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☮ Social ☮ PD Social Talk Thread: Firly Swolks Discussing Mitillating Tatters Fithout Wilters

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Wow. Reading what you guys are doing left me really speechless.

I am totally aware that everyone should decide for herself what is best and how the rewards of a drug are weighted against the risks. Reading what you guys consume makes this pretty difficult;)
 
psy997 said:
AMT has serotonergic effects similar to MDMA so I've found almost none unless stimulation can cause anxiety for you. It's about the most outright euphoric psychedelic I've tried.
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^This. AMTs emopathogenic effects tend to make it very easy going. I used to take it in clubs and then go to house parties where everyone was on coke and MDMA and had no problems mingling and fitting in with everyone else. Couldn't really say the same for LSD.
 
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psy997 said:
AMT has serotonergic effects similar to MDMA so I've found almost none unless stimulation can cause anxiety for you. It's about the most outright euphoric psychedelic I've tried.
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Totally agreed 100%. AMT is outright euphoric, empathogenic, it's closer to MDMA than a psychedelic for me. The come-up can be janky, but then it's glowing and beautiful. Mescaline-like kind of. It's actually quite intoxicating too. My pupils are massive saucers and I want to talk to absolutely everyone. So much fun.

drseltsam said:
Wow. Reading what you guys are doing left me really speechless.

I am totally aware that everyone should decide for herself what is best and how the rewards of a drug are weighted against the risks. Reading what you guys consume makes this pretty difficult;)
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I've done a ton of psychedelics/drugs over the years... I didn't start out doing large combos/binges like that and I wouldn't recommend it for someone either unless they had a similar amount of experience. I've also always had a freakish constitution for drugs. The AMT to next night was the worst idea of the whole thing since I had taken a serotonin releaser the night before, and the AMT further drained me. I don't take that many drugs very often, but it's really fun sometimes. I only would have left out the etizolam, it was pointless and made me forgetful...of course when I took it I thought I was about to go to sleep so the point was the knock me out.

Anyway yeah, I would say that if you do that sort of thing, make it a rare event. When I was younger I did that sort of usage regularly, and eventually really wore myself out for a while and took 3 years off psychedelics. These days I keep it for special party weekends here and there, and music festivals.
 
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Blacking out is the worst. It's not even just that I tend to do stupid stuff when I'm blacked out. It's that good times don't really matter if you can't remember having them.
 
I apparently didn't do anything stupid, I was clearly rolling on 4-FA but conversing, doing stuff, etc, I don't think anyone knew I was blacked out. I was even doing nitrous. I just don't remember it at all. I hate that, exactly for the reason you said. I want to remember my good times.

The first time I ever took more than 1mg of etizolam, I had taken MDMA (which makes me have little memory gaps on its own), and I smoked DMT next to the ocean while blacked out, no memory of that at all either but everyone assumed I was present. Benzos are weird. Like I said I wouldn't have taken it if I hadn't thought I was about to go to bed, and had too much residual stimulation to sleep. Wish my friend would have called to tell us he was bringing us to the after party 5 minutes sooner!
 
I'm finally admitting to myself that I'm depressed. With that admission and acceptance I can now take the necessary steps to move out of it though.

This track makes me feel all good though :)

 
Thanks, it was a lot of work :x

Learning Arduino was one of the fun parts for sure! I do have a temperature and humidity sensor on each level, they are meant to become different 'biotopes', a hot arid one and a humid warm-but-milder one. HID heats the former (upper) level and I have a heating cable in the other one, set to react to the sensor.
However I want to improve on that by blowing air through wet perlite and rigging the heating cable like a web to blow that humid air through...

Another Arduino is meant to cooperate with the current one so that I have enough pins to support my TFT screen to show the temperature and status etc... however it won't upload anything whatsoever and I don't know what's going on with it. It has to be a special one operating at 3.3V.
Damn now that I think of it, maybe I will have to do acrobatics to have it communicate with my normal 5V one. (logic level conversion)

Hopefully I can just find another TFT screen that is 5V (the screens are relatively cheap in this entire plan :D) and be done with this.

Anyway, logging data is doable -easy really. What to do with the data is more work.

Figuring out the programming is accessible and fun, at some point it can get time-consuming but I don't think it gets tedious - go for it! Maybe you already know exactly how to do all this and just haven't done that particular weather station project... :)
 
Awesome @solipsis, good luck with it. Those'll be some killer tomatoes man :). i plan on implementing the monitoring of data for the weather station via a locally hosted website using a wifi shield to access the arduino from the network. That was the idea at least. Some basic JavaScript to do the data logging and display remotely which I need to learn how to do. You might consider that option as well instead of the 5 V TFT screen (or in addition to it) if it comes down to it, that way you can monitor the data from the comfort of your desk. never got around to it mostly cause of laziness and inertia tbh; aside from a few new concepts to learn the programming and building I've done so far on arduino was pretty straightforward.
 
psy997 said:
I'm finally admitting to myself that I'm depressed. With that admission and acceptance I can now take the necessary steps to move out of it though.
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Well don't hold out clue me in. I've been looking for those steps over half my life.
 
