ageingpartyfiend
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 5, 2011
- Messages
- 7,396
I honestly think a rhesus monkey could hand its CV into the NHS and get an admin role there.
nah, would be overqualified
I honestly think a rhesus monkey could hand its CV into the NHS and get an admin role there.
In my experience (through my son), referral to CAMHS is the beginning of the shitstorm. As Wilson said above, it's just a revolving door. You go in for 10 minutes, go though the same shit, then come out with another appointment to do it all again. 3 years he's been in this limbo, fuck all has happened in that time until recently with his commencement of CBT and sertraline. Communication is shit. Even his regular point of contact gets his name wrong and doesn't seem to know her arse from her elbow. The thing is, to an adolescent, 3 years is a fuckin long time. To adults it's nothing. But when a young person needs help they need it immediately - this is where the NHS is failing them...
I honestly think that if you're not an extreme case, you're better off not being caught up in the system. My son's a crafty fucker who will use any excuse to avoid having to do shit (this is why I know he's got my genes). I just feel that 'the system' currently enables this behaviour rather than encouraging them to just man up and get on with it.
And this is where I'm torn in two. I was a fuckup at his age. Mental health issues in kids wasn't a thing. I had to deal with it slowly in my own, long drawn out misguided way. Took me a 20 year heroin addiction to get myself finally sorted. Do I think that's a suitable remedy for my son? Do I fuck!
But the current mental health system doesn't appear to offer any alternative...
Genes defintely play a factor in developing depression and certain behaviour traits,but i agree that your upbringing plays a bigger rolw. Its a very complex matter where both factors affect each other and also in some departs genettics play a bigger role thab in others.my personal view is that while genes (nature) determine physical, anatomical and some physiological aspects of who you are, they have very little to do with personality, intelligence or sexuality which are all shaped by experiences in early life. A baby is a baby - basically a blank slate - it doesn't have a sexuality or a personality yet.
If someone grows up around parents or other close relatives who drink or take drugs copiously then there's a strong likelihood that the child will follow suit - that isn't inherited, it's learnt behaviour. Just as someone who grows up with parents who suffer from depression may well develop depression themselves. Why wouldn't they? The current fashionable theory is that there are genetic links with this type of thing, but I have my doubts. Certainly not to the extent that some believe
You blame yourself for your negative aspects, and you alone make the choices you do, but these aspects and your personality - including penchant for substance abuse - are a result of your upbringing or experiences you may have been subject to. So while you're old enough to take the blame for the bad choices you make now, at the same time don't be too hard on yourself: You didn't choose your environment for the first 20 years of your life. Nobody does
Yep that’s pretty much it. I made a conscious decision to be on opioids all the time because SSRIs and whatever else the psychs threw at me didn’t work, at least opioids make me feel better. I woulda killed myself if I hadn’t found something that worked.. unfortunately an unsanctioned dependence on opioids has a lot of its own drawbacksSSRIs.
The preferred medication for professionals who haven't got a fuckin clue but need to be seen to be doing something.
I'm sure life would be simpler if I hadn't developed cynicism syndrome...![]()
Fuck me! Now my daughter is on sertraline.
I'm such a failure as a parent...![]()
Nah man don't beat yourself up. Depression and anxiety are almost never caused by environmental factors like parenting. If it was down to your parenting you'd be dealing with BPD or something instead.
My mum was the same when I first voiced concerns I might have depression at 16, blaming herself and saying she's a bad parent etc... it was bollocks, she's a great parent and likewise granted I only know you through a forum but you seem like a smart, kind, level-headed guy who has no reason to feel this way about himself.
Thanks for the kind words mate, but when both your kids end up on SSRIs it's hard not to blame yourself. My son I can understand as he does seem to have real issues, but with my daughter it seems to be purely because her boyfriend has dumped her. Could be worse though, when her last boyfriend dumped her, she boshed 3 packets of ibuprofen as a completely shit suicide attempt. As a result, we never keep paracetamol in the house...
How old is she? Hopefully it's just teenage hormones and nothing more. When I was like 14 I wanted to off myself after a breakup too. Would never be like that now as an adult.
And in her case, assuming she is fine otherwise, it really sounds like situational depression type stuff just exaggerated due to young age.
She's nearly 21...
Ah well that's more concerning then :/
Might be worth encouraging her to see a shrink and see what they say, as I am guessing there is more going on that she might not be forthright about.
I still think you shouldn't blame yourself harshly. Me and my bro both have mental illness too. Neither of us blame our parents for it.
In a roundabout way I guess I could blame them for having shitty genes, but then that's not really their fault either is it?
Did you do the best you could to raise them well and give them a good environment to grow up in? If so you got nothing to feel guilty about.
We've provided everything they need, and attempted to give them what they want - but with kids these days it never seems to be enough, especially when you're on a limited budget. I'm more than a little concerned about the effect those fake xanax might have had on her though.
Thanks Stee.
Unfortunately, I fear that the biggest problem with my kids is that they've inherited their dad's faulty genes. That's what scares me the most...
it's not about what you offer, idk why you parents think that offering something has something to do in this situation or this situation has something to do with y'all, I tell you since I am the age of your daughter and you are the age of my mom, she sings this song everytime too. it doesn't have to do with you, don't they leave the house at all? and when they do you don't know what happens, I am more than sure that is where their situations were developed. we leaved and still live on a tight bugdet we aren't the lowest neither the highest class but we got to live from paycheck to paycheck. I don't think it has something to do with you honestly, I see you as a nice guy, can't commenting on the parenting as I didn't witness it but I don't think that it has to do with you and what you are offering.
i've seen a psychiatrist for my addictions and in rehab a psychologist too as I was forced to do it, they tell it isn't as transmissible in the DNA 100% but with an alchoholic grand-grandfather, alcoholic granfathers, alcholic dad and addict me I think that you can trully inherit it.
you did everything you could man, for a guy that went on a ride like you and still be able to hold a house on a budget is a blessing, look at other addicts on this forum at your age that work nada and have abandoned kids with grandparents.
Sertraline never did anything for me other than acted as a laxative