Panic attacks and anxiety - MDMA/Weed related?

[jerz92]

Hey, I took MDMA for the first time about 10 days ago. I think I overdosed as I had to stay outside in the smokers terrace all night, suffering from what I think were panic attacks.
I was a little shaken, but decided I would try MDMA the following weekend but in a much smaller dose. I was really nervous about the experience and had had a stressful week already. I dropped the MDMA bomb (about 125mg) and was quite anxious as I came up. I then had another panic attack on the smokers terrace but was alright 20 minutes later, and enjoyed the rest of my night.
I was chilling at my mates the next day smoking a bit of weed, and suddenly my vision went a bit blurred, i felt dizzy and confused, and I was hit with a massive sense of dread and fear. (This is what had been happening to me before when I previously mentioned panic attacks) . I had to leave, and the attacks came back in waves for about 3 hours, none quite as intense as the first few.
They finally wore off, and I went home the next day, feeling slightly nervous most of the day incase it came back. That night I smoked a joint with a friend, and was feeling normal again, we were all having a good laugh. I went to my room to chill and listen to music, and had another huge panic attack, completely out of no-where. This happened about midnight, and I was up until atleast 7AM because I kept having recurring attacks and couldn't sleep. I had a very unsettled night's sleep, and felt slightly better in the morning but recurring attacks of lesser intensity were still there.
That night I slept fine, woke up in the morning and was still feeling anxious. I have only had 2 or 3 moderate attacks today, and have been feeling better if I'm honest.
Along with the panic attacks, I am suffering with slightly blurred vision (not really noticable) and uncontrollable jaw clenching (not really noticable either)

I tend to panic most when I think about whether or not this is permanant damage. I'm hoping I just depleted my serotonin levels so much because I was stressed and anxious to take the drug anyway, and they will restore themselves over the next week or so and I will gradually feel better and better until it goes away.

I hope there's some people out there with similar experiences or knowledge that can put my mind at rest. Thanks a lot.

 

[Legerity]

It's extremely unlikely you did any sort of permanent damage. Did you test your pills? MDMA can trigger panic attacks in some people, but so can the other crap that pills are often cut with.

Anyways, give yourself some time to recuperate. Weed is also known to trigger anxiety so you may just need to avoid it until you start feeling better.

Don't stress about permanent damage, just be patient

 

[panic in paradise]

^
yeah be patient, try and not to smoke and give yourself a break.
if you feel troubled enough, maybe theres someone you know-?-who can point you in the right direction locally?

this is sadly common with such drugs, but just as typically it will pass eventually. over some time its easier, then easy to forget how bad the experience was, and going back seems mostly logical...
stay aware, its good to be asking, pleas do... this is just my 2 cents.

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

You'll be fine, just dont take any more for a very long time. I've said it many times: no matter how you look at it, MDMA is not a 'soft' drug.

 

[jerz92]

That's encouraging, thanks guys.
I plan to never take MDMA again (unfortunately) this has been a truly awful experience, can't really sum it up in words.
As for weed, I'm gonna stay clear for a very long time if not for ever.

This morning my vision seems a little clearer, my jaw is still moving about a little and I feel more depressed than anxious. I was able to go to sleep last night without having any major panic attacks. I'm hoping the depression will slowly pass and I'll go back to normal. I'll keep you posted if I do have any more attacks.

 

[theseeker]

I used to have the best times of my life smoking weed. It also really helped me get things done like school work and going to the gym, etc. I wasn't a guy who would just sit around and smoke- I'd actually want to get out into the world and bug out to to the people and things around me in a very positive way. Unfortunately, for reasons I can't explain, out of nowhere I'd just start getting panic attacks every time I smoked. I had to stop smoking weed- period. That really sucked given how positive a thing it was for me.

I can smoke every now and again- but these days it's a rarity. That just might be the route you have to take given your situation

 

[swilow]

I tend to panic most when I think about whether or not this is permanant damage. I'm hoping I just depleted my serotonin levels so much because I was stressed and anxious to take the drug anyway, and they will restore themselves over the next week or so and I will gradually feel better and better until it goes away.

I hope there's some people out there with similar experiences or knowledge that can put my mind at rest. Thanks a lot.

If you want to put your mind at rest; don't smoke anymore weed and don't take anymore MDMA. Not trying to sound harsh; just saying that you have the control over this situation. The panic has been precipitated by both substances, so a clear connection is present.

Its not permamant damage, or even damage. Just a result of being human However, if you continue to use drugs that are causing you panic, this may eventually spill into 'normal', everyday life. So go easy on yourself; its not that you can't ever take drugs again, it just appears that at this time of your life (for whatever reason) you need to avoid them.