For the past two years or so, I've adapted the attitude that depression is part of my personality and that fighting it is futile... But since I accepted this, I got better at overcoming depressive episodes and functioning better while in that state. Acceptance really took some pressure off, which helps a lot.

Don't get me wrong, depression sucks ass, but since there is no easy way out, at least for me, not hating myself because I am depressed is already a huge improvement.
 
Acceptance and commitment therapy worked for me - it's incredibly hard to accept certain things in life. Rumination, self-judgement, feelings of shame etc will not help you at all - it helps to try and observe your thoughts instead of identify with them, see them for what they are, passing and transient, and not a definition of who/what you are.

Depression is just a natural state imo, you can't be happy all the time, but at the very least you can be aware of your mental state and see it for what it is, impermanent.

You shouldn't hate yourself, it will lead you into a self-fulfilling unwarranted amount of suffering.

If this sounds like hippie mumbo jumbo, forgive me but I took 2C-B last night :p
 
yepyepwoah said:
Well don't hold out clue me in. I've been looking for those steps over half my life.
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Hahaha.... Not to laugh at your depression.

But I'm naturally not a very depressed or down person. Before about September I was the happiest I've been my entire life, and had been for 6-9 months, because of regular exercise, meditation, journaling, and self as well as facilitated therapy. I know what I need to be happy, I just neglected it out of being unhappy that I had to do bullshit school work. I know that if I get back to journaling first thing in the mornings, running and lifting weights consistently, having a regular yoga practice, meditating, and generally focusing on myself, I'll be more than happy.
 
Yeah regular exercise and being in shape can't be emphasized enough, you feel so much better physically, mentally and emotionally, it's pretty amazing. I need to get back into that, haven't been working out or getting much cardio for a while. I can really tell the difference.
 
Yeah I definitely feel better with it, and something like having a lot of drinks can really make me feel like shit if I am not exercizing enough.

Not really the same as what you guys said about acceptance, but it made me think of this: Currently this week I am off my dexamph script to let some exhaustion come out and just re-zero, charge my batteries. I also meant to have an attitude this week of not pushing myself to do things too much. I don't like being a lazy dude sitting behind the computer all day, I have done enough of that during bad times... however I feel pretty good this week with the pushing myself less. I guess I was stressing myself out a bit with the dex, pushing to get a lot done. I am still productive enough but more relaxed doing it. So at some point it definitely starts to become a bad thing that I am speeding and tensed up, even though I am powering through with a lot of good things.

Maybe a good lesson to balance it more in the future and plan my activity and my rest very consciously.

Breathing exercises are also helping a lot to relax more often. I really didn't know how to relax properly.

My depression lifted when I started doing work at an inspiring place, work that is meaningful to me and that finally makes use of some of my qualities - in a much nicer way (it is grateful to work with your hands imo) than when I was in ICT. I am going to study again - i think - for a desk-computer job but there will be design / creativity and a link to tangible stuff.
Anyway that kickstarted everything - doing something meaningful motivated me to get everything in order, myself, my drug use, my home, everything.

I say depression, but not many cases are clinical depression I think. How depressed are you if you have a very good reason to feel bad? I guess it comes from sadness then, but just starts ruining other things - your motivation and willpower, ability to enjoy something..
 
Solipsis said:
My depression lifted when I started doing work at an inspiring place, work that is meaningful to me and that finally makes use of some of my qualities
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This is totally the case for me too. When I started making art and especially playing music again, my depression became a thing of the past. I put a lot of time and energy into it, and the action itself is so rewarding because I love it, it makes me feel great, and I feel like I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. It's the biggest factor in my getting past my long depressive phase, equally as important as getting out of opiate addiction and getting out of my bad relationship. Without having something to put my energy and time and creativity into, I would still be dissatisfied with my life, and bored a lot, and not feeling nearly as good about myself.
 
I have been staring at my derelict bike for a year. I rode the shit out of it, pavement and dirt trails. Crashed quite often. Never kept up with maintenance. Been out walking some local trails and I'm running down these drops like "WHY THE FUCK AM I NOT ON A BIKE". Fixing my old one isn't worth it, so I am about to get a new one. Fuckers are expensive, but riding 3-4x a week I remember feeling so fucking awesome. Always something to look forward too. Mental boost, genuine physical exhaustion and good sleep. Getting a new bike would probably be the most effective anti depressant for me right now.

That and winning the lottery so I can quit working and just skydive and hike aweseome mountain trails and have a personal chef that follows me cooking indian food because I'm lazy as fuck.
 
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