Flashbacks-
Greenlighter
- Joined
- May 5, 2014
- Messages
- 1
Wasn't sure where to post this, I just don't know what to do or if it's normal.
Sunday night, I think I overdosed it all started with one 7.5 mg zopiclone (imovane), one 5mg ritalin and weed. Zopiclone is supposed to be a sleeping pill but it just relaxes me and I was really anxious. It also makes me forget things, so I'm sure what happened next, I think I liked how I felt but needed more focus so I took a 15mg adderall XR which I chewed on if that makes any difference. Now this whole night is a blurr, I'm not sure how many pills I've taken and why I did it. But I know for sure I took a 27mg concerta ( which I cut in order to make it IR not xr.) 40mg ritalin, 75mg adderall and 22.5mg zopiclone (imovane)
My heart was racing (140 bpm), I was freaking out and didn't understand what I had done by the time morning came. I ended up in the hospital, where they told me I was attempting suicide which I really don't believe I was ( but it seems like those people knows my intentions more than I do... lol no seriously fck them.)
Went to the hospital on monday morning and got out in the afternoon after an awful day, nobody really knew I was there so I was alone,confused and angry.
When I got out in the afternoon, I went to see some friends because I didn't want to be alone. I was feeling alright, pretty good for a girl who spent an entire day bawling like a child ( seriously it was embarassing )
Even the next day ( monday which was yesterday ) I was feeling alright except when I went back to my appartment, I was at school the whole day but I felt really out of it because I didn't take adderall like I usually do ( I have ADHD and take 15mg XR everyday ) it was odd to me that I still felt alright though.
I went to my appartment and got anxious again, so I smoked weed( I hadn't really eaten all day or the day before aside from apple sauce at the hospital ), I still wasn't hungry but I ate, maybe too much, I'm not sure but I got nauseous, and went on my laptop where I fell asleep. it was 8pm yesterday.
Woke up at 4am, tired but ok. fell back asleep at 6 and I tried waking up multiple times but my eyes didn't seem to open at all.
Now all I wanna do is sleep, didn't show up to my classes I feel horrible because the end of the semester is close and I missed exams. I'm not sure what I should do now.
I haven't moved from my bed now and it's noon, there's so many responsabilities I took that I can't just runaway from... I don't have anymore adderall though, I don't know what to do tbh, I feel alone and sheltered because I don't think anybody will understand me. All I got so far was " Empower yourself, come on, you can do it, just go to your classes, kick yourself in the ass there's only 2 weeks left." Which makes me feel even more like shit instead of encouraging me since I really don't know how to show up to my classes when I can barely walk to my bathroom and shower.
Is this because of the somewhat overdose, or is it me withdrawing from adderall ? Or both ?
I do have some concerta left though, if I take it would I be worse and even more anti social ? I hated concerta back when I still took it.
This is less important but could it be that my muscle mass decreased in such a short period of time because of that ?!
Sunday night, I think I overdosed it all started with one 7.5 mg zopiclone (imovane), one 5mg ritalin and weed. Zopiclone is supposed to be a sleeping pill but it just relaxes me and I was really anxious. It also makes me forget things, so I'm sure what happened next, I think I liked how I felt but needed more focus so I took a 15mg adderall XR which I chewed on if that makes any difference. Now this whole night is a blurr, I'm not sure how many pills I've taken and why I did it. But I know for sure I took a 27mg concerta ( which I cut in order to make it IR not xr.) 40mg ritalin, 75mg adderall and 22.5mg zopiclone (imovane)
My heart was racing (140 bpm), I was freaking out and didn't understand what I had done by the time morning came. I ended up in the hospital, where they told me I was attempting suicide which I really don't believe I was ( but it seems like those people knows my intentions more than I do... lol no seriously fck them.)
Went to the hospital on monday morning and got out in the afternoon after an awful day, nobody really knew I was there so I was alone,confused and angry.
When I got out in the afternoon, I went to see some friends because I didn't want to be alone. I was feeling alright, pretty good for a girl who spent an entire day bawling like a child ( seriously it was embarassing )
Even the next day ( monday which was yesterday ) I was feeling alright except when I went back to my appartment, I was at school the whole day but I felt really out of it because I didn't take adderall like I usually do ( I have ADHD and take 15mg XR everyday ) it was odd to me that I still felt alright though.
I went to my appartment and got anxious again, so I smoked weed( I hadn't really eaten all day or the day before aside from apple sauce at the hospital ), I still wasn't hungry but I ate, maybe too much, I'm not sure but I got nauseous, and went on my laptop where I fell asleep. it was 8pm yesterday.
Woke up at 4am, tired but ok. fell back asleep at 6 and I tried waking up multiple times but my eyes didn't seem to open at all.
Now all I wanna do is sleep, didn't show up to my classes I feel horrible because the end of the semester is close and I missed exams. I'm not sure what I should do now.
I haven't moved from my bed now and it's noon, there's so many responsabilities I took that I can't just runaway from... I don't have anymore adderall though, I don't know what to do tbh, I feel alone and sheltered because I don't think anybody will understand me. All I got so far was " Empower yourself, come on, you can do it, just go to your classes, kick yourself in the ass there's only 2 weeks left." Which makes me feel even more like shit instead of encouraging me since I really don't know how to show up to my classes when I can barely walk to my bathroom and shower.
Is this because of the somewhat overdose, or is it me withdrawing from adderall ? Or both ?
I do have some concerta left though, if I take it would I be worse and even more anti social ? I hated concerta back when I still took it.
This is less important but could it be that my muscle mass decreased in such a short period of time because of that ?!