If you find yourself starting to get panicky or anxious, start breathing slowly. Try and breath in through your nose for 4 seconds, hold it for 3 and breathe out through your mouth for 6 seconds. Nice deep breaths, not jerky gasps. Many panic symptoms are caused by hyperventilating, so you need to learn to control that.

You'll be fine

 

[jerz92]

I don't plan on touching drugs again for a very long time, if not forever.
I'm not sure if this is related but sometimes when I'm panicking or anxious i feel vaguely like I could be dreaming, and my jaw muscles are still tight. Vision is slightly blurred in my right eye. This is the 5th day since I took MDMA and 4th since I last smoked weed.
Is this all connected and will pass soon?

 

[swilow]

^The dreaming feeling is defintely panic induced. Its called derealisation (the external world doesn't feel/look real) or depersonalisation (you, within yourself, don't feel real). Both are quite similar and can be overcome (to an extent) by deep breathing; hyperventilating induces these sensations. One way I dealt with my own depersonalisation (and I experienced it to the extent of blacking out but I do have epilepsy so don't fear) is by actively exploring these states with intentional overbreathing or psychedelic drugs. I certianly don't suggest you do this though.

Panic SYMPTOMS:

Rapid heart beat, pounding heart or palpitations
Sweating
Shaking visibly or inside
Choking sensations or lump in throat (Globus Hystericus)
Smothering or shortness of breath sensations
Chest pain or discomfort
Nausea, bloating, indigestion or abdominal discomfort
Dizziness or unsteadiness
Feeling light-headed
Derealization (feeling unreal or dreamy)
Depersonalization (feeling outside yourself or like you don't exist)
Fear of losing control or going crazy
Paresthesias (numbness or tingling sensations) in face, extremities or body
Chills or hot flushes
Skin losing color
Blushing or skin blotches
Urgently needing to urinate or defecate
Inappropriate/Disturbed thoughts
Muscle pain, especially in neck or shoulders

Remember that none of these feelings are dangerous. They don't indicate that something is worng; they merely signify that your brain is OVER-responding to an external situation. Panic and terror is human beings' closest emotional connection to our own fully animal past. As such, the feelings appear unreasonable and over-the-top, but because we as humans can actively reason, we can rid ourselves of such pointless atavisms.

FWIW: the feeling of unreality is thought to be similar to the "rabbit trapped in headlights" freezing; an ancient defence mechanism of our minds to escape moments of extreme trauma. Once again though, this feeling is useless for humans.

Peace

 

[rollingstoned!]

If your name implies where you live, most rolls you get aren't MDMA.

 

[jerz92]

I'm feeling a little more normal this morning, I think it's slowly subsiding.
Thanks for all the replies everyone.
I live in Coventry in the UK, I know that most of the MDMA has been fairly pure as we have ground it from a crystal and wrapped it in a rizla, however I did take half a pill which I suspect was PMA.
Peace, i'll keep you all updated

 

[Jrpsg]

Hey jerz92, just wanted to respond and say that I experienced pretty much exactly the same thing you described for about 3 or 4 days last week. I kept going in and out of mild panic attacks, weird drunken-like vision, and then felt like I was on the verge of panicking all day long, so I would have to try and distract myself. I was on holiday for the week when it happened, and only subsided the day I was coming home, probably partly due to the anticipation of being in a "safe" environment.

The worst was definitely trying to sleep, as in my head I kind of rationalized that when I was asleep I could finally relax, but then the pressure of trying to achieve sleep made me panic all over again. That combined with the lack of distractions in a dark room was bloody awful. Tried falling asleep to some music which did help. I ended up buying some 5-HTP supplement pills which are supposed to help, and they did to a certain extent, as the panic/depression is AFIK caused by the serotonin crash you have after coming down from MDMA which 5-HTP fixes.

As for what willow said, I would say that rationalizing things is the opposite of helpful in that situation, as my mentality was skewed such that any deep thinking about what I was experiencing only led me to worse and more panicking conclusions. After that I tried not thinking about it, but that's like me telling you, "Don't think about an elephant". You can't help but think about it. Like you said, I probably won't take drugs again (at least not for a very long time) as it was too awful an experience.

The key in my mind is just to tell yourself that it will go away, and that it won't happen again or become a permanent thing. I kept thinking that I had "unleashed" some sort of panic disorder that would continue on into my normal life. It's that sort of mentality that seems rational at the time, but once you're through it everything's all right.