oral DMT - you know - I fought the spirits and the spirits almost fucking won!
So I IV'd some DMT, 1000mg, and then aliens from the planet, Zoloft, came and took me there where two dolphins with five dicks, repeatedly fucked me in the ass for what seemed like infinity, while a chicken with 3 eyes (it was kinda cute..) made out with me.
I wish that happend! uh, no..take that back, that would be MUCH worse than what really happened!!!!
------------------------
DMT orally / huasca - 70mg and another 40-50mg booster about 45mins into the experience. A tab of 150mg moclobemide as the mao-a inhibitor... This has happened twice now, and after much thought and reading, i'd recommend using syrian rue/harmaline/etc. and NOT moclobemide!
First time this happened.. (before this experience) I took some DMT with mocl., and everything from the onset of the trip, visuals, all effects, were much different. It just didn't feel 'right'. At some point, i 'felt' quite off, and i then heard sounds, words or something. This was NOT anything like what I normally hear while on DMT - i've heard all sorts of things before, but it was 'right' - for example.. hearing my own voice say something or a friends voice talking, i've had conversations with 'myself' in my head which is all very interesting and was never uncomfortable. This time though, I don't know how to explain it really, but hearing in my voice me saying "wow" through the radio which was on, and whatever other voice, it felt so WIERD and freaky. It felt distant and out there, just not right. It seemed more like psychosis or schizophrenia 8( .
I was coming up, and i just 'knew', this ain't right for some reason. I began to feel "posessed". My anxiety level rose up and I knew what I had to do quick - dose up on g ASAP. As I was going to grab a couple capsules (i always drop the ghb/gbl/bdo into capsules to take), i felt a presence, a pissed off presence.. or more like an angry spirit or just a "spirit" that likes to fuck with ya. As I was trying to open the caps up and grab the g, this feeing grew STRONG real quick. "IT" did not want me dosing up on g. It felt like I was fighting a spirit, and it had a lot of control. I'm trying to get the dropper full of g and as i'm doing this my hands start shaking, and i mean SHAKING.. I felt FEAR that I don't remember feeling in years. My hands were shaking like this "spirit" was trying to stop me from being able to drip the g into the capsule. Along with that, there were some other rather loud sounds that would make me jump. Well i barely managed to get some g into the capsule and close it up still shaking, and somehow down that fucker with some water. No fucking way I was going for another capsule.
So then after that i tried to focus on relaxing, breathing in and out slowly, and also, thinking/asking, why? Am I using 'huasca too often? Was it maybe because I was lacking sleep? Was it the l-theanine I took earlier? Dexedrine still in my system? I was thinking possibly this "spirit" was trying to send me a clear message, but that is not the way I felt (i have felt it before previously, but it was like a normal DMT trip, NOT like this...). Caffeine? I was asking "it" for any input, and oh fuck no I was in no position to argue with "it" - whatever it may be. I was freaked. I was asking nicely, please? Can I know why? Will you please kill the scare tactics and be cool and let me chill for right now?
I sat calmly and eventually the 0.7 or so mL of ghb (.7g) barely kicked in, reducing my anxiety. Hell, it was not much, but it gave me more control over this spirit thing, enough control to attempt to take another capsule - or so I thought.. Went for the cap, i felt the fear again, not as strong, but enough for me to put it down and say ok, thats cool mr. spirit, I won't. So I waited for the effects to die down some.
That experience was completely unlike all previous experiences. I've read a few reports of horrible experiences using moclobemide with DMT on erowid, I found a couple but did not find the one I was looking for:
http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=1765
http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=1775
This right here sounds so similar..
"psychic rape"...
Now, I have thought long and hard that maybe it was some sort of message, to not use 'huasca as much. I've read and read, people taking it daily, even all day long, redose after redose, higher levels that I haven't even experienced yet. I have not found ONE report yet of a similar experience when harmaline/rue/cappi vine was used for the maoi. If any of you do, please give a link, because as i'm writing this as of right now I am thinking it is the moclobemide. You name it, i've probably already thought about it.
I am someone who really for quite a while, seems pretty damn balanced mentally. I really have ditched (well i mean resolved) most issues i've had, well I guess everyone has their issues or whatever but i'm for the most part just fine. I have tripped my nuts off into lala land on so many different psychedelics, and sure did deal with some past issues during that. I know one of the first things any of you reading this would probably guess is, this dude's just taking it too much and got his ass kicked - and that was what I was thinking the first time too, but, this "spirit" "IT" whatever, it certainly did not give me any insight whatsoever - it almost seemed "evil" "bad", up to no good.
