holy fuck last night i went on the most powerful trip of my entire existence. This k hole was fucking mad blew away any trip i ever had before. Thank fuck it induces amnesia to a degree it was fucking insanity. This was beyond anything. FUcking blew me away.
Fuck I discovered some deep insights into my own being and darkest parts of my mind. It scared the fucking shit out of me. i have been in many many k holes. But this topped a new fucking level. Just wow. No words can be start explaining what i experinced. This was beyond death. Gone for a endless eon with no way back. this made psychedelics look like childs play lol.
No wonder we can't bring back shit from that realm. Its just pure utter fucking insanity. I understood it all beyond all humans things and the world. The wild waves of consciousness as i surfed through infinity. I understood where I came from and my unfolding fractal pattern of life. I saw the darkest parts of reality, as i was plunged into the depths of the unconsciousness.
I was slung across the void into utter insanity and sheer madness. In those depths I saw through the duality into oneness of all. Including the union of darkness and light. Through this I transcended my human identity and was plunged further into the endless mysteries of life, the universe and god.
This made my first acid trip look fucking tame in comparison.
Thank fuck ketamine puts you out of action. Reality was turned inside out.
I only tried san pedro-peruvianus mix, once, that's the only phenethylamine (psychedelic) I've ever taken...
Which one would you recommend to me? I like playful and introspective psychedelics, some mystic experiences is also nice if it's not too dark.
For example, I like low dose lsd, medium high dose of LSA (HBWR) for the mystic aspect, 4-ho-mipt and ho-met, and I liked a lot the cactus.
2c-c high dose could be good? I like to feel creative thoughts, I think 4-ho-mipt is a very mental substance in the sense of enhancing creative and intelectual thoughts.
It's not easy to find 2c-b in my area nor I want to get into dark-net.
Cool!Honestly, I think 2C-C sounds great for what you're asking for. It will be a treat if you've never used a phenethylamine aside from mescaline and likely expand your perspective on what psychedelics can actually be like. 2C-C is incredibly laid back, fun, and a useful tool for examining one's own psyche without too much alteration, at least in my opinion. It does also have the potential to be surprisingly deep for what it is but is highly unlikely to throw you for any kind of loop. I used mine up very quickly unfortunately as it was just so nice that I couldn't resist going back again and agin.
P.S., I promise I haven't forgotten about your PM, I was posting a lot for a few days and then took a bit of a break. I'll get to it soon!
i might have to switch back to psychedelics one day. Ket is just so fucking dark. Its one hell of a ride literally. At one point i was seeing demonic entities in the void true horror. Unspeakable horrors that I am happy that the amensia of the k hole mostly removed. I was certain I was not going to come back this time around. I was gone for so long I forgot what human life was.
It only reinforced how little we actually know of reality.
I would say it made me mentally stronger surviving such a insane experience.
Made me confront the darkest moments of my life in full force. Teleported back in time to those fucking dark moments. Allowed me to gain a deeper insight.
I could observe that all thoughts are loops. We are always stuck in some loop. Having the tools to break free out the loops that trap us in our daily life is key to improving our current situation.
Cool!
I want to end with the RC quest since I'm increasingly worried about the long term possible side effects on my organs so I want to get some basic interesting psychs (my favourite class) and then consider it "closed". I really want to delve into phenethylamines for a while, to see if I love them and what can contribute to my self-development.
I've read very interesting (and with completely surprising coincidences) posts of you somewhere else and I would like to comment it with you whenever you're free cause I'm sure you know a lot about it. I can wait, don't worry![]()
btw, when I wrote about the reserpine what I wanted to say (perhaps it wasn't clearly implied) it's that I also consider that molecule a somewhat euphoric anti-psychotic, and it probably has something to do with the yohimbane indole structure, is so interesting. Apparently it can cause "depression-like" symptoms in some people, when took long-term, but my hypothesis is that it shouldn't be used everyday, since the half-life is absurdly long and the build up can be surely unhealthy.
Its one hell of a ride literally.
Yep,2C-C is definitely a good start but I recommend trying at least one alkyl too like 2C-E or 2C-P, and I'd recommend 2C-E personally if you can choose between the two. It's certainly a standout molecule to me and many others and a notably different experience from the halogenated ones, highly emotional and cathartic for me although I've known others to describe it as neutral (but still hold it in great respect).
