Mental Health Overpowering emotions and thoughts, deep and dreadful.

Barrenian

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 1, 2015
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I have periods in which, for about a week and a half at a time out of every month, I become overwhelmed with feelings..at everything, everyone. These emotions incapacitate me and I cannot function in public well, or be around loved ones at all without being highly aggressive and mean. My mind will force, yes, force, scenarios into my head in which I am placed in situations where someone is taking advantage of me, or someone is lying to me, or situations in which I am betrayed in some way, scenarios in which the actors are sometimes people from years past that I once knew, and others whom I have only met once or twice in my life. It forces upon me the feelings that result from being lied to or betrayed, and my chest gets tight and my heart palpitates. These feelings overcome me, and I literally have to sit down, and cover my face with my hands because these feelings, all at once, are going BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! in my head. It subsides after a week and a half, and for the rest of the month I am gleeful, tolerant, friendly, and 100% composed. It isn't good though, because it leaves others on edge, and they have acquired the habit of being timid around me, because they know that, when I am in a good mood, that soon it will change, and during this time they say "Why are you this way? You CHOOSE how you are." I tell them that it overcomes me! That I have NO CONTROL over these emotions. It has been like this for two years. Anyone else experience this type of thing? I don't like this, but I swear, the feelings that overcome me are the deepest, most visceral thing you can imagine, like being possessed by a spirit or something.
 
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It sounds like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (I prefer to think of the T as Training) could be very useful to you. To me it also sounds like you have an unaddressed rage that manifests in what have now become habitual thoughts. The rage is an emotion, but the thoughts (jealousy, violent images, etc) can be managed. The key is getting to the source of the rage. Is it old and buried? Is it old but constantly rekindled by circumstances in the present? Are you living a life that you are happy with, with people that you trust? Sometimes we confuse familiarity with satisfaction. Look closely at your life. Is it the one you want? If not, what would it take to create that one?
 
If it happens in a cycle like that there may be a chemical/hormonal issue. I'm hardly the person to know, I'm fairly ignorant about these technical things but it sounds suspect to me. I'd be seeing someone to have a physical check up around this issue. If it's emotional then a therapist may be of some help.
 
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