-----
Now I actually ended up writing about the first time this happened, this last night being the 2nd only not nearly as much (the bad shit). This time I got good sleep, yada yada. Basically this time i tried techniques like breathing/etc to stop any possible panic feedback loop thing happening, stayed calm, grabbed two capsules, and i filled those fuckers up to the top and ate 'em. Ha ha! spirits, can't do shit now (well i wasn't going to say/think that unless the g hit me first!). GHB, the solve-everything related to any other drug substance.
I even thought possibly taking g a couple times with a friend lately and getting drunk two nights ago, any kind of dopamine thing coming into play here. Also, i've been taking low doses of amisulpride for a while now, to boost/regulate dopamine levels, and recently stopped taking it.
I am not just curious why this has happened, but i'm gonna figure out why, god dammit! Even through the night, g wore off, well I redosed on the DMT a couple times, lower doses though (more like 50mg). First time I took 1.2g piracetam, to see what effect that would have. Felt a little of the 'freaky' effect still, only for a short time and that was it. Piracetam... uh, yes, it vastly changes the visuals, very very colorful, rainbows shooting here and there. I'd recommend to anyone that takes it daily (i usually do) to not take it for a few days before 'huasca, i mean, if its your first time.
Now, jurema, the nasty tasting brew made with the bark I used for this, mimosa, seems to have other things in it that allow it to work without an maoi. I read one of them was related in structure to moclobemide.. Also I thought about anything else possibly in it, that maybe varies with different bark, like methyl-tryptamine, maybe 5-OH-DMT i'm not sure. Sometimes i've noticed even before, randomly a trip would be much different - like more visual but in a more 'typical' tryptamine way. Longer trails, but lacking a lot of the usual DMT effects. I dunno..
Well.... since i took piracetam I was going to stop experimenting because it changes it so much, but, i decided to take 50mg amisulpride, and another dose of dmt. Hmm.. well this feels the most normal of it all so far, maybe this is it! Maybe going off of it suddenly had my dopamine all wierd. This feels perfect, except for the insane colorful piracetam visuals. I feel like taking a higher dose to go toward that fear factor more, but since I ate some piracetam i'll save it for another day (but usually this doesn't happen at all, its random just twice now). I'm going to start taking amisulpride again.. and use moclobemide again.. wasn't going to, but i'd like to find out. Well i'd rather not, and use harmaline but i might do both and see if it happens while i'm on amisulpride.
This time was nowhere near like the first time it happened, but really, it was totally wierd and its not like I could "let go" cause, it wasn't like ego death or anything, really all there was to do was just try and relax, and wait til its over. Maybe there really IS some thing I need to deal with?!? The only way I see to do that, would be definitely take harmaline instead, and take a LARGE dose, i mean, throw me into hyperspace or something? I am going to post this in an ayahuasca forum where more experienced people there may have some more input. I looked and looked, I haven't found an experience like this, except for the few moclobemide reports that were similar.
----------------------
Anyway, huasca/dmt has helped me so fucking much its crazy. Its changed my life more than any other psychedelic, and it just keeps getting better (i just have to figure out whats for sure causing this). I have this, new confidence, i really feel like i can seduce any girl i want.. gimme a hot lesbian and i can probably get her hot.. its wierd! And uh, i have maybe a couple girls in mind which i plan to do that to.
Its like my mind just works better (i'm saying these things last i do not need to be on dmt) in all area's. I'm going to put away all the synthetics, but stick to this pretty regularly, i should take "breaks" of months and start again also. For those "other" types of trips, i'd rather have mushrooms and/or san pedro/mescaline. I'm making a few exceptions though, i haven't had LSD in 4+ years and plan to use that one of these days. Also MDMA which i rarely use, plan to use that with some good friends one day. Ohh yeah, forgot the 3rd one, since i made some DIPT freebase and could not deal with completely wacked out sound for 2 days, from what little i read smoked DIPT fb is more psychedelic/last like 30mins. I'll try that probably once.
I do have more to add about what i've noticed with moclobemide but i'll add it later, sleepy time..
Edit: I really wondered about having a lack of dopamine lately, mainly because lately i've been poppin' them damn dexedrine's like candy. So, i took a small amount of this l-dopa extract i have, and then another 50mg DMT. Well boom boom da zoom! Its now perfect, this is good ol' dmt. I also took a big B complex vitamin, which i havent taken in a couple days, damn, even brighter colors..
I love how you can, totally function on this. Anyway.. this might be my problem and not the moclobemide. False alarm! well maybe.