I'm certainly happy to talk about that stuff whenever, we can do it in the PMs if you want to take it there.![]()
Yep,
will start with that basic, maybe also getting some 2c-d if I could and then search for the alkyl ones (that are more difficult to find, for me at least, in Europe). That "emotional and cathartic" sounds great! I'm more and more interested in lucid dreaming (always have been a lucid dreamer but I kinda lost the ability to do it often) so I would investigate that for a while, after the psychs and during kratom t-breaks. I think kratom affects negatively the dream recall when done long term. I've been to some places in dreams where you come back as if you were in the most amazing psych trip ever. Emotional and cathartic for sure.
in the PMs would be better as some things are kinda private and intimate (refering to my "surroundings").
Gonna sleep, have a good time!
καληνυχτα!
Ima take another break ran out anyway lol. Before that i had been sober for a long time even stopped drinking after I got into it for a while. Alot of shit on my mind i had to work through.
Now I know the areas of my life I have to work on. I think alot of this darkness is just endlessly reading about the war. I need to stay away from the media. Consuming such negative material daily leads to alot of shit building up in the unconscious parts of the mind.
Im going to change my life to be of more service to the world its the only thing I can do to at least make a positive impact. I aint no fucking innocent, I admit I'm flawed deeply and pretty fucking twisted. But i want to change, I want become a better person. I want to give up the judgements and hate I have for my fellow humans. Im sick of the restless dark thoughts that plagued my mind.
My heart and mind grew very cold and dark last year after getting used by every women i met last year. It made me lose my self and I lost my way. It all built up and built up till it hit this breaking moment I guess in the trip where all the stress of the world and pain took me into the darkest wounds of my psyche.
And yeah it a endless loop nearly, I could recognize parts of the k hole and my mind I had been to before. It even took me on a throwback to many of my acid trips. It was a true grand tour of everything. Expect there was no light and love at all. I was crushed like an ANT. Im grateful to of made it back. Scared straight sober is a term i would use lol.
I came to accept my own dark human nature and others. This is just the start of another journey, I have alot more work to do than I could of ever thought.
I always knew i was broken and hurt, but not on this level. The amount of unhealed wounds I came across in my life that I have to start addressing was more than I ever realized. And drugs won't fix myself. I have to taken steps sober to healing.
Has anyone ever experienced loss and had that been afraid to take a psychedelic? Shit I don’t even know if that makes sense. I dunno.
Thank you for the response. I appreciate you talking about it.I lost my dad, and to a lesser extent, but still significantly, my cat, in a pretty short time of each other. I was cautious about tripping after that. But in the end, it ended up helping me. But I'm glad I waited until the rawness of it died down some.
Still been having mild chest pains and tightness since the Methylphenidate binge, I feel so stupid. Why did I have to take four pills I think I fucked myself up. Me and my girlfriend are most likely going to the hospital today so I can get an EKG done. More than likely my days with stimulants are over. This has me very concerned as you can imagine. Hope someone can learn from my mistake, don't ever go on a high dose binge with Concerta it is very dangerous and could have lasting complications. If I end up going to the ER today I will let you all know how it turns out. Have my fingers crossed it's nothing serious.
I had a very severe panic attack from recklessly taking methylphenidate pills once, luckily that's all it was. It definitely made me feel like I was dying at the time. Hope it's nothing serious for you too, sometimes if you let those kinds of feelings get to you they can stick around like phantom sensations even if there's nothing actually going on. A lot of the time I get feelings like that it turns out to be gas but my brain is trained to freak out about it now if I let myself get carried away with it.
That's what I'm hoping for as well Kaleida that it's just some sort of phantoms shit being caused my my anxiety concerning the situation. It's not very painful just a mild sorta tightness and stronger sensation every once in awhile. My left arm isn't numb, not nauseous, don't have headache so the other symptoms of a heart attack aren't present.
Methylphenidate can be a strong bronchodilator and causes vasoconstriction, so maybe my lungs are sore from what happened or my body up there in general. I'm not really sure what's going on I was able to get thru work last night and it was pretty labor intensive and I was fine besides a coupleild chest pains. It's more like uncomfortable cause I'm feeling sensation in a part of my body that you normally don't, and everytime it happens my anxiety goes thru the roof and so I'm caught in this cycle.
Back in the day when I was abusing JWH-018 in pure powder form in extreme amounts. Smoking huge amounts all day layered between plant matter I started to get chest pains in the same manner after like 8 months, it had me freaked out and was the reason I stopped the synthetic cannabinoids. This feels very similar to what was happening back then an uncomfortable sensation in the body your not normally having feeling.
I hope I'm gonna be okay, if the pain every got intense I would have gone to hospital before now. But since I have day off work my girlfriend is driving down here and we are going together cuz Saturday is the day of the week we always hangout. So even tho it's not the ideal situation at least I get to spend time with her and have the support by my side.