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out of third rehab realpsed after a week

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Dr.kush

Bluelighter
Joined
May 9, 2010
Messages
248
Location
Ventura
Last June at 15 years old my mom sent me to a rehab for detox after a year of heroin us, 4 months of which was IV use. I got out of rehab after 36 days, i had my 16 birthday (what a sweet 16 lol) in that rehab. After a week out of that rehab i relapsed after a week on alcohol. I began drinking everyday, and smoking weed daily. Within a couple i was strung out back on IV H again. That was August- October. And i was back in the same detox rehab in the same year! I as admitted on the night before Halloween. Then i stayed until December second. So i missed my birthday, Halloween, and my brothers birthday. On December second i was sent to Willow Springs Center in Nevada for three months. It helped a lot. Even though i missed every holiday in 2010 im glad i went.

But last Sunday i slammed Coke, only after a week of being out! What the fuck is wrong with me? And now that i lost all my clean time im thinking about saying fuck it and try to control using by just drinking, and thizzing cause if i want it bad enough i think i could control it, what do you think? I have so many goals i want, like joining the Army Rangers. But i think im just a lost cause, i dont want to lie anymore to my NA sponsor and mom. I just wish i can just disappear and use till i die, i LOVE heroin more than anything. I just dont know what to do. Im so lost and helpless, i want to be clean but i want to use too. I hope i will lose the desire its like a 2 way battle within myself. Do you have any experiences like mine? THANK YOU
 
Don't beat yourself, but be cautious as to how you move forward from here. Getting high once can be just that and does not need you need to escalate to the level you were at before.

You may benefit from scrapping the concept of "clean time" if it makes you more likely to binge because you feel you have wasted it away.

Have you ever been able to moderate your substance use in the past? It's a viable option for some although it is a learning process and carries its own risks. I have been attempting this and on more than one occasion I have lied to myself and broken rules that I've set up.

Have to find what works for you :)
 
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Yea , you are young man , chronic relapsing is a reality with addiction. I've been to more detoxes than i got fingers but I still look at today as today , not anything more or less. I remember when I realized that using heroin really started to suck when I wanted to quit. I lost a lot of things to heroin but I had money to support it and it was only when I wanted to quit that everything turned to shit. Now I have some clean time but still always have that war in my head , try to stay up man hit me up if you want I know how it is man.
 
First off I commend your attitude and will to get clean. Im trying to recover from heroin myself its the hardest thing ive ever done in my life. To me a relapse is only bad if you lose the will to quit. Otherwise you just use it as a learning experience and move on with your recovery. For me total abstinance is not possible I just love drugs too much so I take suboxone everyday and stay away from heroin. I think people put to much emphasis on quitting all drugs just focus on quitting opiates once your succesful at that you can reavaluate your life.
 
switching to drinking every day is not much better, I highly recommend you go on suboxone.
I have been on it about a year, and never felt better.

it takes away all the craving, and even if you do H you won't feel anything as long as you're on it.
And I haven't had much side effects from it. and most people who do have side effects, they usually reduce the dosage, it'll have the same effect, but less side effect.
 
If you think opiate WD is bad try out alcoholism cause it brings new meaning to the word hell. I would call it a living hell except i wouldnt really call it living :\ . As for slamming coke that fucked me up more in just 2 weeks then 6 years of opiate use and 1 year of IV opiate use did. I never had a problem snorting coke or even smokin rock really but that needle certainly adds another addiction on top of a horrendous drug as is.

So yeah maybe stay away from all addictive drugs for awile? Even if you fail once or twice keep trying and don't beat yourself up about it cause that will make ya wanna use more
 
shahab6 said:
switching to drinking every day is not much better, I highly recommend you go on suboxone.
I have been on it about a year, and never felt better.

it takes away all the craving, and even if you do H you won't feel anything as long as you're on it.
And I haven't had much side effects from it. and most people who do have side effects, they usually reduce the dosage, it'll have the same effect, but less side effect.
Click to expand...

Great advice.

Self-medicating with ethanol is definitely destructive on your body because ethanol is very toxic to many bodily organs, as well as you do NOT want to trade up for a drinking problem.

you can try a short taper with Suboxone first, if you relapse again - then maybe you can get on a long term maintenance program so as to avoid relapse for as long as you need to? During this time focus on your recovery, etc. and eventually wean yourself off of it.

It can be done. I have been on it for at least 2 or 3 years now (the days turn to months and months turn to years quicker than you know it; you're still 16 so you still have a lot of the best years of your life ahead of you).
 
Guilt doesn't help. Just accept that ppl relapse and try to do better.

Try not to get addicted to one thing or take too much of one substance in a night. This is a more realistic harm reduction goal for u at this time and is a goal that I have followed and has served me.
 
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