%)
How's that for a title? lol
So I IV'd some DMT, 1000mg, and then aliens from the planet, Zoloft, came and took me there where two dolphins with five dicks, repeatedly fucked me in the ass for what seemed like infinity, while a chicken with 3 eyes (it was kinda cute..) made out with me.
I wish that happend! uh, no..take that back, that would be MUCH worse than what really happened!!!!
------------------------
DMT orally / huasca - 70mg and another 40-50mg booster about 45mins into the experience. A tab of 150mg moclobemide as the mao-a inhibitor... This has happened twice now, and after much thought and reading, i'd recommend using syrian rue/harmaline/etc. and NOT moclobemide!
First time this happened.. (before this experience) I took some DMT with mocl., and everything from the onset of the trip, visuals, all effects, were much different. It just didn't feel 'right'. At some point, i 'felt' quite off, and i then heard sounds, words or something. This was NOT anything like what I normally hear while on DMT - i've heard all sorts of things before, but it was 'right' - for example.. hearing my own voice say something or a friends voice talking, i've had conversations with 'myself' in my head which is all very interesting and was never uncomfortable. This time though, I don't know how to explain it really, but hearing in my voice me saying "wow" through the radio which was on, and whatever other voice, it felt so WIERD and freaky. It felt distant and out there, just not right. It seemed more like psychosis or schizophrenia 8( .
I was coming up, and i just 'knew', this ain't right for some reason. I began to feel "posessed". My anxiety level rose up and I knew what I had to do quick - dose up on g ASAP. As I was going to grab a couple capsules (i always drop the ghb/gbl/bdo into capsules to take), i felt a presence, a pissed off presence.. or more like an angry spirit or just a "spirit" that likes to fuck with ya. As I was trying to open the caps up and grab the g, this feeing grew STRONG real quick. "IT" did not want me dosing up on g. It felt like I was fighting a spirit, and it had a lot of control. I'm trying to get the dropper full of g and as i'm doing this my hands start shaking, and i mean SHAKING.. I felt FEAR that I don't remember feeling in years. My hands were shaking like this "spirit" was trying to stop me from being able to drip the g into the capsule. Along with that, there were some other rather loud sounds that would make me jump. Well i barely managed to get some g into the capsule and close it up still shaking, and somehow down that fucker with some water. No fucking way I was going for another capsule.
So then after that i tried to focus on relaxing, breathing in and out slowly, and also, thinking/asking, why? Am I using 'huasca too often? Was it maybe because I was lacking sleep? Was it the l-theanine I took earlier? Dexedrine still in my system? I was thinking possibly this "spirit" was trying to send me a clear message, but that is not the way I felt (i have felt it before previously, but it was like a normal DMT trip, NOT like this...). Caffeine? I was asking "it" for any input, and oh fuck no I was in no position to argue with "it" - whatever it may be. I was freaked. I was asking nicely, please? Can I know why? Will you please kill the scare tactics and be cool and let me chill for right now?
I sat calmly and eventually the 0.7 or so mL of ghb (.7g) barely kicked in, reducing my anxiety. Hell, it was not much, but it gave me more control over this spirit thing, enough control to attempt to take another capsule - or so I thought.. Went for the cap, i felt the fear again, not as strong, but enough for me to put it down and say ok, thats cool mr. spirit, I won't. So I waited for the effects to die down some.
That experience was completely unlike all previous experiences. I've read a few reports of horrible experiences using moclobemide with DMT on erowid, I found a couple but did not find the one I was looking for:
http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=1765
http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=1775
This right here sounds so similar..
"psychic rape"...
Now, I have thought long and hard that maybe it was some sort of message, to not use 'huasca as much. I've read and read, people taking it daily, even all day long, redose after redose, higher levels that I haven't even experienced yet. I have not found ONE report yet of a similar experience when harmaline/rue/cappi vine was used for the maoi. If any of you do, please give a link, because as i'm writing this as of right now I am thinking it is the moclobemide. You name it, i've probably already thought about it.
I am someone who really for quite a while, seems pretty damn balanced mentally. I really have ditched (well i mean resolved) most issues i've had, well I guess everyone has their issues or whatever but i'm for the most part just fine. I have tripped my nuts off into lala land on so many different psychedelics, and sure did deal with some past issues during that. I know one of the first things any of you reading this would probably guess is, this dude's just taking it too much and got his ass kicked - and that was what I was thinking the first time too, but, this "spirit" "IT" whatever, it certainly did not give me any insight whatsoever - it almost seemed "evil" "bad", up to no good.
