Hello bluelighters. I was using heroin for 6 years in a row. The last 2 years i came down clean, i moved to another country, i found a job and started fresh. Recently i met a guy that sells dynamite coke. Cocaine was never my drug of choice, mostly because i couldnt find the good quality i wanted neither did i care. I never experienced such bad psychological comedown from any other drug. Paranoia is setting up permanently and because something really bad happened recently i cannot show my face in the town anymore. I want to go out and have fun but is not feasible. I stay home and snort/inject/smoke all day long. Im a total mess and have lost almost 20kgs...Heroin pain is much harder and i managed to really quit but this shit is totally different. Any tips on how to cut this stupid habit? My finance is very limited.
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Paranoic Depression
- Thread starter Zamanfou
- Start date
T. Calderone
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2010
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Cocaine was harsh for me too since I have bipolar depression, the comedown effects can be brutal. It's not healthy for you to stay holed up in the house all day using plus losing all that weight. Do you have friends or family that you can socialize with? What about your job and work friends? I hate to think you can't go into town because someone might hurt you or are you more embarrassed?
This is going to sound dumb but one way to stop yourself from buying drugs is having someone you trust hold onto your money. Do they have NA or AA meetings nearby? I have a friend who quit crack by going to AA, just something to consider. You seem isolated and you need support. You have to reach out to someone and coming here is the first step. Let us know how you're doing.
This is going to sound dumb but one way to stop yourself from buying drugs is having someone you trust hold onto your money. Do they have NA or AA meetings nearby? I have a friend who quit crack by going to AA, just something to consider. You seem isolated and you need support. You have to reach out to someone and coming here is the first step. Let us know how you're doing.
Thanks for the interest. You got everything correct. I'm severely bipolar also and i've noticed the after-effects are harsher on me than other people. The nature of my job is very secretive and responsible and thus i'm closely monitored (in some things) with only one colleague. It was more embarrassement to the point that my girlfriend abandoned me and i have no excuses for what i did. Pretty much the same happened with the few friends i had. I always thought that NA/AA had nothing to offer me but things have changed and i will try it the next days. I have no family here and i've tried repeatedly reaching for help from these few friends to no avail. I really am completely isolated and crave for human contact but people say i am cruel and cynical without feelings. This is very far from truth, i only act and behave like this as a defence mechanism and instict that has gotten me out of difficult situations in the past. It may sound arrogant but i can easily see through people and their intentions and thus i get dissapointed easily and cannot adapt to society standards. For the first time of my 31 years of life i feel jealous of people having fun and getting on with their lives. Life in the Nordic country i live at the moment is especially harsh and unforgiving and due to the paranoia i mentioned earlier i cannot express myself and say what i want, to the full extent.
BTW your advice doesnt sound stupid at all. I really havent considered this and it is indeed useful since i just need a spark of genuine interest and human contact to start function again.
BTW your advice doesnt sound stupid at all. I really havent considered this and it is indeed useful since i just need a spark of genuine interest and human contact to start function again.
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Black Rabbit of Inle
Bluelight Crew
Hey Zamanfou,
Good luck with starting AA/NA. Taking that first step is hard but opens so many doors, such as socializing with new people, having access to information on therapists that can help you with your 'defense mechanism' (CBT will help here) as well as something to get you out of your house, even if it's only for a couple of hours a day. If AA/NA turns out to not be for you, there may be other options for recovery programs in your area (eg ones that don't require you to follow 'the steps')
Good luck with starting AA/NA. Taking that first step is hard but opens so many doors, such as socializing with new people, having access to information on therapists that can help you with your 'defense mechanism' (CBT will help here) as well as something to get you out of your house, even if it's only for a couple of hours a day. If AA/NA turns out to not be for you, there may be other options for recovery programs in your area (eg ones that don't require you to follow 'the steps')
Hmmm it really becomes better after a 2 day cool down. I really cannot believe that withdrawal is so short lived comparing to the hell of heroin. I have some mental issues but nothing heavy in terms of physical wd except a stuffed nose and shrunk veins. Paranoia is retreating and my mind feels a lot calmer. I was using for one and a half month non-stop close to 3 grams a day. Am i missing something here? Was i lucky? Is this the worst face of this shit?
I'd appreciate some answers from long-terms users that have first hand experience.
I'd appreciate some answers from long-terms users that have first hand experience.
herbavore
Bluelight Crew
I'm glad to hear that you are feeling calmer. Everybody has a different physiology but I would say that you are lucky to be feeling this good right away. How are you feeling psychologically (especially in regards to cravings)?