• MDMA &
    Empathogenic
    Drugs

    Welcome Guest!
  • MDMA Moderators:

Outside the Matrix

N

Nambo

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 5, 2013
Messages
193
This may seem like a weird analogy but since my bad MDMA experience the world has just seemed 'off'. Like the world used to make sense but now it doesn't. Goals, life desires, relationships just seem so different and don't have the magic to them like they used to. The world used to be this exciting place full of opportunity, excitement and anticipation. It's like the colour has been stripped away and all you can see is the zeros and ones, ie the grey. The colour of life has gone and you are left with the mundane. I used to think the world was my oyster and now it's about existing. Anybody related to this?
 
That sounds like pretty normal comedown effects after doing MDMA. I'd associate those feelings as symptoms of depression. It will subside soon enough. Eat healthy, be active, socialize. Maybe take some 5-HTP to lessen the effects of the comedown.
 
The problem is that it's been a year now and no improvement. It's like the happy love life person I was has gone and all that is left is this empty human who is just existing and praying that this state will pass. Not even SSRIs help. I've lost my soul.
 
Last edited:
I felt exactly what you are describing. Probably still feel a little like that, but I remember the process of "coming back into the world". I'm not fully recovered, but after about 5-6 months I felt as if I had re-entered "the matrix" so to speak. I'm at a little over 9 months now.
 
I am thinking you're issue comes from extensive use and a bit of brain damage, I feel the same away after long-term opiate use. Some abstinence and brain re-wiring(conditioning), proper nutrition and maybe some medicated assistance may be needed to return to normal. Using drugs long term tends to tear away parts of your brain that interprets surroundings, motivation, drive, happiness, perception, etc.
 
Have you tried any psychedelics in the past year? Maybe a mushroom trip is in order to bring back the magic.
 
I think it's called growing up to be perfectly honest. I can relate to what you're saying from hitting late teens-early 20s. Maybe I'm just depressed. Heck, I'm having a bad day. I should just stop posting.
 
In high school I went through a number of existential periods where I felt like life was mundane and meaningless and just about existence and didn't see the point, and doing drugs definitely exacerbated that a bit (once I got past the initial "honeymoon" period, I guess), and I definitely do have days when I feel like that still. I've sort of gotten to a point where I've just come to terms with it, I guess (like JWills said, growing up, maybe?). IMO, it's kind of a matter of facing that mundane-ness. For me, I just had to come to terms with the fact that this is what life is and maybe it is mundane and doesn't make sense and is intrinsically boring but that's ok because you learn to deal with it. The reality of life can be depressing but it also doesn't have to be; in fact, I think it's actually tragically beautiful. The challenge of life is knowing that there isn't anything really special about it but realizing that that in itself is pretty special and you can make it what you want!

Lol just rambling...
 
Chicken or the egg for me personally.

I call it the sheen or shine wearing off of everything.

Did my excessive MD use create this or was i already feeling this way and self medicating? Prob A and B but it seems permanent now 7 + years on from "going down the rabbit hole"
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top