-----
Now I actually ended up writing about the first time this happened, this last night being the 2nd only not nearly as much (the bad shit). This time I got good sleep, yada yada. Basically this time i tried techniques like breathing/etc to stop any possible panic feedback loop thing happening, stayed calm, grabbed two capsules, and i filled those fuckers up to the top and ate 'em. Ha ha! spirits, can't do shit now (well i wasn't going to say/think that unless the g hit me first!). GHB, the solve-everything related to any other drug substance.
I even thought possibly taking g a couple times with a friend lately and getting drunk two nights ago, any kind of dopamine thing coming into play here. Also, i've been taking low doses of amisulpride for a while now, to boost/regulate dopamine levels, and recently stopped taking it.
I am not just curious why this has happened, but i'm gonna figure out why, god dammit! Even through the night, g wore off, well I redosed on the DMT a couple times, lower doses though (more like 50mg). First time I took 1.2g piracetam, to see what effect that would have. Felt a little of the 'freaky' effect still, only for a short time and that was it. Piracetam... uh, yes, it vastly changes the visuals, very very colorful, rainbows shooting here and there. I'd recommend to anyone that takes it daily (i usually do) to not take it for a few days before 'huasca, i mean, if its your first time.
Now, jurema, the nasty tasting brew made with the bark I used for this, mimosa, seems to have other things in it that allow it to work without an maoi. I read one of them was related in structure to moclobemide.. Also I thought about anything else possibly in it, that maybe varies with different bark, like methyl-tryptamine, maybe 5-OH-DMT i'm not sure. Sometimes i've noticed even before, randomly a trip would be much different - like more visual but in a more 'typical' tryptamine way. Longer trails, but lacking a lot of the usual DMT effects. I dunno..
Well.... since i took piracetam I was going to stop experimenting because it changes it so much, but, i decided to take 50mg amisulpride, and another dose of dmt. Hmm.. well this feels the most normal of it all so far, maybe this is it! Maybe going off of it suddenly had my dopamine all wierd. This feels perfect, except for the insane colorful piracetam visuals. I feel like taking a higher dose to go toward that fear factor more, but since I ate some piracetam i'll save it for another day (but usually this doesn't happen at all, its random just twice now). I'm going to start taking amisulpride again.. and use moclobemide again.. wasn't going to, but i'd like to find out. Well i'd rather not, and use harmaline but i might do both and see if it happens while i'm on amisulpride.
This time was nowhere near like the first time it happened, but really, it was totally wierd and its not like I could "let go" cause, it wasn't like ego death or anything, really all there was to do was just try and relax, and wait til its over. Maybe there really IS some thing I need to deal with?!? The only way I see to do that, would be definitely take harmaline instead, and take a LARGE dose, i mean, throw me into hyperspace or something? I am going to post this in an ayahuasca forum where more experienced people there may have some more input. I looked and looked, I haven't found an experience like this, except for the few moclobemide reports that were similar.
----------------------
Anyway, huasca/dmt has helped me so fucking much its crazy. Its changed my life more than any other psychedelic, and it just keeps getting better (i just have to figure out whats for sure causing this). I have this, new confidence, i really feel like i can seduce any girl i want.. gimme a hot lesbian and i can probably get her hot.. its wierd! And uh, i have maybe a couple girls in mind which i plan to do that to.
Its like my mind just works better (i'm saying these things last i do not need to be on dmt) in all area's. I'm going to put away all the synthetics, but stick to this pretty regularly, i should take "breaks" of months and start again also. For those "other" types of trips, i'd rather have mushrooms and/or san pedro/mescaline. I'm making a few exceptions though, i haven't had LSD in 4+ years and plan to use that one of these days. Also MDMA which i rarely use, plan to use that with some good friends one day. Ohh yeah, forgot the 3rd one, since i made some DIPT freebase and could not deal with completely wacked out sound for 2 days, from what little i read smoked DIPT fb is more psychedelic/last like 30mins. I'll try that probably once.
I do have more to add about what i've noticed with moclobemide but i'll add it later, sleepy time..
Edit: I really wondered about having a lack of dopamine lately, mainly because lately i've been poppin' them damn dexedrine's like candy. So, i took a small amount of this l-dopa extract i have, and then another 50mg DMT. Well boom boom da zoom! Its now perfect, this is good ol' dmt. I also took a big B complex vitamin, which i havent taken in a couple days, damn, even brighter colors..
I love how you can, totally function on this. Anyway.. this might be my problem and not the moclobemide. False alarm! well maybe.
%)
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