the very idea seemed like the definition of insanity to me. And continued to for 5 years. I am afraid to do it again though, because my two mentors both did it again after relapsing and had traumatic experiences they refused to go into detail about and they both died soon after, strongly (strongly) suspected suicide. So... yeah, there couldn't be a stronger reason to think maybe I need to do it all on my own this time.
Opiate withdrawal is just so... fuck I hate it. I become unable to do anything, and I have a very high-functioning job and also am in a band that plays shows and I can't play for shit either, basically I just curl up into a fetal position and sit in hot showers... as my oldest friend puts it, I become "a cold bitch" (as in, I feel cold and also feel like a weak and useless person). Last time I tried to go cold turkey, 2 days in my boss was asking me what was wrong with me. Actually, that was the time before, the last time, I rented a cabin in the woods, and me and my friend stayed there with no cars, for a month, and worked out a ton, and hiked and talked and played music when we felt a little better. It was actually amazing, but taking all my vacation time in one "vacation" was difficult to do.
Anyway, excuses, I know... but nothing makes me feel more hopeless and weak and pathetic than opiate withdrawal.
My plan is to keep tapering suboxone until I get to a microscopic amount and then jump off, and hope it's not too bad. Right now, I'm crushing the pills and mixing it into a homogenous powder, and weighing it with my milligram scale. I'm actually stuck at 120mg twice per day (about 5mg total per day), but it's just been an intense couple of months. My plan, ultimately, is to reduce by 1mg of pill powder per dose, daily or every 2 days. Seems like there's no way I'd notice the difference, especially since I feel nothing from suboxone whatsoever anymore. I just need to convince my suboxone doctor to keep me with the pills... he is trying to get me to switch to the strips for going below 8mg, because they're easier to cut... I am kinda nervous about telling him I'm crushing the pills to weigh them with my milligram scale. But honestly I hate the strips, they don't seem to work as well for me, plus the crushing and weighing method seems like it will work WAY better for reducing/tapering.
Your posts give me hope @somnilicious I'm shit at tapering myself and have just basically sat on the same semi steady 2-3mg bupe dose for a few years. I actually describe myself as tapering but its essentially wishful thinking. I'm just sick of waking up and feeling anxious- although it's mild anxiety, it's only relieved by bupe and that sucks to me. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna simply tear the band aid off soon and dive into the abyss.
Same for me, I often will wonder why I'm feeling anxious and weird, and then I'll realize I forgot to take my suboxone (I divide the dose in half and take half when I wake up and half 12 hours later, but I often forget about the nighttime dose, I have even forgotten entirely before when I was hanging out/partying with friends, that is, until the morning when I'm actually withdrawing and not just feeling off). I like that I am not obsessed with it and there couldn't be less desire to take more to try to get high... getting high from opiates is something that I don't even think about. I sometimes wish I was on methadone so I could actually get some sort of ice feelings from my maintenance, but I think feeling nothing (except lack of withdrawal) is beneficial to me. But yeah, it's weird. I'm nearly 100% certain I have low testosterone from it, in fact I think that's likely part of why I don't feel very good, like mostly ever. I actually have an appointment with a hormone doctor next week about it.
Anyway, Wednesday morning thoughts- I wonder what would happen if one were to take say 20% of a full dose of 5 different 2c-x chemicals at once. Some sort of Frankenstein trip, or just lots of mild annoyance. Surely someone has done this very scientific drug eating experiment.
I don't think I've ever combined more than 2 of them. I will say, 2C-E seems to overpower everything for me. I even combined it with MDMA once, and detected nothing but 2C-E.
My guess would be that it would be enjoyable, but would muddy it so that the unique characteristics of each would be harder to find.
Also, the 2C-Xs are all basically chemical gold nowadays, except for 2C-B which is always available. No one makes them anymore.